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First off, they didn't just see my dick, okay?
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Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle

First off, they didn't justsee my dick, okay?

First off, they didn't just
see my dick, okay?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.044
First off, they didn't just see my dick, okay?
Duration
5 seconds
Views
45
Timestamp in Movie
00:05:12
Uploaded
Mar 08, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

It follows Bert Kreischer as he spills on bodily emissions, being bullied by his kids and the end to his family's escape room outing.
They saw all of it. The trilogy. All three stories. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
They saw all of it. The trilogy. All three stories.
Secondly, I didn't show them my dick. I wasn't like, "Hey, girls..." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
Secondly, I didn't show them my dick. I wasn't lik...
"You almost done your homework?" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:09
"You almost done your homework?"
No, hang on. Hear me out. I'm not saying I want it to be rock-hard, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:07
No, hang on. Hear me out. I'm not saying I want it to b...
You can't send your daughters to college - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
You can't send your daughters to college
First time they get a guy and they're like, "Now, that's a cock." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:18
First time they get a guy and they're like, "Now, ...
Looks like a little boy looking in a well. "What's going on in here?" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:09
Looks like a little boy looking in a well. "What's...
Yeah, I panicked and did the old Buffalo Bill - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:07
Yeah, I panicked and did the old Buffalo Bill
Enough that the first time I got a chick naked, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
Enough that the first time I got a chick naked,
She's honest, 100% honest all the time. The other night we're at dinner. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:05
She's honest, 100% honest all the time. The other night...
I'm three drinks in. The girls go, "You guys ever done drugs?" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:39
I'm three drinks in. The girls go, "You guys ever ...
"I didn't like it very much." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:10
"I didn't like it very much."
She goes, "That's a lie. Your daddy's done cocaine a lot." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:41
She goes, "That's a lie. Your daddy's done co...
"Were you homeschooled, Dad?" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:18
"Were you homeschooled, Dad?"
My buddy... My buddy sold his company, made a lot of money, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:07
My buddy... My buddy sold his company, made a lot of money,
He brought her to our house, showing her off. "She can't read at all." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:11
He brought her to our house, showing her off. "She can&...
Sweater on. Bifocals. Reading a magazine. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:05
Sweater on. Bifocals. Reading a magazine.
I leaned over... This is the relationship I have with my wife, okay? - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
I leaned over... This is the relationship I have with my wif...
"I wonder what I could upgrade to." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:18
"I wonder what I could upgrade to."
I said, "Yeah, I've been working with the old beater too long." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:08
I said, "Yeah, I've been working with the old beat...