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Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle

I go, "I need to know if you're on my teamor off my team." She's like, "I'm on your team."...

I go, "I need to know if you're on my team
or off my team." She's like, "I'm on your team." My wife's a redneck.
I should have told you that

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.086
I go, "I need to know if you're on my team or off my team."
00:00:07.047 --> 00:00:09.508
She's like, "I'm on your team."
00:00:09.591 --> 00:00:12.553
My wife's a redneck. I should have told you that.
Duration
14 seconds
Views
74
Timestamp in Movie
00:02:18
Uploaded
Mar 08, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

It follows Bert Kreischer as he spills on bodily emissions, being bullied by his kids and the end to his family's escape room outing.
On our marriage application, in her hometown, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:08
On our marriage application, in her hometown,
I go, "What do we put for three?" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:16
I go, "What do we put for three?"
I hand my wife the pocket knife, and I go, "We have a problem." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:08
I hand my wife the pocket knife, and I go, "We have a p...
And she says, "Why did you do that?" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:09
And she says, "Why did you do that?"
Lady by the pool's like, "Braid your hair. Braid you hair." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:43
Lady by the pool's like, "Braid your hair. Braid y...
Lay on my back, kick my feet in the air like a baby getting his diaper changed, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:16
Lay on my back, kick my feet in the air like a baby getting ...
All I heard was, "Oh my God, Dad's vagina!" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:08
All I heard was, "Oh my God, Dad's vagina!"
I hop up naked with a knife like I'm fighting two hookers for my wallet. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
I hop up naked with a knife like I'm fighting two hooke...
She sees the commotion, cuts off the hair dryer, and goes, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:16
She sees the commotion, cuts off the hair dryer, and goes,
She goes, "You know, heads-up, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:15
She goes, "You know, heads-up,
First off, they didn't just see my dick, okay? - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:05
First off, they didn't just see my dick, okay?
They saw all of it. The trilogy. All three stories. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
They saw all of it. The trilogy. All three stories.
Secondly, I didn't show them my dick. I wasn't like, "Hey, girls..." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
Secondly, I didn't show them my dick. I wasn't lik...
"You almost done your homework?" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:09
"You almost done your homework?"
No, hang on. Hear me out. I'm not saying I want it to be rock-hard, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:07
No, hang on. Hear me out. I'm not saying I want it to b...
You can't send your daughters to college - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
You can't send your daughters to college
First time they get a guy and they're like, "Now, that's a cock." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:18
First time they get a guy and they're like, "Now, ...
Looks like a little boy looking in a well. "What's going on in here?" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:09
Looks like a little boy looking in a well. "What's...
Yeah, I panicked and did the old Buffalo Bill - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:07
Yeah, I panicked and did the old Buffalo Bill
Enough that the first time I got a chick naked, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
Enough that the first time I got a chick naked,