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Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle

I go, "What do we put for three?" The lady goes, "Well, is you?" I go, "I don't think we...

I go, "What do we put for three?" The lady goes, "Well, is you?" I go, "I don't think we is." "Then put you ain't." "I'm not writing 'ain't.'
That means we is." So

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.071
I go, "What do we put for three?"
00:00:04.042 --> 00:00:06.505
The lady goes, "Well, is you?"
00:00:08.591 --> 00:00:10.926
I go, "I don't think we is."
00:00:11.998 --> 00:00:12.386
"Then put you ain't."
00:00:12.047 --> 00:00:14.513
"I'm not writing 'ain't.' That means we is." So...
Duration
16 seconds
Views
48
Timestamp in Movie
00:02:39
Uploaded
Mar 08, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

It follows Bert Kreischer as he spills on bodily emissions, being bullied by his kids and the end to his family's escape room outing.
I hand my wife the pocket knife, and I go, "We have a problem." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:08
I hand my wife the pocket knife, and I go, "We have a p...
And she says, "Why did you do that?" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:09
And she says, "Why did you do that?"
Lady by the pool's like, "Braid your hair. Braid you hair." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:43
Lady by the pool's like, "Braid your hair. Braid y...
Lay on my back, kick my feet in the air like a baby getting his diaper changed, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:16
Lay on my back, kick my feet in the air like a baby getting ...
All I heard was, "Oh my God, Dad's vagina!" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:08
All I heard was, "Oh my God, Dad's vagina!"
I hop up naked with a knife like I'm fighting two hookers for my wallet. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
I hop up naked with a knife like I'm fighting two hooke...
She sees the commotion, cuts off the hair dryer, and goes, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:16
She sees the commotion, cuts off the hair dryer, and goes,
She goes, "You know, heads-up, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:15
She goes, "You know, heads-up,
First off, they didn't just see my dick, okay? - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:05
First off, they didn't just see my dick, okay?
They saw all of it. The trilogy. All three stories. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
They saw all of it. The trilogy. All three stories.
Secondly, I didn't show them my dick. I wasn't like, "Hey, girls..." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
Secondly, I didn't show them my dick. I wasn't lik...
"You almost done your homework?" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:09
"You almost done your homework?"
No, hang on. Hear me out. I'm not saying I want it to be rock-hard, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:07
No, hang on. Hear me out. I'm not saying I want it to b...
You can't send your daughters to college - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
You can't send your daughters to college
First time they get a guy and they're like, "Now, that's a cock." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:18
First time they get a guy and they're like, "Now, ...
Looks like a little boy looking in a well. "What's going on in here?" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:09
Looks like a little boy looking in a well. "What's...
Yeah, I panicked and did the old Buffalo Bill - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:07
Yeah, I panicked and did the old Buffalo Bill
Enough that the first time I got a chick naked, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
Enough that the first time I got a chick naked,
She's honest, 100% honest all the time. The other night we're at dinner. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:05
She's honest, 100% honest all the time. The other night...
I'm three drinks in. The girls go, "You guys ever done drugs?" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:39
I'm three drinks in. The girls go, "You guys ever ...