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Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle

I said, "First off, it's fifth grade." "No one's finger-fucking30 in the...

I said, "First off, it's fifth grade." "No one's finger-fucking
in the back of a Jetta tonight." It's 8:30 in the morning.
Everyone's listening now, right?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.294
I said, "First off, it's fifth grade."
00:00:03.378 --> 00:00:05.714
"No one's finger-fucking in the back of a Jetta tonight."
00:00:07.132 --> 00:00:09.926
It's 8:30 in the morning. Everyone's listening now, right?
Duration
11 seconds
Views
46
Timestamp in Movie
00:26:47
Uploaded
Mar 08, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

It follows Bert Kreischer as he spills on bodily emissions, being bullied by his kids and the end to his family's escape room outing.
I said, "As Ila's parent, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:18
I said, "As Ila's parent,
The pronoun parents lost their fucking shit. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:05
The pronoun parents lost their fucking shit.
"He's a comedian! He's a comedian!" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:11
"He's a comedian! He's a comedian!"
The worst one, LeeAnn and I one time went to a wine tasting-slash-raffle. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:07
The worst one, LeeAnn and I one time went to a wine tasting-...
She's like, "Let's not get fucking wasted tonight." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:14
She's like, "Let's not get fucking wasted ton...
They give you these baby cups, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
They give you these baby cups,
Ten dads over by the stage. They've already bought all their wine. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:05
Ten dads over by the stage. They've already bought all ...
They've opened up the bottles and drinking like it's Game of Thrones. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:13
They've opened up the bottles and drinking like it'...
My buddy Darren's running the raffle. I go, "Yo..." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:44
My buddy Darren's running the raffle. I go, "Yo......
He goes, "If I do, you're gonna win a lot of the prizes." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
He goes, "If I do, you're gonna win a lot of the p...
He goes, "If you do that, that'll upset some parents." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:31
He goes, "If you do that, that'll upset some paren...
...six hundred and sixty tickets. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:07
...six hundred and sixty tickets.
When he handed them to me, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
When he handed them to me,
I said, "Darren, anything in between, you know I have." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:13
I said, "Darren, anything in between, you know I have.&...
I picked the table furthest from the stage where they were calling the numbers - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:08
I picked the table furthest from the stage where they were c...
"You bought raffle tickets?" I go, "A couple." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:09
"You bought raffle tickets?" I go, "A couple....
I was like, "Oh, that's me!" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:08
I was like, "Oh, that's me!"
"Oh, I'm so sorry." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:18
"Oh, I'm so sorry."
Now I'm just staring at parents, going, "What did I win, Darren?" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:14
Now I'm just staring at parents, going, "What did ...
I'm on stage putting diamonds in my high school holes... - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:05
I'm on stage putting diamonds in my high school holes.....