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I'm holding both my daughters like a human shield
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Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle

I'm holding both my daughterslike a human shield

I'm holding both my daughters
like a human shield

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.086
I'm holding both my daughters like a human shield.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
31
Timestamp in Movie
00:52:00
Uploaded
Mar 08, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

It follows Bert Kreischer as he spills on bodily emissions, being bullied by his kids and the end to his family's escape room outing.
"Your father threw me into the wall!" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:23
"Your father threw me into the wall!"
"I think we should all get in the wall." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:34
"I think we should all get in the wall."
My dad's like, "Buddy, I got bad news for you." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:28
My dad's like, "Buddy, I got bad news for you.&quo...
I listened to his voice, like when I was a kid and played baseball. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:05
I listened to his voice, like when I was a kid and played ba...
"We got this, big guy." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:10
"We got this, big guy."
Or shimmying on all fours... - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
Or shimmying on all fours...
...but I let out a novel virus fart, like... - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:05
...but I let out a novel virus fart, like...
The kind of farts that escape your body - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
The kind of farts that escape your body
The kind of farts that burn your asshole. Just the fart, the air burns your asshole. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:07
The kind of farts that burn your asshole. Just the fart, the...
And you think to yourself, "That was air. I'm gonna be shitting blood later." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:12
And you think to yourself, "That was air. I'm gonn...
He goes from coach to cunt real quick. Just, "We got this, big guy!" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:50
He goes from coach to cunt real quick. Just, "We got th...
My daughters come flying out of that wall the happiest they've ever fucking been. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:08
My daughters come flying out of that wall the happiest they&...
Go right up to my mom and they go, "Nana, it's happening." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:14
Go right up to my mom and they go, "Nana, it's hap...
"Cocksucker! Motherfucker!" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:24
"Cocksucker! Motherfucker!"
...and is like, "I think I solved the escape room, Albert." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:15
...and is like, "I think I solved the escape room, Albe...
My daughters now have crossed their legs. They're about to piss their pants. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
My daughters now have crossed their legs. They're about...
He is at a level nine. "Motherfucker!" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:22
He is at a level nine. "Motherfucker!"
Which is a 90-year-old woman - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:07
Which is a 90-year-old woman
She's trying to adjust her eyes to the light and remember her line. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
She's trying to adjust her eyes to the light and rememb...
...puts his heel on it, and he's like, "Everybody, back in the fucking wall!" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:10
...puts his heel on it, and he's like, "Everybody,...