"Best in Show" quotes

Best in Show poster
A behind-the-scenes look into the highly competitive and cut-throat world of dog shows through the eyes of a group of ruthless dog owners.

Director: Christopher Guest
Writer: Christopher Guest, Eugene Levy
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy
Year: 2000
MetaScore: 78/100
ImdbRating: 7.5
BoxOffice: $18,715,392
Released: 20 Oct 2000
Awards: 11 wins & 14 nominations

121 Clips

This is my euphemism - Best in Show 00:05
This is my euphemism
Too much information - Best in Show 00:04
Too much information
Because of the lactose - Best in Show 00:11
Because of the lactose
I think we're overpacking - Best in Show 00:06
I think we're overpacking
She's taking a close look at the Norwich - Best in Show 00:05
She's taking a close look at the Norwich
How many years ago did he poke me - Best in Show 00:05
How many years ago did he poke me
But that was fun - Best in Show 00:06
But that was fun
How it gets all wet then the water let your imagination run wild - Best in Show 00:10
How it gets all wet then the water let your imagination run...
GERRY l like to think that uh Cookie and l work as a team - Best in Show 00:07
GERRY l like to think that uh Cookie and l work as a team
It's called the Congress of the Cow - Best in Show 00:20
It's called the Congress of the Cow
Don't look at the fat ass losers or freaks - Best in Show 00:06
Don't look at the fat ass losers or freaks
You've got your Busy Bee - Best in Show 00:04
You've got your Busy Bee
She's not even responding to the toy - Best in Show 00:05
She's not even responding to the toy
Look at the size of that I've taken sponge baths in smaller bowls - Best in Show 00:06
Look at the size of that I've taken sponge baths in smaller...
I'm the show chairman - Best in Show 00:18
I'm the show chairman
It was like they were two members of the same body - Best in Show 00:25
It was like they were two members of the same body
Hate to go out with Judge Edie and have her judge me - Best in Show 00:07
Hate to go out with Judge Edie and have her judge me
I went to one of those obedience places once - Best in Show 00:09
I went to one of those obedience places once
They'll come in a van and take you I'll handle it - Best in Show 00:07
They'll come in a van and take you I'll handle it
Now that looks like a fast dog - Best in Show 00:12
Now that looks like a fast dog
I think what we're talking about is standards - Best in Show 00:17
I think what we're talking about is standards
Let me ask you This may be a little bit off the path - Best in Show 00:09
Let me ask you This may be a little bit off the path
After the dog show - Best in Show 00:10
After the dog show
This is a fish Well we know that's a fish - Best in Show 00:07
This is a fish Well we know that's a fish
And publish this magazine here - Best in Show 00:18
And publish this magazine here
Don't look him in the eye - Best in Show 00:05
Don't look him in the eye
He's got two left feet - Best in Show 00:14
He's got two left feet
I told my proctologist one time - Best in Show 00:13
I told my proctologist one time
You stupid hotel manager - Best in Show 00:07
You stupid hotel manager
But you were the best By far - Best in Show 00:12
But you were the best By far
Don't forget the tape - Best in Show 00:05
Don't forget the tape
She looks like a cocktail waitress on an oil rig - Best in Show 00:05
She looks like a cocktail waitress on an oil rig
What are you a wizard - Best in Show 00:06
What are you a wizard
Have you tried looking under the bed - Best in Show 00:09
Have you tried looking under the bed
We're not gonna sell - Best in Show 00:24
We're not gonna sell
Did somebody put something down here so I would trip - Best in Show 00:05
Did somebody put something down here so I would trip
Hold your horses - Best in Show 00:09
Hold your horses
You'd better be a hotel doorman - Best in Show 00:17
You'd better be a hotel doorman
I didn't ask for your opinion - Best in Show 00:06
I didn't ask for your opinion
I'm thinking of switching to the mock turtleneck - Best in Show 00:28
I'm thinking of switching to the mock turtleneck
That's the good card - Best in Show 00:07
That's the good card
Do you appreciate the amount of work that went into this - Best in Show 00:19
Do you appreciate the amount of work that went into this
We have you down for a queen - Best in Show 00:09
We have you down for a queen
We are  so  lucky - Best in Show 00:06
We are so lucky
We're gonna be in Philadelphia for 48 hours - Best in Show 00:10
We're gonna be in Philadelphia for 48 hours
Who are you all of a sudden - Best in Show 00:12
Who are you all of a sudden
Get out the bee Where's the bee - Best in Show 00:08
Get out the bee Where's the bee
Don't water the plants - Best in Show 00:04
Don't water the plants
Cookie Guggleman - Best in Show 00:11
Cookie Guggleman
Not the kidneys - Best in Show 00:21
Not the kidneys
Rhapsody has two mommies - Best in Show 00:04
Rhapsody has two mommies
Question that's always bothered me and a lot of people - Best in Show 00:16
Question that's always bothered me and a lot of people
I'll gouge your right eye out with my thumb - Best in Show 00:16
I'll gouge your right eye out with my thumb
I've banged a lot of waitresses in my day - Best in Show 00:09
I've banged a lot of waitresses in my day
He went for her like she's made outta ham - Best in Show 00:04
He went for her like she's made outta ham
The disciplinarian - Best in Show 00:36
The disciplinarian
How tall are you - Best in Show 00:19
How tall are you
To think that in some countries these dogs are eaten - Best in Show 00:05
To think that in some countries these dogs are eaten
And I thought that was really sexy - Best in Show 00:09
And I thought that was really sexy
I've got two left feet - Best in Show 00:23
I've got two left feet
In a bee costume - Best in Show 00:06
In a bee costume
We met at Starbucks - Best in Show 00:11
We met at Starbucks
He still pushes all my buttons - Best in Show 00:49
He still pushes all my buttons
And it used to drive my mother crazy - Best in Show 01:09
And it used to drive my mother crazy
Stefan Stefan This is my euphemism Stefan - Best in Show 00:05
Stefan Stefan This is my euphemism Stefan
Too much information - Best in Show 00:04
Too much information
And I'm now a big old you know Chai tea latte soy milk kind of guy - Best in Show 00:11
And I'm now a big old you know Chai tea latte soy milk kind...
Why are you doing this I think we're overpacking Don't you - Best in Show 00:06
Why are you doing this I think we're overpacking Don't you
How many years ago did he poke me - Best in Show 00:05
How many years ago did he poke me
Don't worry I know where I am - Best in Show 00:06
Don't worry I know where I am
What the hell is this - Best in Show 00:20
What the hell is this
We'll see the Liberty Bell - Best in Show 00:08
We'll see the Liberty Bell
I went to an obedience place once - Best in Show 00:09
I went to an obedience place once
Don't look at the fat ass losers or freaks You look at me - Best in Show 00:06
Don't look at the fat ass losers or freaks You look at me
Get the busy bee You want your busy bee - Best in Show 00:04
Get the busy bee You want your busy bee
She's not even reacting to the toy - Best in Show 00:05
She's not even reacting to the toy
Thing where he says - Best in Show 00:25
Thing where he says
Thing where he says - Best in Show 00:29
Thing where he says
And now we got to open up these offices - Best in Show 00:17
And now we got to open up these offices
Don't look at him in the eyes it challenges him - Best in Show 00:05
Don't look at him in the eyes it challenges him
Am I nuts or - Best in Show 00:14
Am I nuts or
I couldn't get used to being probed and prodded - Best in Show 00:13
I couldn't get used to being probed and prodded
Now that looks like a fast dog Is that faster than a Greyhound - Best in Show 00:12
Now that looks like a fast dog Is that faster than a...
Thanks for your help you stupid hotel manager - Best in Show 00:07
Thanks for your help you stupid hotel manager
And really I think what we're talking about is standards - Best in Show 00:17
And really I think what we're talking about is standards
And the Toy Group the Shih Tzu is here with Scott Donlan - Best in Show 00:17
And the Toy Group the Shih Tzu is here with Scott Donlan
She looks like a cocktail waitress on an oil rig - Best in Show 00:05
She looks like a cocktail waitress on an oil rig
Have you tried looking under the bed - Best in Show 00:09
Have you tried looking under the bed
We 're not gonna sell it It's for friends - Best in Show 00:25
We 're not gonna sell it It's for friends
What'd I trip on Did somebody put something here so I'd trip - Best in Show 00:05
What'd I trip on Did somebody put something here so I'd trip
All right I'm coming I only have five arms Hold your horses - Best in Show 00:09
All right I'm coming I only have five arms Hold your horses
I didn't ask for your opinion I asked for a toy that you don't have - Best in Show 00:06
I didn't ask for your opinion I asked for a toy that you...
Do you have an appreciation for the amount of work that went into these - Best in Show 00:19
Do you have an appreciation for the amount of work that went...
You must be very proud Mary Proud Mary - Best in Show 00:12
You must be very proud Mary Proud Mary
Don't water the plants they're plastic - Best in Show 00:04
Don't water the plants they're plastic
Yes Are you a wizard A genius - Best in Show 00:06
Yes Are you a wizard A genius
I think I'll switch to the mock turtleneck - Best in Show 00:27
I think I'll switch to the mock turtleneck
Non smoking two nights We have you down for a queen - Best in Show 00:09
Non smoking two nights We have you down for a queen
Oh I'm sorry Get down - Best in Show 00:07
Oh I'm sorry Get down
We were so lucky to have been raised amongst catalogs - Best in Show 00:06
We were so lucky to have been raised amongst catalogs
I had a terrible day today - Best in Show 00:22
I had a terrible day today
It wasn't actually Columbus on the Mayflower as you probably remember - Best in Show 00:30
It wasn't actually Columbus on the Mayflower as you probably...
We're in Philadelphia for 48 hours - Best in Show 00:10
We're in Philadelphia for 48 hours
Now Tyrone - Best in Show 00:22
Now Tyrone
Rhapsody has two mommies - Best in Show 00:04
Rhapsody has two mommies
I've banged a lot of waitresses in my day - Best in Show 00:09
I've banged a lot of waitresses in my day
We have a little bit of a family dynamic going here - Best in Show 00:36
We have a little bit of a family dynamic going here
How tall are you 6' 4 - Best in Show 00:20
How tall are you 6' 4
He went after her like she's made out of ham - Best in Show 00:04
He went after her like she's made out of ham
I'll gouge your eye out with my thumb I shit you not you freak - Best in Show 00:16
I'll gouge your eye out with my thumb I shit you not you...
Question that's always bothered me and a lot of people - Best in Show 00:16
Question that's always bothered me and a lot of people
Here it is Is this it No that's a bear in a bee costume - Best in Show 00:06
Here it is Is this it No that's a bear in a bee costume
I remember I was drinking a grande espresso when I met you - Best in Show 00:08
I remember I was drinking a grande espresso when I met you
I kept saying No I can't dance - Best in Show 00:18
I kept saying No I can't dance
She has a very big heart - Best in Show 00:19
She has a very big heart
Excuse me We met at Starbucks - Best in Show 00:11
Excuse me We met at Starbucks
We have an amazing relationship and it's very physical - Best in Show 00:36
We have an amazing relationship and it's very physical
I used to be able to name every nut - Best in Show 00:33
I used to be able to name every nut
I was drinking capuccinos - Best in Show 01:13
I was drinking capuccinos
I had a terrible day today - Best in Show 05:11
I had a terrible day today
She had dozens of boyfriends - Best in Show 00:32
She had dozens of boyfriends

Cast

Dr. Chuck Nelken - Jay Brazeau
Meg Swan - Parker Posey
Hamilton Swan - Michael Hitchcock
Cookie Fleck - Catherine O'Hara
Gerry Fleck - Eugene Levy
Fern City Show Spectator - Carrie Aizley
Fern City Show Spectator - Lewis Arquette
Fern City Show Judge - Dany Canino
Dr. Theodore W. Millbank, III - Bob Balaban
Fishin' Hole Guy - Will Sasso
Fishin' Hole Guy - Stephen E. Miller
Harlan Pepper - Christopher Guest
Stefan Vanderhoof - Michael McKean
Scott Donlan - John Michael Higgins
New York Butcher - Colin Cunningham
Scott's Wild Date - Jehshua Barnes
Leslie Ward Cabot - Patrick Cranshaw
Sherri Ann Cabot - Jennifer Coolidge
Graham Chissolm - Don Lake
Winky's Party Guest - Scott Williamson
Winky's Party Guest - Deborah Theaker
Winky's Party Guest - Rachael Harris
Christy Cummings - Jane Lynch
Airport Passerby - Fulvio Cecere
Fay Berman - Linda Kash
Max Berman - Larry Miller
Hotel Manager - Ed Begley Jr.
Zach Berman (as Cody Gregg) - Cody Greg
Philly AM Host - Teryl Rothery
Philly AM Chef - Tony Alcantar
Philly AM Assistant - Camille Sullivan
Philly AM Host - Dave Cameron
Cabot Party Guest - Lynda Boyd
Cabot Party Guest - Madeleine Kipling
Cabot Party Guest - Merrilyn Gann
Cabot Party Guest - Andrew Johnston
Malcolm - Malcolm Stewart
Leslie's Nurse - Jay-Lyn Green
Buck Laughlin - Fred Willard
Trevor Beckwith - Jim Piddock
Mayflower Hound Judge - Earlene Luke
Taft Hotel Maid - Carmen Aguirre
Mayflower Toy Judge - Harold Pybus
Pet Shop Owner - Hiro Kanagawa
Mayflower Terrier Judge - Cleo A. Laxton
Mayflower Sporting Judge - Corrine Koslo
Mayflower Ring Steward - Andrew Wheeler
Mayflower Non-Sporting Judge - Don Emslie
Mayflower Best in Show Judge - Don S. Davis
'American Bitch' Photo Editor - Melanie Angel
Terry the Photographer - Doane Gregory
'Beatrice' the Weimaraner - Can. Ch. Arokat's Echobar Take Me Dancing
'Winky' the Norwich Terrier - Can. Ch. Urchin's Bryllo
'Hubert' the Bloodhound - Ch. Quiet Creek's Stand By Me
'Miss Agnes' the Shih Tzu - Can. Ch. Raptures Classic
'Tyrone' the Shih Tzu - Can. Ch. Symarun's Red Hot Kisses
Rhapsody in White the Standard Poodle - Brocade Exclamation
Rhapsody in White the Standard Poodle - Can. Ch. Exxel Dezi Duz It With Pizaz
Jack (scenes deleted) - Fred Keating
Bartender (scenes deleted) - Peter Kelamis
Beauty Salon Transvestite (scenes deleted) - Patrick Stark
Dog Grommer - Greg Anthony
Recording Engineer - Steven Pollard