You're a dick, Ted!

50 Year Old Bill:
Oh, hello! 50 Year Old Ted:
We totally forgot you were coming. How great to see you. Ted:
What are you talking about? You totally ran away from us. 50 Year Old Bill:
Look, guys, we know exactly what you're thinking. Why would we be playing Open Mic Night at 6:15 p.m. when, I fact, we have become such huge rock stars again. Bill:
Yeah. 50 Year Old Ted:
Here's the answer. Us being here is humorously ironic. 50 Year Old Bill:
Do you believe us? Ted:
No. Bill:
Not at all. 50 Year Old Ted:
Well, I feel sorry for you, then. Bill:
Dude, I think we came to early. These other us's don't have the song. 50 Year Old Ted:
Why don't you go write it for yourselves instead of trying to steal it from us? Ted:
You're the one who couldn't write it, Ted. 50 Year Old Ted:
Well, You're the one who lost his wife, Ted. Ted, Bill:
What? Bill:
What are you talking about? 50 Year Old Bill:
Here's what happened, Bill. After you failed couples therapy, Liz and Jo were visited by other thems from the future who gave them a phone booth and sent them all through time and space looking for just one life where they could be happy with you! 50 Year Old Ted:
And guess what? 50 Year Old Bill, 50 Year Old Ted:
They didn't find one! 50 Year Old Bill:
And now we've been alone for two years 'cause you sent Our wives away. Ted, Bill:
No way. 50 Year Old Bill, 50 Year Old Ted:
Yes way! Ted:
Our wives have been gone for two years and you didn't do anything about it? 50 Year Old Bill:
Oh, you did, all right. You went back and made it worse! 50 Year Old Ted:
And guess what else? Your daughters won't even talk to you. Bill:
What? Ted:
You're a dick, Ted!