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I just started fucking my face with it
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Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill

I just started fucking my face with it, I've never cut my wrists, but I started cutting my...

I just started fucking my face with it, I've never cut my wrists, but I started cutting my mouth
on the inside with chips

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.669
I just started fucking my face with it,
00:00:03.752 --> 00:00:06.338
I've never cut my wrists,
00:00:06.422 --> 00:00:10.426
but I started cutting my mouth on the inside with chips.
Duration
11 seconds
Views
30
Timestamp in Movie
00:55:24
Uploaded
Mar 28, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Bill Burr shares the stage with his favorite comedians.
I became a cutter on the inside, just... [loud gag] - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:08
I became a cutter on the inside, just... [loud gag]
If you Google me, Zillow will come up, I was a fucking house. - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:05
If you Google me, Zillow will come up, I was a fucking house...
So, I was like, "I need to do something." So I joined Weight Watchers, - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:10
So, I was like, "I need to do something." So I joi...
I lie on my own app, and I'm the only one that sees it. - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:06
I lie on my own app, and I'm the only one that sees it.
The other day, I had a pint of ice cream, and I wrote down "one baby carrot." - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:11
The other day, I had a pint of ice cream, and I wrote down &...
It was amazing, like, fat camp was the best time of my life. - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:06
It was amazing, like, fat camp was the best time of my life.
Every summer I was like, "I want to go to fat camp!" - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:20
Every summer I was like, "I want to go to fat camp!&quo...
"I wanna go..." I just peed. - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:05
"I wanna go..." I just peed.
Anyway, so, fat camp was fun. - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:06
Anyway, so, fat camp was fun.
We used to play a lot of fun games, - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:12
We used to play a lot of fun games,
Try-to-hide-and-seek was great, - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:09
Try-to-hide-and-seek was great,
I have four daughters from two baby mamas. - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:05
I have four daughters from two baby mamas.
I'm like a fucking rapper, I call myself "Lil Jew." - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:11
I'm like a fucking rapper, I call myself "Lil Jew....
Were they planned?" I think it's the dumbest question - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:11
Were they planned?" I think it's the dumbest quest...
I'm like, "No, I wasn't wearing protection, - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:11
I'm like, "No, I wasn't wearing protection,
Jesus." - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:11
Jesus."
Religious people, some of them say that gay people try to make their kids gay. - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:07
Religious people, some of them say that gay people try to ma...
That we, you know, we want them to be gay. - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:05
That we, you know, we want them to be gay.
And I hate to admit that, at this show right now with this taping, - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:07
And I hate to admit that, at this show right now with this t...
That is the only reason I agreed to have children, was to create four big dykes. - Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill 00:07
That is the only reason I agreed to have children, was to cr...