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I thought I would spend my whole life
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Bite Me

I thought I would spendmy whole life trying to prove to my mom thatI'm a better man than...

I thought I would spend
my whole life trying to prove to my mom that
I'm a better man than he is

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.868
I thought I would spend my whole life
00:00:02.901 --> 00:00:05.371
trying to prove to my mom that I'm a better man than he is.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
24
Timestamp in Movie
00:42:00
Uploaded
Jun 18, 2025
Genres
comedy, romance
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

When Sarah, a real-life vampire, gets audited, the last thing she expects is a date. But an unlikely spark with IRS agent, James, forces two misfits to confront whether they have the courage to commit the radical act of falling in...
Just because you have no regard for the sanctity of marriage, - Bite Me 00:14
Just because you have no regard for the sanctity of marriage...
But this is my home, it is sacred. - Bite Me 00:04
But this is my home, it is sacred.
I'd like her to be gone by the time I'm out. - Bite Me 00:04
I'd like her to be gone by the time I'm out.
To have people stare at me - Bite Me 00:04
To have people stare at me
It's like telling a man with a small penis how big it is, - Bite Me 00:06
It's like telling a man with a small penis how big it i...
That first night, by the subway, - Bite Me 00:05
That first night, by the subway,
I had this, it was so real, - Bite Me 00:05
I had this, it was so real,
I know, I wasn't gonna say anything - Bite Me 00:06
I know, I wasn't gonna say anything
Until your audit case is closed you just probably can't stay - Bite Me 00:04
Until your audit case is closed you just probably can't...
My parents don't talk to me anymore - Bite Me 00:05
My parents don't talk to me anymore
Junior year in high school. - Bite Me 00:04
Junior year in high school.
Wasn't pretty or funny or loud, I just was... - Bite Me 00:07
Wasn't pretty or funny or loud, I just was...
But there was this boy, Kyle. - Bite Me 00:04
But there was this boy, Kyle.
A lot of the girls were in love with him, but I was his friend. - Bite Me 00:05
A lot of the girls were in love with him, but I was his frie...
And so for two years I'd watch him date other girls - Bite Me 00:08
And so for two years I'd watch him date other girls
And I waited, knowing that eventually - Bite Me 00:06
And I waited, knowing that eventually
So this one day in drama class we were playing - Bite Me 00:13
So this one day in drama class we were playing
So the game went on and they found everybody except me. - Bite Me 00:04
So the game went on and they found everybody except me.
And then they started celebrating because everyone, - Bite Me 00:13
And then they started celebrating because everyone,
So on my 16th birthday I got my driver's license, - Bite Me 00:10
So on my 16th birthday I got my driver's license,