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Blackball

A rebellious young British bowls player teams with another older and more traditional player to take on the Australian bowls team.

Director

Mel Smith

Year

Genre

comedy, drama, sport

Box Office

$48,000

Production

Midfield Films

Awards

N/A

Cliff

Ray

Kerry

Mutley

Bernard Cribbins

Trevor

Rick

Bridget

Imelda Staunton

Alan the Pipe

Giles Wilton

Hugh The Sideburns

Chairman Collins

Kenneth Cranham

Bouncer Jonno

Local News Reporter

Gate Guard

Reporter Dave

OAP #1

Self

Kyle Doohan

The Cleaner

MTV Awards Stunt Guy

Bowls Official

Christopher Godwin

Reg Boyt

The Kangaroo Mascot

Dull Referee

Mark Doohan

Self

Targitex Chairman

Suzi

Meredith MacNeill

Brian Cronk

Geoffrey McGivern

Astronomer

Felicity Montagu

The Advert Director

The Lion Mascot

Henna Haired PA

Vicki Pepperdine

Dennis

Journalist #1

Young Buck Reporter

David Schneider

Fifty-year Old Lady

Marlene Sidaway

Flash Referee

Self

Journalist #2

Secretary

Jess-Luisa Flynn

TV Director

View All Cast

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Explore 337 Clips

Cliff Trevor Trevor

-CREW: Bad Boy, Diet Coke, three, take 12.
-(CLAPS) - Blackball

-CREW: Bad Boy, Diet Coke, three, take 12. -(CLAPS)

That's when the tingle of great taste will
leap out of the can and bowl you over. - Blackball

That's when the tingle of great taste will leap out of ...

-Bad Boy, Diet Coke, three, take 14.
-(CLAPS) - Blackball

-Bad Boy, Diet Coke, three, take 14. -(CLAPS)

(BELL RINGS) - Blackball

-The Bad Boy himself, Mr. Cliff Starkey.
-(CREW APPLAUDS) - Blackball

-The Bad Boy himself, Mr. Cliff Starkey. -(CREW APPLAUDS)

-Come on!
-(CREW CHEERS WEAKLY) - Blackball

-Come on! -(CREW CHEERS WEAKLY)

Come on! (CHUCKLES) - Blackball

Come on! (CHUCKLES)

Just 'cause he likes having you around - Blackball

Just 'cause he likes having you around

-(CHUCKLES)
-(GASPS) - Blackball

-(CHUCKLES) -(GASPS)

And three hours ago, UK Sportsnet - Blackball

And three hours ago, UK Sportsnet

As soon as you can guarantee
Cliff Starkey plays for England, - Blackball

As soon as you can guarantee Cliff Starkey plays for England...

Bloody Speight - Blackball

Plus, Targitex Sportswear's just raised
to 2.9 for the sponsorship deal. - Blackball

Plus, Targitex Sportswear's just raised to 2.9 for the ...

Guys, every time this kid receives
press coverage, - Blackball

Guys, every time this kid receives press coverage,

And believe me when I tell you, - Blackball

And believe me when I tell you,

Slip it in! Good lad, nice and easy.
Move in and... - Blackball

Slip it in! Good lad, nice and easy. Move in and...

-I can't. I can't do it.
-Oh, for God's sake. - Blackball

-I can't. I can't do it. -Oh, for God's sake.

It's a close thing,
but I'd rather be watching Man City - Blackball

It's a close thing, but I'd rather be watching Man...

(MUTTERING) - Blackball

If it's any easier, stop calling me "mate"
and use "employee." - Blackball

If it's any easier, stop calling me "mate" an...

Thank you for letting me sit on my arse
while you have a shag. - Blackball

Thank you for letting me sit on my arse while you have a sha...

-Shut up.
-For letting 'em tell me - Blackball

-Shut up. -For letting 'em tell me

Thanks for letting 'em call me
a "fat fucking Butterball". - Blackball

Thanks for letting 'em call me a "fat fucking Butt...

But funny thing is, next time
I fancy a holiday, - Blackball

But funny thing is, next time I fancy a holiday,

I got to open up a fizzy can of pop,
right, to the sound of a bell dinging. - Blackball

I got to open up a fizzy can of pop, right, to the sound of ...

(STRUGGLING) - Blackball

My speech tonight was originally going
to concern the history of our noble game. - Blackball

My speech tonight was originally going to concern the histor...

GILES: We're gonna go down in history
as the men who killed bowls. - Blackball

GILES: We're gonna go down in history as the men who ki...

Where restraint and self-control
are the jewels in our crown. - Blackball

Where restraint and self-control are the jewels in our crown...

And this we must remember now, - Blackball

And this we must remember now,

The indiscipline and bad language
of this... - Blackball

The indiscipline and bad language of this...

And in a dramatic new twist,
"Bad Boy of Bowls" Cliff Starkey - Blackball

And in a dramatic new twist, "Bad Boy of Bowls" Cl...

His 15-year ban has been converted
to a two-week suspension. - Blackball

His 15-year ban has been converted to a two-week suspension.

Come on. What are you waiting for?
Warm up, once round the pitch. - Blackball

Come on. What are you waiting for? Warm up, once round the p...

(REPORTERS CLAMORING) - Blackball

(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

But we felt that his actions may lately
have been clouded - Blackball

But we felt that his actions may lately have been clouded

-Mmm.
-(MURMURING) - Blackball

-Mmm. -(MURMURING)

(CHEERING) - Blackball

Look who's in the neighborhood! - Blackball

Look who's in the neighborhood!

(LAUGHING) - Blackball

(LAUGHS) - Blackball

Champagne? That'll be Rick. (CHUCKLES) - Blackball

Champagne? That'll be Rick. (CHUCKLES)

Teaching all those snobby-arsed girls - Blackball

Teaching all those snobby-arsed girls

Thanks to my dad, in fact, who saw
the photos and embarrassed himself. - Blackball

Thanks to my dad, in fact, who saw the photos and embarrasse...

I am so sorry I didn't send him
some flowers, - Blackball

I am so sorry I didn't send him some flowers,

If you hadn't been banned,
you wouldn't even be a celebrity. - Blackball

If you hadn't been banned, you wouldn't even be a ...

Okay. Off you go, go on. Back in line.
Daddy's little princess. - Blackball

Okay. Off you go, go on. Back in line. Daddy's little p...

# Land of hope and glory # - Blackball

# Land of hope and glory #

He's torn ligaments in his knees,
so he'll be on crutches for quite a while. - Blackball

He's torn ligaments in his knees, so he'll be on c...

He got a call saying some American
wanted it a week early. - Blackball

He got a call saying some American wanted it a week early.

-Right.
-And of course, - Blackball

-Right. -And of course,

-(CLAMORING)
-(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING) - Blackball

-(CLAMORING) -(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)

You guys get to see one more trick.
What do you wanna see? - Blackball

You guys get to see one more trick. What do you wanna see?

It's fantastic. It's from the...
(STAMMERS) - Blackball

It's fantastic. It's from the... (STAMMERS)

Yeah. (LAUGHS) - Blackball

You phone me up and tell me that
Cliff wants to apologize. - Blackball

You phone me up and tell me that Cliff wants to apologize.

The problem with stars is that about now, - Blackball

The problem with stars is that about now,

And the things that they were very,
very close to - Blackball

And the things that they were very, very close to

Agents like you to do their fucking
shitty business for them. - Blackball

Agents like you to do their fucking shitty business for them...

You're not understanding the media coup - Blackball

You're not understanding the media coup

So why don't you go ahead and let me
tell you once again exactly - Blackball

So why don't you go ahead and let me tell you once agai...

Tell me, did you sleep with Ray Speight's
daughter just to wind him up? - Blackball

Tell me, did you sleep with Ray Speight's daughter just...

Just 'cause you're an ugly bastard, right, - Blackball

Just 'cause you're an ugly bastard, right,

Well, I've never been, like,
a great believer in training, as such. - Blackball

Well, I've never been, like, a great believer in traini...

Oh, what, the didgeri-Doohan brothers?
(LAUGHS) - Blackball

Oh, what, the didgeri-Doohan brothers? (LAUGHS)

Cliff, can I ask - Blackball

Cliff, can I ask

Or are you actually the kind of twat - Blackball

Or are you actually the kind of twat

COLLINS: Could we have a question
from Derek - Blackball

COLLINS: Could we have a question from Derek

RICK: Whoa, tiger! (GROWLS) - Blackball

RICK: Whoa, tiger! (GROWLS)

Who do people from England,
in their fucking guts, - Blackball

Who do people from England, in their fucking guts,

Now, in the whole world, who is
the one man I would team you with? - Blackball

Now, in the whole world, who is the one man I would team you...

Cliff, I know I can be
a bit of a bad boy, too, - Blackball

Cliff, I know I can be a bit of a bad boy, too,

Six paces between here and that door,
I want you to think about one thing, okay? - Blackball

Six paces between here and that door, I want you to think ab...

We have a very, very short season
to gather our nuts. - Blackball

We have a very, very short season to gather our nuts.

And seriously, - Blackball

One, two, three, - Blackball

One, two, three,

You have no idea.
In The History of Stupid Things, - Blackball

You have no idea. In The History of Stupid Things,

One itsy-bitsy - Blackball

-(SHOUTING)
-(SCREAMING) - Blackball

-(SHOUTING) -(SCREAMING)

They were, um, taking on
extra staff for the - Blackball

They were, um, taking on extra staff for the

Bowls. (LAUGHS) - Blackball

Bowls. (LAUGHS)

-I fired him. I fired him.
-SNOW: In Torquay, Cliff Starkey, - Blackball

-I fired him. I fired him. -SNOW: In Torquay, Cliff Starkey,

CLIFF: I will concede the entire match - Blackball

CLIFF: I will concede the entire match

Drown, you buggers!
Who's laughing now then, eh? - Blackball

Drown, you buggers! Who's laughing now then, eh?

(INAUDIBLE) - Blackball

GILES: Plan B? What do you mean, "plan B"?
There can't be a plan B. - Blackball

GILES: Plan B? What do you mean, "plan B"? There c...

ALAN: Bloody hell! First we twist
every rule in the book to get him out, - Blackball

ALAN: Bloody hell! First we twist every rule in the book to ...

Ray! We checked the rule book,
and you can say the word "wanker." - Blackball

Ray! We checked the rule book, and you can say the word &quo...

All right, don't talk to me, Ray.
What do I know, anyway? - Blackball

All right, don't talk to me, Ray. What do I know, anywa...

It's funny the way it happens,
isn't it, Ray? In life? - Blackball

It's funny the way it happens, isn't it, Ray? In l...

Blackball poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

A rebellious young British bowls player teams with another older and more traditional player to take on the Australian bowls team.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Mel Smith

Writer: Tim Firth

Production: Midfield Films

Genre: comedy, drama, sport

Year: 2003

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 5.6

BoxOffice: $48,000

Released: 05 Sep 2003

Awards: N/A

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