This guy's mother-in-law comes to live with them, and she's been living there for about a...
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Jeff Foxworthy: This guy's mother-in-law comes to live with them, and she's been living there for about a week, and he comes home one day and she's laying on the floor, and he calls 911 and the ambulance comes and gets her and they take her to the hospital. And he's out in the waiting room, and the doctor comes out after a while, and the doctor said "Well, I've got some good news and some bad news." The guy said "Well, all right, give me the bad news first." He goes "All right. Your mother-in-law is not gonna die." He said "She's had a massive stroke." He said "In fact, she's probably gonna live twenty or thirty more years." He said "The... the problem is this thing has rendered her unable to speak." He said "She just makes this horrible screeching noise like a parrot now." He said "It's also disabled her from using her arms, and she can't feed herself." He said "For the next twenty or thirty years, you're gonna have to feed her baby food three times a day." He said "Also, it's made her incontinent. You're gonna have to change her diapers and clean her up every single day of your life." The guy said "Oh, my god." He said "What's the good news?", and the doctor just goes "I'm just kidding with you. She died."
Full Transcript
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take this long sorry
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This feller goes hunting with his buddy and he got the scope up
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and he goes ''Oh my Lord
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''l can see your house from here and your wife's cheating on you
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''with another feller '' He says ''l've had it with her ''
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''Shoot her in the head and shoot him in the private parts ''
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And he said ''l'll get that in one shot ''
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l got to admit the preacher told me that last week
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This guy's mother in law comes to live with him
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And she's been living there for about a week
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And he comes home one day and she's laying on the floor
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And he calls 91 1 and the ambulance comes and gets her
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and they take her to the hospital and he's out in the waiting room
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and the doctor comes out after a while and the doctor said
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''Well l got some good news and some bad news ''
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Guy said ''All right well give me the bad news first ''
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He goes ''All right Your mother in law is not gonna die ''
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He said ''She's had a massive stroke ''
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He said ''ln fact she's probably gonna live 20 or 30 more years ''
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He said ''The problem is this thing has rendered her unable to speak ''
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He said ''She just makes this horrible screeching noise like a parrot now ''
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He said ''lt's also
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''disabled her from using her arms and she can't feed herself ''
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He said ''For the next 20 or 30 years
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''you're gonna have to feed her baby food three times a day ''
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He said ''Also it's made her incontinent
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''You're going to have to change her diapers
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''and clean her up every single day of your life ''
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And the guy said ''Oh my God '' he said ''What's the good news ''
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And the doctor goes ''l'm just kidding with you she died ''
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Movie Summary
Bill Engvall, Ron "Tater Salad" White, Jeff Foxworthy, and Larry the Cable Guy return on-stage to give some funny redneck laughs and humorous spins on everyday affairs.
