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Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

Bob Saget declares himself the last TV father viewers can trust in his hour of stories and songs.

Director

Jay Chapman

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N/A

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Comedy Dynamics

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So what I'm telling you - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

So what I'm telling you

-That's what I'm telling you.
-[laughter and applause] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-That's what I'm telling you. -[laughter and appla...

[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

And when you watch an icon fall--

And he now claims
that he is legally blind - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

And he now claims that he is legally blind

But if you say that,
isn't that like saying - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

But if you say that, isn't that like saying

If I was blind,
I could definitely identify - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

If I was blind, I could definitely identify

Oh, she's got a fever." - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

Oh, she's got a fever."

[laughter and applause] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

[laughter and applause]

Especially if you have children.
I have three beautiful children. - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

Especially if you have children. I have three beautiful chil...

They're all old now.
They're 85, 72-- - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

They're all old now. They're 85, 72--

I was in love with one girl
for 25 years - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

I was in love with one girl for 25 years

It's just fantastic.
It's just-- - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

It's just fantastic. It's just--

Hey, I apologize,
I don't want to offend - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

Hey, I apologize, I don't want to offend

[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

But, actually,
I did meet a woman - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

But, actually, I did meet a woman

-Um...
-[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-Um... -[laughter]

I think I lost my mojo." - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

I think I lost my mojo."

She's a woman.
She's, uh-- - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

She's a woman. She's, uh--

I had to duct tape
my butthole shut. - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

I had to duct tape my butthole shut.

I didn't haveto,
I just liked it. - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

I didn't haveto, I just liked it.

But this wonderful woman...
[laughs] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

But this wonderful woman... [laughs]

[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-[women cheering]
-You just leave here-- - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-[women cheering] -You just leave here--

"I had sex with a guy,
I'm not sure about him, - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

"I had sex with a guy, I'm not sure about him,

Unless I sell it to you and it's got my brand.

That's my merch.
I sell "day-after pills." - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

That's my merch. I sell "day-after pills."

[scattered cheers and applause] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

[scattered cheers and applause]

We're zombies in love. - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

We're zombies in love.

Love's important.
I mean, that's why I-- - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

Love's important. I mean, that's why I--

For ten years, um,
I was pretty lonely, - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

For ten years, um, I was pretty lonely,

I worked in a strip club
once in Anchorage - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

I worked in a strip club once in Anchorage

[as Jay]
Hey, you gotta go to-- - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

[as Jay] Hey, you gotta go to--

[as Jay]
You gotta go to this strip club, - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

[as Jay] You gotta go to this strip club,

There's a stripper on stage - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

There's a stripper on stage

She's got little
Easy Bake Oven pie pans - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

She's got little Easy Bake Oven pie pans

-Really?
-[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-Really? -[laughter]

-You have to--
-[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-You have to-- -[laughter]

-Give him a round of applause.
-[cheers and applause] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-Give him a round of applause. -[cheers and applause]

For the purposes
of this fucking special, - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

For the purposes of this fucking special,

-I can't make fun of you.
-[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-I can't make fun of you. -[laughter]

He would talk to an audience.
He taught me - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

He would talk to an audience. He taught me

You will be, but, um--
when I bring you up here - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

You will be, but, um-- when I bring you up here

And I hit your bare buttocks - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

And I hit your bare buttocks

I'm not gonna do that.
I don't wanna see his buttocks. - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

I'm not gonna do that. I don't wanna see his butto...

-I wanna see his back. Um--
-[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-I wanna see his back. Um-- -[laughter]

But Don, I directed
in the movie Dirty Work - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

But Don, I directed in the movie Dirty Work

[cheers and applause] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

[cheers and applause]

[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

But, Sanyo,
you made me think of him - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

But, Sanyo, you made me think of him

I didn't grow up and say, "Hey,
that's gonna be my stage name." - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

I didn't grow up and say, "Hey, that's gonna ...

[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-I got out of gym.
-[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-I got out of gym. -[laughter]

[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

That's a good place to hide out.
Nobody wants to go there. - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

That's a good place to hide out. Nobody wants to go the...

Okay, I'm 24 years old--
everything bad happened at 24 - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

Okay, I'm 24 years old-- everything bad happened at 24

Uh, the Cleveland Comedy Club--
this is not gonna go well - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

Uh, the Cleveland Comedy Club-- this is not gonna go well

It's now the parking lot
of a stadium, - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

It's now the parking lot of a stadium,

So it's like,
"Remove the dead chickens, - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

So it's like, "Remove the dead chickens,

And so there I was,
and, um, at that time - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

And so there I was, and, um, at that time

No, 'cause they don't--
You're going "yeah"? - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

No, 'cause they don't-- You're going "ye...

-[sighs]
-[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-[sighs] -[laughter]

I'm against it.
I'm telling you people - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

I'm against it. I'm telling you people

It's Jonah Hill
and Leo DiCaprio and it's like, - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

It's Jonah Hill and Leo DiCaprio and it's like,

-When I'm alone.
-[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-When I'm alone. -[laughter]

So the club owner at the club
in Cleveland - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

So the club owner at the club in Cleveland

And he says, "Trust me."
And I had to stay-- - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

And he says, "Trust me." And I had to stay--

It's just you and me
and all of the people. - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

It's just you and me and all of the people.

Anyway, end of the story,
is the rat gone? - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

Anyway, end of the story, is the rat gone?

-[laughter]
-...a rat on the pavement! - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-[laughter] -...a rat on the pavement!

-Are you on a Lude?
-[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-Are you on a Lude? -[laughter]

I'm staying at this
shitty, little place, - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

I'm staying at this shitty, little place,

And this is a true story
and it makes me feel bad - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

And this is a true story and it makes me feel bad

I'm going to classes.
So--[chuckles] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

I'm going to classes. So--[chuckles]

Where he bit the head
off a fish? - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

Where he bit the head off a fish?

She looked like that
and, so, she comes upstairs, - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

She looked like that and, so, she comes upstairs,

I got two Ludes in my pocket
and she's like, - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

I got two Ludes in my pocket and she's like,

And then, [deep voice]
"I wanna have sex with you." - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

And then, [deep voice] "I wanna have sex with you."...

-I roofied myself.
-[laughter] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-I roofied myself. -[laughter]

And then an hour later,
she comes back, - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

And then an hour later, she comes back,

This is gross.
Her breath at this point, - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

This is gross. Her breath at this point,

And I woke up in the morning,
and I don't know, - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

And I woke up in the morning, and I don't know,

I think she stuck like
a four-hour Duraflame log - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

I think she stuck like a four-hour Duraflame log

[laughs] - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

And when--even at that time,
when I was starting out, - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

And when--even at that time, when I was starting out,

I became friends
with Rodney Dangerfield - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

I became friends with Rodney Dangerfield

-[cheers and applause]
-And see, you know him, - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

-[cheers and applause] -And see, you know him,

[normal] I was actually
in a hospital room with him - Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty

[normal] I was actually in a hospital room with him

Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Bob Saget declares himself the last TV father viewers can trust in his hour of stories and songs.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Jay Chapman

Writer: N/A

Production: Comedy Dynamics

Genre: comedy

Year: 2017

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 6.2

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 14 Nov 2017

Awards: N/A

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