Dirk:
Look, man, all we need is the tapes, all right?
Record Producer:
No, you don't get the tapes until you've paid.
Dirk:
In our situation, that doesn't make any fucking sense.
Reed Rothchild:
Look, we can not pay for the tapes, unless we take the tapes to the record company, and get paid.
Dirk:
Hello? Exactly.
Record Producer:
That's not an MP, that's a YP, your problem. Come up with the money, or forget it.
Reed Rothchild:
Okay, now you're talking above my head. I don't know all of this industry jargon, YP, MP. All I know is that I can't get a record contract, we cannot get a record contract unless we take those tapes to the record company. And granted, the tapes themselves are a uh um oh, you own them, all right, but the magic that is on those tapes. That fucking heart and soul that we put onto those tapes, that is ours and you don't own that. Now I need to take that magic and get it over the record company. And they're waiting for us, we were supposed to be there a half hour ago. We look like assholes, man.
Dirk:
Let me explain to him in simple arithmetic. One, two three! Because you don't fuckin' get it, Burt! You give us the tapes. We get the record contract. We come back and give you your fuckin' money. Have you heard the tapes? Have you even heard them? We're guaranteed a record deal. Our stuff is that good!
Record Producer:
Now I get it. Now I understand. You want it to happen... but it's not going to happen. Because it's a Catch-22.
Dirk:
What the fuck does that mean? What is a Catch-22, Burt?
Record Producer:
Catch-22, gentleman. Think about it.
[pause]
Dirk:
You know what I'm thinking about, man? I'm thinking about kicking some fuckin' ass!
00:00:00.122 --> 00:00:02.832
Don't try--
-Hold on. Come on, come on, all right?
00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:05.209
All we need is the tapes, Burt.
00:00:05.377 --> 00:00:07.754
No. You don't get them until you pay.
00:00:07.921 --> 00:00:10.423
In our situation,
that doesn't make any fucking sense!
00:00:10.591 --> 00:00:12.967
Wait. We can't pay
the price of the demo tapes...
00:00:13.135 --> 00:00:16.596
...unless we take the demo tapes
to the record company and get paid!
00:00:16.764 --> 00:00:18.806
Hello? Exactly.
00:00:19.183 --> 00:00:23.998
That's not an MP.
That's a YP. "Your problem."
00:00:23.187 --> 00:00:26.998
Come up with the money
and l'll give you the tapes. That's it.
00:00:26.019 --> 00:00:29.065
Okay, now you're talking above my head.
I don't know this industry jargon.
00:00:29.818 --> 00:00:31.194
YP, MP. Whatever, okay?
00:00:31.361 --> 00:00:33.946
All I know is that
I cannot get a record contract--
00:00:34.114 --> 00:00:37.325
We cannot get a record contract
unless l take these tapes--
00:00:37.493 --> 00:00:39.494
And granted,
the tapes themselves are your--
00:00:39.661 --> 00:00:42.538
Are your busi-- Are your--
You own them, okay?
00:00:42.706 --> 00:00:46.375
But the magic that is on the tapes,
that fucking heart and soul...
00:00:46.543 --> 00:00:49.837
...that we put into those tapes,
that is ours, and you don't own that.
00:00:50.026 --> 00:00:53.382
Now, l need to take that magic
and get it to the record company.
00:00:53.055 --> 00:00:56.427
They're waiting. We were supposed
to be there a half-hour ago.
00:00:56.595 --> 00:00:59.722
We look like assholes right now, man.
00:01:06.188 --> 00:01:10.001
I don't wanna do this anymore, honey.
I can't. l just-- Let's have fun now.
00:01:10.999 --> 00:01:13.001
Let's just go and go and go,
because it's over.
00:01:13.946 --> 00:01:17.999
There's too many things. Too many things.
Too many things. Too many things.
00:01:17.908 --> 00:01:20.999
-Okay.
-Let's go walk.
00:01:20.744 --> 00:01:23.871
-l don't wanna leave this room.
-Me either.
00:01:24.706 --> 00:01:26.123
I love you, honey.
00:01:26.291 --> 00:01:28.003
-l love you, Mom.
00:01:28.252 --> 00:01:32.001
Let me explain to him in simple arithmetic.
One, two, three.
00:01:32.589 --> 00:01:36.592
Because you don't fucking get it, Burt.
You give us the tapes.
00:01:36.001 --> 00:01:40.221
We get the record contract. We come back
and give you your fucking money.
00:01:40.389 --> 00:01:42.473
Have you heard the tapes?
Have you heard them?
00:01:42.001 --> 00:01:45.184
We're guaranteed a record deal.
Our stuff is that good!
00:01:45.352 --> 00:01:48.312
Okay, now l got it. l got it.
Now I understand.
00:01:48.048 --> 00:01:51.941
I know you want it to happen,
but it's not gonna happen...
00:01:52.999 --> 00:01:55.194
...because it's a Catch-22, and that's it.
00:01:55.999 --> 00:01:57.905
What the fuck does that mean?
What is a Catch-22, Burt?
00:01:58.993 --> 00:02:00.908
-Aah.
-Twenty-two, gentlemen. Think about it.
00:02:02.578 --> 00:02:04.001
-You know what l'm thinking about, man?
-No, Dirk!
00:02:04.083 --> 00:02:07.001
I'm thinking about
kicking some fucking ass in here!
00:02:07.583 --> 00:02:09.000
Scotty, get him out of here.
00:02:09.167 --> 00:02:12.999
Thanks a lot for backing us up too.
Real good.
00:02:13.964 --> 00:02:15.172
Fuck.
00:02:19.678 --> 00:02:22.002
-Mr. Swope.
- Yes.
00:02:23.999 --> 00:02:24.999
We can't help you.
00:02:27.001 --> 00:02:31.999
I have all the papers, though.
I mean, every-- Everything's in order, yes?
00:02:31.773 --> 00:02:35.001
Yes, yes, but we can't give you a loan.
I'm sorry.
00:02:36.992 --> 00:02:37.999
-Why?
-l don't understand. Why?
00:02:37.613 --> 00:02:39.322
Yeah, why can't you give me the loan?
00:02:41.999 --> 00:02:43.999
Mr. Swope, you're a pornographer.
00:02:43.999 --> 00:02:45.953
This bank is not in business
to support pornography.
00:02:46.001 --> 00:02:48.999
Okay, l'm not a pornographer, though.
I'm an actor.
00:02:49.997 --> 00:02:50.708
-l'm sorry.
-Please, please.
00:02:50.876 --> 00:02:54.999
Now, this is a new business for me.
00:02:54.999 --> 00:03:00.999
All right? lt's a real thing that l wanna do.
It's a real thing that I can do. Please.
00:03:01.996 --> 00:03:02.929
-l'm sorry.
-Well, we did everything right.
00:03:03.004 --> 00:03:05.001
Okay, honey, it's okay.
Just wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:03:05.999 --> 00:03:08.476
Now, let's just take a minute, okay?
Um....
00:03:09.001 --> 00:03:12.999
Look, you have something to say.
I have something to say, all right?
00:03:12.999 --> 00:03:14.069
So let's just talk, okay?
00:03:14.858 --> 00:03:18.987
If there is something
that I didn't fill out correctly on this...
00:03:18.999 --> 00:03:21.001
...or if there is something l left out,
or maybe you want me to write on there...
00:03:22.001 --> 00:03:25.993
...just tell me what to write on there.
I'll write it on there.
00:03:25.369 --> 00:03:27.161
I'm sorry.
00:03:29.999 --> 00:03:32.917
You're not being fair. This isn't fair.
00:03:33.008 --> 00:03:36.999
This financial institution
cannot endorse pornography.
00:03:36.505 --> 00:03:38.923
Stop saying that!
Will you quit saying "pornography"?
00:03:39.008 --> 00:03:43.999
-Why are you doing this to me?
-Please. Now, please. I'm sorry.
00:03:45.001 --> 00:03:49.999
I'm an-- l am an ac-- I am an actor.
00:03:53.999 --> 00:03:54.999
Come on.