My son is engaged and my husband is in Maui with a tartlet named Cheryl. Oh. I need a...

[Sharon enters the house]
Sharon: My son is engaged and my husband is in Maui with a tartlet named Cheryl.
Diane: Oh.
Sharon: I need a drink.
Carol: Your 'husband'?
Diane: You can't possibly still care about what Tom is doing.
Sharon: I don't care. But the guy gets seasick in a swimming pool. I mean, what the hell is he doing in Maui?
Vivian: Sounds like he's doing Cheryl in Maui.
Sharon: Oh, please. Who gets involved in a relationship at 67? I mean, what is the point?
Vivian: Oh, the point is to get laid. It's always the point.
Sharon: Don't make me sick.
Carol: Who still says, 'get laid'?
Diane: Who still has any interest?
Vivian: Ah, no, no, no, no, no. I am not gonna let us become those people.
Diane: What people are you talking about?
Vivian: You know what people. The people who stop living before they stop living.
Sharon: I haven't had sex since my divorce, and it's been the happiest 18 years of my life.
Vivian: What? That must be some kind of... record. I mean, what even happens to a vagina after 18 years?
Diane: You know, I think Werner Herzog did a documentary on that.
Carol: Yeah. It's called The Cave of Forgotten Dreams.
[Vivian, Diane, and Carol laugh]
Sharon: Okay, will you stop it? Moving on. Let's talk about the book.
Vivian: Oh, God. The hiking book? Really?
Carol: Come on. I liked it! It's such a remarkable undertaking. Can you imagine?
Sharon: No, I cannot. I don't even like walking to my mailbox.
Carol: It's just an amazing story. I mean, so many layers. I wouldn't even know how to break it down.
Vivian: Well, I'll break it down for you. She hikes, she lost her boot, she did heroin.
Diane: Did you only read the back cover?
Vivian: [gulping her wine] I wish. I kept wanting to shout at her, 'Oh, wait ten years, honey. Dry shampoo is coming.'
Sharon: You know, if you would ever connect with something on a more emotional level...
Vivian: Emotional connection is highly overrated.
Carol: You have not had an emotional connection for 40 years.
Sharon: Wow, that must be some type of record.
Diane: Yeah, but what happens to emotions after 40 years?
Vivian: Okay, okay, are you guys having fun? Really?
Diane: Oh, come on. You know we love you.
Carol: Maybe it's time you did take a hike and try to reconnect with your own true self.
Sharon: I'll buy you a backpack.
Vivian: I'll tell you how to reconnect with your own true self...
[gets up]
Vivian: and it ain't by walking alone in the desert