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Slicker Smith:
You're 40 years-old and you're in love with this little girl that's 10 years-old. You're four times as old as that girl and you couldn't marry her, could you? Herbie Brown:
Not unless I come from the mountains. Slicker Smith:
All right- You're 40 years-old, You're four times as old as this girl, and you can't marry her, so you wait five years. By that time the little girl's 15 and you're 45. You're only three times as old as that little girl. So you wait 15 years and when the girl is 30, you're at 60. You're only twice as old as that little girl. Herbie Brown:
She's catching up. Slicker Smith:
Yes, yes. Now here's the question. How long do you have to wait until you and that little girl are the same age? Herbie Brown:
Now what kinda question is that? That's Ridiculous! Slicker Smith:
Ridiculous or not, answer the question. Herbie Brown:
If I wait for that girl she'll pass me up. She'll wind up older than I am. Slicker Smith:
What are you talking about? Herbie Brown:
She'll have to wait for me! Slicker Smith:
Why should she wait for you? Herbie Brown:
...I was nice enough to wait for her!
You're 40 years-old and you're in love with this little girl that's 10 years-old. You're four times as old as that girl and you couldn't marry her, could you? Herbie Brown:
Not unless I come from the mountains. Slicker Smith:
All right- You're 40 years-old, You're four times as old as this girl, and you can't marry her, so you wait five years. By that time the little girl's 15 and you're 45. You're only three times as old as that little girl. So you wait 15 years and when the girl is 30, you're at 60. You're only twice as old as that little girl. Herbie Brown:
She's catching up. Slicker Smith:
Yes, yes. Now here's the question. How long do you have to wait until you and that little girl are the same age? Herbie Brown:
Now what kinda question is that? That's Ridiculous! Slicker Smith:
Ridiculous or not, answer the question. Herbie Brown:
If I wait for that girl she'll pass me up. She'll wind up older than I am. Slicker Smith:
What are you talking about? Herbie Brown:
She'll have to wait for me! Slicker Smith:
Why should she wait for you? Herbie Brown:
...I was nice enough to wait for her!
Full Transcript
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Here you are
00:00:02.209 --> 00:00:03.032
There old boy
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Nah I don't eat mustard
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Mustard goes with a hot dog
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Yeah well not with mine I eat it plain
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Mustard was made for the hot dog
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Look I don't care what it's made for
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I'm not gonna eat it
00:00:10.667 --> 00:00:11.865
I don't like it Oh well that's different
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Do I have to eat something I don't like
00:00:12.834 --> 00:00:13.657
No I didn't know that
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I mean after all I don't wanna go
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around eat something that's gonna make me sick
00:00:15.917 --> 00:00:16.074
Well I didn't know that
00:00:16.075 --> 00:00:17.573
Mustard makes me sick
00:00:17.583 --> 00:00:18.407
All right then you shouldn't eat it
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I mean after all I'm a happy kid
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I got a lot to live for
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I know that Lou I don't want to walk
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around the streets sick
00:00:22.251 --> 00:00:23.002
All right now don't
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If I eat mustard and I walk around the streets sick
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I can't get a job what happens to my wife and kids
00:00:26.075 --> 00:00:27.573
What do you mean
00:00:27.583 --> 00:00:28.573
Yeah I got a wife and two children
00:00:28.583 --> 00:00:29.407
Well what about it
00:00:29.417 --> 00:00:30.824
My kids wind up in the orphan asylum
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Aw behave yourself
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You're a fine guy sendin' my kids
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to an orphan asylum
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Movie Summary
Two sidewalk salesman enlist in the army in order to avoid jail, only to find that their drill instructor is the police officer who tried having them imprisoned.

