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"Cactus Flower" quotes

Cactus Flower poster
A dentist pretends to be married to avoid commitment, but when he falls for his girlfriend and proposes, he must recruit his lovelorn nurse to pose as his wife.

Director: Gene Saks
Writer: Abe Burrows, Pierre Barillet, Jean-Pierre Grédy
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, romance
Year: 1969
MetaScore: 67/100
ImdbRating: 7.2
BoxOffice: N/A
Released: 16 Dec 1969
Awards: Won 1 Oscar. 3 wins & 6 nominations total
I'm the first decent man she's ever met - Cactus Flower 00:09 I'm the first decent man she's ever met Isn't he a marvelous dentist - Cactus Flower 00:08 Isn't he a marvelous dentist There's no such thing as a friendly kiss on the neck - Cactus Flower 00:04 There's no such thing as a friendly kiss on the neck You'll still have your wife and me - Cactus Flower 00:09 You'll still have your wife and me Isn't that the woman from the other night - Cactus Flower 00:19 Isn't that the woman from the other night It's all right if you like Horowitz - Cactus Flower 00:05 It's all right if you like Horowitz That tooth jockey - Cactus Flower 00:05 That tooth jockey Would you slip in here for a moment please - Cactus Flower 00:23 Would you slip in here for a moment please I'd rather walk on hot coals - Cactus Flower 00:06 I'd rather walk on hot coals I told everyone you had to go to your dentist - Cactus Flower 00:05 I told everyone you had to go to your dentist Dr Winston my husband said that you were most anxious to meet me - Cactus Flower 00:06 Dr Winston my husband said that you were most anxious to... I'm sorry Toni I know this is a shock for anyone - Cactus Flower 00:57 I'm sorry Toni I know this is a shock for anyone There is something else I'm going straight to the point - Cactus Flower 00:19 There is something else I'm going straight to the point I'll call the registry and have them send another nurse - Cactus Flower 00:07 I'll call the registry and have them send another nurse You want to play rough - Cactus Flower 00:08 You want to play rough You mean you spent the night with that hippie - Cactus Flower 00:12 You mean you spent the night with that hippie My cactus It's blooming Never mind that - Cactus Flower 00:07 My cactus It's blooming Never mind that I had to lie on something - Cactus Flower 00:09 I had to lie on something You know what I've done - Cactus Flower 00:13 You know what I've done They've lost me You go dance with her - Cactus Flower 00:07 They've lost me You go dance with her You're certainly blossoming out - Cactus Flower 00:11 You're certainly blossoming out Let's ignore him - Cactus Flower 00:13 Let's ignore him What have you got there - Cactus Flower 00:13 What have you got there Let me try to help you - Cactus Flower 00:37 Let me try to help you What have you got there - Cactus Flower 00:18 What have you got there You completely de feminize yourself - Cactus Flower 00:10 You completely de feminize yourself Would you excuse me please I'll go and powder my nose - Cactus Flower 00:09 Would you excuse me please I'll go and powder my nose It's strange to see you in a nightclub - Cactus Flower 00:08 It's strange to see you in a nightclub Your hand I'm only human - Cactus Flower 00:06 Your hand I'm only human Well what'll you have to drink - Cactus Flower 00:11 Well what'll you have to drink What about Se or Sanchez - Cactus Flower 00:08 What about Se or Sanchez Here's a woman who gave herself to you before you were married - Cactus Flower 00:06 Here's a woman who gave herself to you before you were... She mentioned those chicken and egg salad sandwiches - Cactus Flower 00:20 She mentioned those chicken and egg salad sandwiches But to get out of this one my happiness lies in your two hands - Cactus Flower 00:08 But to get out of this one my happiness lies in your two... I'm the first decent man that she's ever met - Cactus Flower 00:09 I'm the first decent man that she's ever met I never expected - Cactus Flower 00:20 I never expected Why don't you try me - Cactus Flower 00:04 Why don't you try me I thought maybe you'd like to come out and have a drink with me - Cactus Flower 00:37 I thought maybe you'd like to come out and have a drink... One of these nights - Cactus Flower 00:10 One of these nights Hup out No this is different darling - Cactus Flower 00:15 Hup out No this is different darling No Toni Everything's going to be all right - Cactus Flower 00:14 No Toni Everything's going to be all right I just wanted to make sure you weren't playing any more tricks with gas - Cactus Flower 00:06 I just wanted to make sure you weren't playing any more... Excuse me Sergeant Miss Dickinson - Cactus Flower 00:27 Excuse me Sergeant Miss Dickinson I understand we've been  very  naughty - Cactus Flower 00:20 I understand we've been very naughty That's not the old Julian Winston I knew in the old days - Cactus Flower 00:09 That's not the old Julian Winston I knew in the old... Miss Andrews is on the phone - Cactus Flower 00:06 Miss Andrews is on the phone You know what I've done Created a monster - Cactus Flower 00:07 You know what I've done Created a monster We met one year ago at Stereo Heaven That's the record shop where I work - Cactus Flower 00:59 We met one year ago at Stereo Heaven That's the record... At first I thought it was going to be a gay carefree fling - Cactus Flower 00:05 At first I thought it was going to be a gay carefree fling Is that that dirty rat - Cactus Flower 00:09 Is that that dirty rat It's just not practical to keep one in the city - Cactus Flower 00:08 It's just not practical to keep one in the city No one needs a reason to hate Harvey - Cactus Flower 00:04 No one needs a reason to hate Harvey Don't try to fool me Doc I have a very good nose for sexual tension - Cactus Flower 00:05 Don't try to fool me Doc I have a very good nose for... You look different when you're all dressed up - Cactus Flower 00:08 You look different when you're all dressed up Everything you told me about your wife was true - Cactus Flower 00:10 Everything you told me about your wife was true What happened out there on my mink stole - Cactus Flower 00:06 What happened out there on my mink stole If you work for the CIA - Cactus Flower 00:11 If you work for the CIA I feel insulted - Cactus Flower 00:11 I feel insulted You're getting as prickly as your damn cactus - Cactus Flower 00:04 You're getting as prickly as your damn cactus Are you asking me to go out - Cactus Flower 00:08 Are you asking me to go out Will you give Tarzan here his electric razor - Cactus Flower 00:05 Will you give Tarzan here his electric razor Don't you know any girls with straight teeth - Cactus Flower 00:05 Don't you know any girls with straight teeth That's such a big dirty rotten filthy lie it has class - Cactus Flower 00:06 That's such a big dirty rotten filthy lie it has class Let me put it to you this way - Cactus Flower 00:05 Let me put it to you this way It's like waltzing in wet cement - Cactus Flower 00:04 It's like waltzing in wet cement You ought to know what I know I know what I know She's a dame - Cactus Flower 00:08 You ought to know what I know I know what I know She's... Why don't you come out and ask me if I went to bed with him - Cactus Flower 00:08 Why don't you come out and ask me if I went to bed with... You were the one who said that I was discouraging men - Cactus Flower 00:11 You were the one who said that I was discouraging men Let's not get neurotic about age - Cactus Flower 00:07 Let's not get neurotic about age Toni you're a kook But a nice kook - Cactus Flower 00:05 Toni you're a kook But a nice kook You are a most attractive woman - Cactus Flower 00:20 You are a most attractive woman She really turns me off - Cactus Flower 00:18 She really turns me off I wrote Julian telling him what I was going to do - Cactus Flower 00:08 I wrote Julian telling him what I was going to do I really blew it - Cactus Flower 00:05 I really blew it Why did you choose this place - Cactus Flower 00:08 Why did you choose this place Toni Julian is marrying you A lot of girls would leap at such a swindle - Cactus Flower 00:07 Toni Julian is marrying you A lot of girls would leap at... Why don't you go back and mind your own business - Cactus Flower 00:07 Why don't you go back and mind your own business I went to the police station - Cactus Flower 00:22 I went to the police station I'm having a rough time - Cactus Flower 00:15 I'm having a rough time

Cast

Dr. Julian Winston - Walter Matthau
Stephanie Dickinson - Ingrid Bergman
Toni Simmons - Goldie Hawn
Harvey Greenfield - Jack Weston
Igor Sullivan - Rick Lenz