Why don't we just go up there with a strike force and knock out their infrastructure...
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General Panzer: Why don't we just go up there with a strike force and knock out their infrastructure quicker than you can say collateral damage?
Smiley: No!
U.S. President: Oh no, no.
General Panzer: Why not?
U.S. President: Yeah, yeah, why not?
Smiley: Because a war with Canada would be over in a matter of days. Do you remember Grenada? They didn't even wake Reagan up.
General Panzer: Didn't have to.
Smiley: And all we found there were a bunch of rich American med school rejects and a couple Cuban construction workers
General Panzer: That's liberal bullshit! Cuba had a division in there.
Smiley: What about Panama? A couple of days of blasting Def Leppard over loud speakers and Noriega ran out weeping. And Iraq, ha! They were supposed to have this big bad army.
General Panzer: They had the biggest cannon, invented by a Canadian.
Smiley: In 72 hours after we invade they're begging for a Big Mack.
General Panzer: They stopped us a hundred miles short of Baghdad and we just sat there waving our dicks in the desert.
Smiley: Mr. President do you want more of that, or 50 years of Cold War prosperity because Joe Schmo American is scared shitless the world's gonna end before the next commercial.
U.S. President: Well, I think I like Mr. Smiley's approach
Smiley: No!
U.S. President: Oh no, no.
General Panzer: Why not?
U.S. President: Yeah, yeah, why not?
Smiley: Because a war with Canada would be over in a matter of days. Do you remember Grenada? They didn't even wake Reagan up.
General Panzer: Didn't have to.
Smiley: And all we found there were a bunch of rich American med school rejects and a couple Cuban construction workers
General Panzer: That's liberal bullshit! Cuba had a division in there.
Smiley: What about Panama? A couple of days of blasting Def Leppard over loud speakers and Noriega ran out weeping. And Iraq, ha! They were supposed to have this big bad army.
General Panzer: They had the biggest cannon, invented by a Canadian.
Smiley: In 72 hours after we invade they're begging for a Big Mack.
General Panzer: They stopped us a hundred miles short of Baghdad and we just sat there waving our dicks in the desert.
Smiley: Mr. President do you want more of that, or 50 years of Cold War prosperity because Joe Schmo American is scared shitless the world's gonna end before the next commercial.
U.S. President: Well, I think I like Mr. Smiley's approach
Full Transcript
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I don't know what to think
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Looks like you people are planning something nasty
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Mmm mmm mmm
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What If you feel that way about it goodbye
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I like this
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I think now may be the time to turn up the heat
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What do you mean
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Well what if I'm just spitballing here
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That's okay Go ahead
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A Canadian hit squad i e trained professionals
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who looked like Canadians
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were photographed sabotaging an important installation inside the U S
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Let's go there with a strike force
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knock out their infrastructure
00:00:37.169 --> 00:00:39.505
quicker than you can say Collateral damage
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No No
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Why not Yeah why not
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A war with Canada would be over in days
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Remember Grenada
00:00:46.946 --> 00:00:48.113
They didn't even wake Reagan up
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Didn't have to
00:00:49.515 --> 00:00:52.952
All we found were rich American med school rejects
00:00:53.052 --> 00:00:54.092
and a couple of Cuban construction workers
00:00:55.003 --> 00:00:57.069
That's liberal bullshit Cuba had a division in there
00:00:57.079 --> 00:00:59.191
What about Panama
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Right Listen to this
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A few days of blasting Def Leppard over loudspeakers
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and Noriega ran out weeping
00:01:06.999 --> 00:01:07.667
And Iraq Ha
00:01:07.767 --> 00:01:08.768
Ha
00:01:08.999 --> 00:01:11.999
They were supposed to have this big bad army
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They had the biggest cannon invented by a Canadian
00:01:14.974 --> 00:01:16.642
72 hours after we invade
00:01:16.742 --> 00:01:18.999
they're begging for a big Mac
00:01:18.343 --> 00:01:20.379
They stopped us a hundred miles short of Baghdad
00:01:20.048 --> 00:01:23.583
We just sat there waving our dicks at the desert
00:01:24.999 --> 00:01:27.152
Mr President do you want more of that
00:01:27.252 --> 00:01:29.922
or 50 years of Cold War prosperity
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because Joe Schmoe American is scared shitless
00:01:32.958 --> 00:01:35.761
the world's going to end before the next commercial
00:01:38.998 --> 00:01:41.634
Well I think I like Mr Smiley's approach
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Movie Summary
The U.S. President, low in the opinion polls, gets talked into raising his popularity by trying to start a cold war against Canada.
