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Now you think I'm joking?

Now you think I'm joking?That's the truth. I just got releasedfrom prison. Oh, my God.This...

Cape Fear • 1991

Now you think I'm joking?That's the truth. I just got releasedfrom prison. Oh, my God.This is the way my dayhas been turning out. Actually,it reminds meof a joke. Do you wantto hear it?Tell me. Liven up the night.All right. An unmarried woman... Wait a minute,that's not it.An unmarried woman... Come on, get the jokestraight, darling. Shut up. Shut up.Let me do it. An unmarried woman,she meets a guy and he tells herhe just got outof prison. "What did you do?"She asks. "I hacked my wifeinto 52 pieceswith a chain saw." She says,"So, you're single?" That's even funnier.Thank you. Could I ask yousomething?What? What did you do?I knew you weregoing to ask that. I hacked my wifeinto 52 pieces. I was afraid you weregonna say that. Well, I'm a verysmall person,so maybe... Maybe I can hack youinto 40 pieces

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.626

Now you think I'm joking That's the truth

00:00:02.071 --> 00:00:04.087

I just got released from prison

00:00:04.338 --> 00:00:07.966

Oh my God This is the way my day has been turning out

00:00:09.385 --> 00:00:11.595

Actually it reminds me of a joke

00:00:12.347 --> 00:00:13.806

Do you want to hear it Tell me

00:00:13.089 --> 00:00:15.391

Liven up the night All right

00:00:16.001 --> 00:00:18.603

An unmarried woman

00:00:18.688 --> 00:00:20.313

Wait a minute that's not it An unmarried woman

00:00:20.398 --> 00:00:21.982

Come on get the joke straight darling

00:00:22.999 --> 00:00:23.858

Shut up Shut up Let me do it

00:00:23.943 --> 00:00:25.082

An unmarried woman she meets a guy

00:00:25.904 --> 00:00:28.781

and he tells her he just got out of prison

00:00:28.865 --> 00:00:30.616

What did you do She asks

00:00:30.701 --> 00:00:33.453

I hacked my wife into 52 pieces with a chain saw

00:00:33.538 --> 00:00:34.871

LAUGHS LOUDLY

00:00:36.999 --> 00:00:38.075

She says So you're single

00:00:39.878 --> 00:00:41.504

That's even funnier Thank you

00:00:42.589 --> 00:00:43.923

Could I ask you something What

00:00:44.999 --> 00:00:45.633

What did you do I knew you were going to ask that

00:00:46.219 --> 00:00:48.262

I hacked my wife into 52 pieces

00:00:48.346 --> 00:00:50.347

I was afraid you were gonna say that

00:00:51.002 --> 00:00:53.727

Well I'm a very small person so maybe

00:00:53.811 --> 00:00:56.313

Maybe I can hack you into 40 pieces

00:00:56.397 --> 00:00:57.856

BOTH LAUGHING

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.582

أنت تعتقدين أنني أمزح هذه هي الحقيقة لقد تم إطلاق سراحي منذ برهة من السجن

00:00:04.067 --> 00:00:08.075

يا إلهي ألهذا الحد أصبح يومي متقلبا

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فى الحقيقة ذلك يذكرني بنكتة ظريفة

00:00:12.097 --> 00:00:16.339

ـ هل ترغب فى سماعها ـ أخبريني حتي نحيي الليلة

00:00:16.557 --> 00:00:20.072

كانت إمراءة غير متزوجة لا إنتظر دقيقة ليست هذه هي النكتة

00:00:20.811 --> 00:00:24.061

ـ هيا قومي بإلقائها بشكل سريع ـ إسكت ودعني أخرجها

00:00:24.148 --> 00:00:26.224

إمراءة غير متزوجة تقابل فتي

00:00:26.317 --> 00:00:29.001

وهو يخبرها أنه قد خرج لتوه من السجن

00:00:29.611 --> 00:00:31.189

فتسأله ماذا فعلت

00:00:31.028 --> 00:00:35.657

لقد قمت بتقطيع زوجتي إلى 52 قطعة بالمنشارالكهربائي

00:00:36.702 --> 00:00:39.703

فتقول له إذا فأنت عازب الأن

00:00:40.372 --> 00:00:42.412

ـ إنها بالفعل ظريفة ـ شكرا

00:00:42.075 --> 00:00:44.541

ـ هل يمكنني أن أسألك شيئا ـ ماذا

00:00:44.626 --> 00:00:46.915

ـ ماذا كانت تهمتك ـ كنت أعلم أنك ستسألين

00:00:47.978 --> 00:00:51.063

ـ لقد قمت بتقطيع زوجتي إلى 52 قطعة ـ أنا خشيت أن تقول ذلك

00:00:51.717 --> 00:00:54.422

أنا صغيرة الحجم قليلا فربما

00:00:54.511 --> 00:00:57.299

إذا يمكنني أن أقوم بتقطيعك إلى 40 قطعة فقط

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.582

Vous croyez que je plaisante C'est vrai Je viens de sortir de prison

00:00:04.067 --> 00:00:08.075

Mon Dieu Aujourd'hui c'est ma journée

00:00:09.466 --> 00:00:12.551

Ça me rappelle une blague

00:00:12.097 --> 00:00:16.339

Je vous la raconte Allez y Qu'on s'amuse un peu

00:00:16.557 --> 00:00:20.072

Une femme seule Attendez c'est pas ça

00:00:20.811 --> 00:00:24.061

Allez y retrouvez la Taisez vous Laissez moi faire

00:00:24.147 --> 00:00:26.223

Une femme seule rencontre un type

00:00:26.316 --> 00:00:29.001

qui lui dit qu'il sort de prison

00:00:29.611 --> 00:00:31.189

Pourquoi lui demande t elle

00:00:31.279 --> 00:00:35.657

J'ai découpé ma femme en 52 morceaux avec une tronçonneuse

00:00:36.701 --> 00:00:39.702

Elle dit Alors tu es libre

00:00:40.372 --> 00:00:42.411

C'est encore plus drôle Merci

00:00:42.749 --> 00:00:44.054

Je peux poser une question Quoi

00:00:44.626 --> 00:00:46.915

Qu'aviez vous fait Je m'y attendais

00:00:47.001 --> 00:00:51.063

J'ai coupé ma femme en 52 morceaux C'est ce que je craignais

00:00:51.716 --> 00:00:54.421

Je suis toute petite alors peut être

00:00:54.511 --> 00:00:57.298

Je pourrais faire 40 morceaux

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.582

Sie glauben ich scherze Es ist wahr Ich komme frisch aus dem Knast

00:00:04.067 --> 00:00:08.075

Mein Gott So also endet mein Tag

00:00:09.466 --> 00:00:12.551

Das erinnert mich an einen Witz

00:00:12.097 --> 00:00:16.339

Wollen Sie ihn hören Nur zu Das belebt den Abend

00:00:16.557 --> 00:00:20.072

Eine ledige Frau Moment das ist es nicht

00:00:20.811 --> 00:00:24.061

Los erzählen Sie schon den Witz Ruhe Lassen Sie mich

00:00:24.148 --> 00:00:26.224

Eine ledige Frau trifft diesen Typen

00:00:26.317 --> 00:00:29.052

und er erzählt ihr dass er eben aus dem Gefängnis kommt

00:00:29.611 --> 00:00:31.189

Was hast du getan fragt sie

00:00:31.028 --> 00:00:35.657

lch habe meine Frau mit einer Kettensäge in 52 Teile zerlegt

00:00:36.702 --> 00:00:39.703

Sie fragt Dann bist du Single

00:00:40.372 --> 00:00:42.412

Das ist noch lustiger Danke

00:00:42.075 --> 00:00:44.541

Darf ich Sie etwas fragen Was

00:00:44.626 --> 00:00:46.915

Was taten Sie Ich wusste Sie würden fragen

00:00:47.978 --> 00:00:51.063

Ich habe meine Frau in 52 Teile Ich fürchtete Sie würden das sagen

00:00:51.717 --> 00:00:54.422

Ich bin sehr klein also könnten Sie vielleicht

00:00:54.511 --> 00:00:57.299

Vielleicht könnte ich Sie in 40 Stücke zerlegen

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.006

Вы думаете я шучу Это правда Я только что получил выпущен из тюрьмы

00:00:04.068 --> 00:00:08.076

Боже мой Это мой путь день был оказывается

00:00:09.048 --> 00:00:12.056

На самом деле это напоминает мне о шутке

00:00:12.096 --> 00:00:16.036

Вы Хотите услышать скажи Мне Оживите ночь

00:00:16.056 --> 00:00:20.072

Незамужняя женщина Подожди это не так

00:00:20.008 --> 00:00:24.998

Давай Получить шутка прямо Заткнись Позвольте мне сделать это

00:00:24.002 --> 00:00:26.024

Незамужняя женщина встречается с парнем

00:00:26.032 --> 00:00:29.999

И он говорит ей что он только что вышел из тюрьмы

00:00:29.064 --> 00:00:31.002

Что ты сделал спрашивает она

00:00:31.028 --> 00:00:35.068

Я взломал мою жену в 52 штук с цепной пилой

00:00:36.072 --> 00:00:39.072

Она говорит Так ты один

00:00:40.036 --> 00:00:42.044

Это Еще смешнее спасибо

00:00:42.076 --> 00:00:44.056

Не могли бы ли я задать вам что нибудь Что

00:00:44.068 --> 00:00:46.092

Что Ты сделал Я Знал что ты хотел спросить

00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:51.064

Я То взломал мой жену в 52 штук Я Боялся что ты это скажешь

00:00:51.072 --> 00:00:54.044

Я очень маленький человек так что возможно

00:00:54.056 --> 00:00:57.032

Может быть я могу взломать вас в 40 штук

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.501

Espera Espera

00:00:06.905 --> 00:00:09.139

La 170 es la gorda

00:00:15.347 --> 00:00:17.147

Jesús se parecen a Peter Paul y Mary

00:00:17.182 --> 00:00:18.648

Por qué les eligen a ellos

00:00:18.683 --> 00:00:20.116

No lo sé y no me importa

00:00:20.015 --> 00:00:21.518

Quizás ese es el problema

00:00:21.552 --> 00:00:23.052

Eres el único que habló con él una hora

00:00:23.554 --> 00:00:25.789

Pensaba que era tu mejor amigo Por lo visto no le causaste buena impresión

00:00:25.823 --> 00:00:27.791

Es un rata bastardo Sabes qué

00:00:27.825 --> 00:00:30.193

No me despiertes y me eches en cara tus fallos

00:00:30.227 --> 00:00:32.395

Es domingo por Diosa santo

00:00:33.631 --> 00:00:35.965

Sally vuelve aquí Chicos volved a vuestra habitación

00:00:39.135 --> 00:00:41.136

Ven aquí

00:00:45.997 --> 00:00:47.476

Hay algo que quieras preguntarme No

00:00:47.511 --> 00:00:49.277

Sí que lo hay pero pensaste que sería mejor preguntarle a Megan

00:00:49.312 --> 00:00:51.212

Se suponía que no iba a decir nada

00:00:51.246 --> 00:00:52.068

Y qué se suponía que debía hacer exactamente

00:00:52.715 --> 00:00:55.517

No mentir de nuevo

00:00:57.853 --> 00:01:00.321

Bueno lo siento

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.627

Now you think I'm joking That's the truth

00:00:02.071 --> 00:00:04.087

I just got released from prison

00:00:04.337 --> 00:00:07.967

Oh my God This is the way my day has been turning out

00:00:09.383 --> 00:00:11.602

Actually it reminds me of a joke

00:00:12.345 --> 00:00:13.813

Do you want to hear it Tell me

00:00:13.888 --> 00:00:15.039

Liven up the night All right

00:00:16.999 --> 00:00:18.606

An unmarried woman

00:00:18.684 --> 00:00:20.311

VVait a minute that's not it An unmarried woman

00:00:20.394 --> 00:00:21.987

Come on get the joke straight darling

00:00:22.999 --> 00:00:23.861

Shut up Shut up Let me do it

00:00:23.094 --> 00:00:25.817

An unmarried woman she meets a guy

00:00:25.009 --> 00:00:28.779

and he tells her he just got out of prison

00:00:28.861 --> 00:00:30.613

What did you do she asks

00:00:30.696 --> 00:00:33.449

I hacked my wife into 52 pieces with a chain saw

00:00:33.533 --> 00:00:34.876

LAUGHS LOUDLY

00:00:36.997 --> 00:00:38.754

She says So you're single

00:00:39.872 --> 00:00:41.499

That's even funnier Thank you

00:00:42.583 --> 00:00:43.926

Could I ask you something What

00:00:44.999 --> 00:00:45.636

What did you do I knew you were going to ask that

00:00:46.212 --> 00:00:48.026

I hacked my wife into 52 pieces

00:00:48.339 --> 00:00:50.341

I was afraid you were gonna say that

00:00:51.997 --> 00:00:53.724

Well I'm a very small person so maybe

00:00:53.803 --> 00:00:56.306

Maybe I can hack you into 40 pieces

00:00:56.389 --> 00:00:57.857

BOTH LAUGHING

Available in 7 languages

Duration

59 seconds

Views

36

Timestamp in Movie

00:33:06

Uploaded

Mar 14, 2026

Genres

crime, thriller

Production

Amblin Entertainment,Cappa Productions,Tribeca Productions,Universal Pictures

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Movie Summary

A convicted rapist, released from prison after serving a fourteen-year sentence, stalks the family of the lawyer who originally defended him.