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[after Dylan attempted to choke Wyclef Jean] P. Diddy:
If I had my way, I'd never work. I'd just stay home all day, watch Scarface 50 times, eat a turkey sandwich, and have sex all fucking day. Then I'd dress up like a clown, and surprise kids at schools. Then I'd take a dump in the back of a movie theater, and just wait until somebody sat in it. Hear it squish. That's funny to me. Then I'd paint, and read, and play violin. I'd climb the mountains, and sing the songs that I like to sing. But I don't got that kinda time
If I had my way, I'd never work. I'd just stay home all day, watch Scarface 50 times, eat a turkey sandwich, and have sex all fucking day. Then I'd dress up like a clown, and surprise kids at schools. Then I'd take a dump in the back of a movie theater, and just wait until somebody sat in it. Hear it squish. That's funny to me. Then I'd paint, and read, and play violin. I'd climb the mountains, and sing the songs that I like to sing. But I don't got that kinda time
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.005
If I had my way I'd never work
00:00:03.566 --> 00:00:07.004
I'd just stay home all day watch Scarface 50 times
00:00:08.633 --> 00:00:10.000
eat a turkey sandwich
00:00:10.001 --> 00:00:12.001
and have sex all fuckin' day
00:00:12.166 --> 00:00:15.366
Then I'd dress up like a clown and surprise kids at schools
00:00:16.007 --> 00:00:18.566
Then I'd take a dump in the back of a movie theater
00:00:18.633 --> 00:00:21.166
and just wait till somebody sat in it
00:00:21.233 --> 00:00:22.666
hear it squish
00:00:22.733 --> 00:00:23.009
That's funny to me
00:00:23.966 --> 00:00:27.003
Then I'd paint and read and play violin
00:00:28.003 --> 00:00:29.003
I'd climb the mountains
00:00:29.366 --> 00:00:31.566
and sing the songs that I like to sing
00:00:31.633 --> 00:00:33.533
But I don't got that kind of time
00:00:33.006 --> 00:00:35.003
Playboy Playboy
00:00:36.466 --> 00:00:38.266
You just gonna comb your hair Playboy
00:00:38.333 --> 00:00:41.466
Sarah you just gonna talk up all your anytime minutes
00:00:41.533 --> 00:00:43.005
Is this anytime huh
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Movie Summary
Comedian Dave Chappelle hosts this sketch-comedy show that parodies many of the nuances of race and culture.