Fuck Lando Calrissian! Uncle Tom nigger!
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Hooper:
For years in this industry, whenever an African American character, hero or villain, was introduced - usually by *white* artists and writers - they got slapped with racist names that singled them out as Negroes. Now, my book, "White-Hatin' Coon," don't have none of that bullshit. The hero's name is Maleekwa, and he's a descendant from the black tribe that established the first society on the planet, while all you European motherfuckers were still hiding in caves and shit, all terrified of the sun. He's a strong role model that a young black reader can look up to. 'Cause I'm here to tell you, the chickens is coming home to roost, y'all. The black man's no longer gonna play the minstrel in the medium of comics and sci-fi fantasy. We keepin' it real, and we gonna get respect by any means necessary. Holden:
Ah, come on, that's a bunch of horse shit! Lando Calrissian was a black guy. You know. He got to fly the Millennium Falcon, what's the matter with you? Hooper:
Who said that? Holden:
I did! Lando Calrissian is a positive role-model in the realm of science-fiction/fantasy. Hooper:
Fuck Lando Calrissian! Uncle Tom nigger!
For years in this industry, whenever an African American character, hero or villain, was introduced - usually by *white* artists and writers - they got slapped with racist names that singled them out as Negroes. Now, my book, "White-Hatin' Coon," don't have none of that bullshit. The hero's name is Maleekwa, and he's a descendant from the black tribe that established the first society on the planet, while all you European motherfuckers were still hiding in caves and shit, all terrified of the sun. He's a strong role model that a young black reader can look up to. 'Cause I'm here to tell you, the chickens is coming home to roost, y'all. The black man's no longer gonna play the minstrel in the medium of comics and sci-fi fantasy. We keepin' it real, and we gonna get respect by any means necessary. Holden:
Ah, come on, that's a bunch of horse shit! Lando Calrissian was a black guy. You know. He got to fly the Millennium Falcon, what's the matter with you? Hooper:
Who said that? Holden:
I did! Lando Calrissian is a positive role-model in the realm of science-fiction/fantasy. Hooper:
Fuck Lando Calrissian! Uncle Tom nigger!
Full Transcript
00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:06.754
For years in this industry...
00:00:06.837 --> 00:00:09.923
whenever an African-American
character, hero or villain,
00:00:10.997 --> 00:00:14.261
was introduced, usually, by white artists and writers,
00:00:14.345 --> 00:00:17.389
they got slapped with racist names...
00:00:17.473 --> 00:00:19.933
that singled them out as Negroes.
00:00:22.394 --> 00:00:25.272
Now, my book--
00:00:25.356 --> 00:00:28.275
White Hatin' Coon--
00:00:28.359 --> 00:00:30.444
don't have none of that bullshit.
00:00:30.527 --> 00:00:33.572
The hero's name is Maleekwa,
a descendant from the black tribe...
00:00:33.614 --> 00:00:36.617
that established the first society on the planet,
00:00:36.007 --> 00:00:39.745
while you European motherfuckers
were still hidin' in caves and shit,
00:00:39.828 --> 00:00:42.206
all terrified of the sun.
00:00:42.289 --> 00:00:47.024
He's a strong role model that
a young black reader can look up to,
00:00:47.999 --> 00:00:51.059
The chickens is comin' home to roost, y'all.
00:00:51.632 --> 00:00:55.803
The black man's no longer gonna play the
minstrel in comics and sci-fi fantasy.
00:00:55.886 --> 00:01:00.808
We keepin' it real, and we gonna
get respect by any means necessary.
00:01:00.849 --> 00:01:04.999
Ah, come on!
That's a bunch of horseshit!
00:01:04.001 --> 00:01:07.006
Lando Calrissian was a black guy, you know.
00:01:07.999 --> 00:01:09.001
He got to fly the Millennium Falcon.
What's the matter with you?
00:01:09.608 --> 00:01:12.236
- Who said that?
- I did.
00:01:12.319 --> 00:01:16.999
Lando Calrissian is a positive role
model in science-fiction fantasy.
00:01:16.699 --> 00:01:19.999
Fuck Lando Calrissian!
Uncle Tom nigger!
00:01:19.827 --> 00:01:22.871
Always some white boy gotta invoke the holy trilogy.
00:01:22.955 --> 00:01:28.294
Those movies are about how the
white man keeps the brother man down...
00:01:28.999 --> 00:01:31.038
even in a galaxy far, far away.
00:01:31.999 --> 00:01:35.342
Check this shit. You got
cracker farm boy Luke Skywalker--
00:01:35.426 --> 00:01:37.428
Nazi poster boy--
blond hair, blue eyes--
00:01:37.511 --> 00:01:39.001
and then you got Darth Vader.
00:01:39.001 --> 00:01:42.004
The blackest brother in the galaxy, Nubian guy.
00:01:42.182 --> 00:01:45.001
- What's a Nubian?
- Shut the fuck up!
00:01:47.938 --> 00:01:51.001
Now, Vader, he's a spiritual brother, you know.
00:01:51.358 --> 00:01:53.569
Down with the force and all that good shit.
00:01:53.652 --> 00:01:56.905
Then this cracker, Skywalker,
gets his hands on a light saber,
00:01:56.989 --> 00:01:59.325
and the boy decides he's gonna run the fuckin' universe.
00:01:59.366 --> 00:02:02.286
Gets a whole Klan of whites together.
00:02:02.369 --> 00:02:05.414
And they gonna bust up Vader's hood, the Death Star.
00:02:05.497 --> 00:02:07.416
Now, what the fuck do you call that?
00:02:07.499 --> 00:02:10.001
- Intergalactic civil war?
- Gentrification!
00:02:12.999 --> 00:02:16.001
They gonna drive out the black element...
00:02:16.001 --> 00:02:19.047
to make the galaxy "safe" for white folks.
00:02:19.553 --> 00:02:23.999
And Jedi's the most insulting installment!
00:02:23.001 --> 00:02:26.852
Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied...
00:02:26.001 --> 00:02:32.001
when he pulls off his mask to reveal
a feeble, crusty, old white man.
00:02:32.003 --> 00:02:36.999
They're tryin' to tell us that deep
inside we all wants to be white!
00:02:38.113 --> 00:02:40.001
Well, isn't that true?
00:02:49.075 --> 00:02:50.001
Black rage!
00:02:51.048 --> 00:02:53.999
Black rage!
I'll kill any white folks...
00:02:53.999 --> 00:02:57.001
I lay my motherfuckin' eyes on!
00:03:22.001 --> 00:03:25.995
"What's a Nubian?"
Bitch, you almost made me laugh.
00:03:26.003 --> 00:03:28.999
Man, what about you? You didn't tell
me you were gonna scream, "Black rage!"
00:03:28.001 --> 00:03:30.791
I nearly pissed myself.
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Movie Summary
Holden and Banky are comic book artists. Everything's going good for them until they meet Alyssa, also a comic book artist. Holden falls for her, but his hopes are crushed when he finds out she's a lesbian.
Actors
Holden Mcneil
