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"Clerks II" quotes

Clerks II poster
A calamity at Dante and Randal's shops sends them looking for new horizons - but they ultimately settle at the fast food empire Mooby's.

Director: Kevin Smith
Writer: Kevin Smith
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy
Year: 2006
MetaScore: 65/100
ImdbRating: 7.3
BoxOffice: $24,148,068
Released: 21 Jul 2006
Awards: 3 wins & 3 nominations

129 video clips

Gawking GuyHobbit LoverBeckyJaySexy StudWifeHusbandEliasSilent BobTeen #1Teen #2Lance DowdsEmmaDiner #1FiremanCounter Girl With Ear GuyConcerned Father
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They guy's just in a wheelchair - Clerks II 02:13 They guy's just in a wheelchair That look was so gay - Clerks II 01:13 That look was so gay What do you think - Clerks II 03:28 What do you think Did he say 'cock stain' - Clerks II 00:38 Did he say 'cock stain' I fucking knew it - Clerks II 00:36 I fucking knew it The Transformers sucked - Clerks II 00:22 The Transformers sucked What What's the big deal - Clerks II 00:32 What What's the big deal There's only one Return okay - Clerks II 00:36 There's only one Return okay Wow thanks Pickle Fucker - Clerks II 00:07 Wow thanks Pickle Fucker Look it just centers me all right - Clerks II 00:30 Look it just centers me all right I'm not eating something that - Clerks II 00:10 I'm not eating something that Like why haven't you fucked Myra yet - Clerks II 00:36 Like why haven't you fucked Myra yet You know sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life - Clerks II 00:34 You know sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life Why Because I enjoyed what I did - Clerks II 00:15 Why Because I enjoyed what I did Since God created man - Clerks II 00:36 Since God created man Yeah you guys holdin' - Clerks II 00:19 Yeah you guys holdin' Let me tell you something - Clerks II 00:37 Let me tell you something I'm disgusted and repulsed and - Clerks II 00:08 I'm disgusted and repulsed and Fuck I had to take a fucking order off of a guy - Clerks II 00:07 Fuck I had to take a fucking order off of a guy Oh then man you must love this fuckin' guy - Clerks II 00:35 Oh then man you must love this fuckin' guy Hey 12 step - Clerks II 00:34 Hey 12 step Since when did porch monkey suddenly become a racial slur - Clerks II 00:37 Since when did porch monkey suddenly become a racial slur Whoo Whoo - Clerks II 00:21 Whoo Whoo He was the Mad Ducketts guy he was just Pickle Fucker - Clerks II 00:36 He was the Mad Ducketts guy he was just Pickle Fucker God it must be nice to have a job - Clerks II 00:15 God it must be nice to have a job Oh we totally do - Clerks II 00:05 Oh we totally do Why do the go carts help - Clerks II 00:27 Why do the go carts help How many times - Clerks II 00:37 How many times What the fuck - Clerks II 00:12 What the fuck You wouldn't want to be with a girl - Clerks II 00:08 You wouldn't want to be with a girl You should read your Bible sirs - Clerks II 00:09 You should read your Bible sirs You're my best friend - Clerks II 00:15 You're my best friend Here's the first movie - Clerks II 00:20 Here's the first movie Avert your eyes you perv - Clerks II 00:09 Avert your eyes you perv I know you've given a blow job right - Clerks II 00:34 I know you've given a blow job right I need two Egga Mooby Muffins - Clerks II 00:35 I need two Egga Mooby Muffins You became persona non nookie to me - Clerks II 00:29 You became persona non nookie to me I don't think these look right - Clerks II 00:19 I don't think these look right That's bestiality Randal - Clerks II 00:35 That's bestiality Randal You swung at me - Clerks II 00:05 You swung at me Get the fuck out of here - Clerks II 00:04 Get the fuck out of here Ladies and gentlemen - Clerks II 00:13 Ladies and gentlemen 17 year olds nowadays are crazy - Clerks II 00:18 17 year olds nowadays are crazy No we had sex one night after work a few weeks ago - Clerks II 00:08 No we had sex one night after work a few weeks ago If Peter Jackson really wanted to blow me away - Clerks II 00:11 If Peter Jackson really wanted to blow me away I'd buy the Quick Stop and reopen it myself - Clerks II 00:13 I'd buy the Quick Stop and reopen it myself Oh you're gonna be rolling in the pussy man - Clerks II 00:10 Oh you're gonna be rolling in the pussy man You know what What - Clerks II 00:06 You know what What You know I have a girlfriend Randal - Clerks II 00:35 You know I have a girlfriend Randal Randal Graves - Clerks II 00:12 Randal Graves Remember you saved - Clerks II 00:07 Remember you saved Sighs Can you feel it - Clerks II 00:10 Sighs Can you feel it You can't get a chick you mook - Clerks II 00:15 You can't get a chick you mook I can't believe you - Clerks II 00:21 I can't believe you We need to talk - Clerks II 00:05 We need to talk Laughs I made fun of Lord of the Rings so hard - Clerks II 00:15 Laughs I made fun of Lord of the Rings so hard Would you fuck me - Clerks II 00:12 Would you fuck me My online handle is Optimus Prime - Clerks II 00:06 My online handle is Optimus Prime And you wonder why no chick'll let you stick your cock in her - Clerks II 00:35 And you wonder why no chick'll let you stick your cock... They're up for anything - Clerks II 00:36 They're up for anything You guys would be willing to lend us some of that money - Clerks II 00:32 You guys would be willing to lend us some of that money I got to watch movies - Clerks II 00:06 I got to watch movies But sometimes in the heat of the moment - Clerks II 00:07 But sometimes in the heat of the moment Yeah So where we doing this thing - Clerks II 00:25 Yeah So where we doing this thing Wow that guy's being awfully forward with that donkey - Clerks II 00:05 Wow that guy's being awfully forward with that donkey Say what you will about Jesus - Clerks II 00:05 Say what you will about Jesus Yo you guys are gonna miss this shit - Clerks II 00:10 Yo you guys are gonna miss this shit One ring to rule them all - Clerks II 00:14 One ring to rule them all How many times - Clerks II 00:09 How many times I'm having second thoughts - Clerks II 00:07 I'm having second thoughts I hope that donkey doesn't have a heinie troll - Clerks II 00:06 I hope that donkey doesn't have a heinie troll But after the show if you want - Clerks II 00:06 But after the show if you want I miss my donkey - Clerks II 00:05 I miss my donkey I have a huge boner right now - Clerks II 00:06 I have a huge boner right now May your first child be a masculine child - Clerks II 00:04 May your first child be a masculine child What'd you do that for - Clerks II 00:07 What'd you do that for Laughs I like them man They're funny - Clerks II 00:06 Laughs I like them man They're funny Transformers were a total sleight against God - Clerks II 00:13 Transformers were a total sleight against God Are you serious - Clerks II 00:07 Are you serious Don't look at his wee wee - Clerks II 00:04 Don't look at his wee wee Yo I was outside taking a piss when I heard the news - Clerks II 00:06 Yo I was outside taking a piss when I heard the news Well at least you spelled cock right this time - Clerks II 00:04 Well at least you spelled cock right this time You ever see a chick give a mule a blow job - Clerks II 00:04 You ever see a chick give a mule a blow job I mean you already taught me how to dance at a wedding - Clerks II 00:05 I mean you already taught me how to dance at a wedding And you wonder why no chick'll let you stick your cock in her - Clerks II 00:08 And you wonder why no chick'll let you stick your cock... You know this tastes like piss and flies don't it - Clerks II 00:06 You know this tastes like piss and flies don't it I got nothing - Clerks II 00:05 I got nothing What's the matter with you - Clerks II 01:04 What's the matter with you You're chaos incarnate man - Clerks II 01:05 You're chaos incarnate man
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Cast

Dante - Brian O'Halloran
Randal - Jeff Anderson
Jay - Jason Mewes
Silent Bob - Kevin Smith
Teen #1 - Jake Richardson
All Cast