Women

Randal Graves:
Why haven't you fucked Myra yet? Elias:
Well, we can't because of Pillow Pants. Randal Graves:
What the fuck's Pillow Pants? Elias:
Pillow Pants is a little troll who lives in her pussy. [Randal stares] Elias:
Pillow Pants is her pussy troll? [scoffs] Elias:
Duh. You know how every girl's parents put a pussy troll in them when the girls are young, to keep them from having premarital sex? Randal Graves:
...Sure. Elias:
Well Myra's is named Pillow Pants. And so even though she totally wants to have sex with me, Myra says if I put my... thing in her, Pillow Pants will bite it off. So, I gotta wait until Pillow Pants gets peed out of her body on her 21st birthday before we can have sex. Randal Graves:
[floored]
And Myra told you this? Elias:
Boyfriends and girlfriends talk to each other about sex stuff Randal. You'd know this if you ever had a girlfriend. Randal Graves:
Have you And Myra even kissed yet? Elias:
We would have already if it wasn't for Listerfiend. Randal Graves:
[beat]
Listerfiend is her mouth troll, isn't it? Elias:
[shakes head]
Women