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I prayed to God to smite Randal
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Clerks III

I prayed to God to smite Randal, so Jesus attacked his heartat my command

I prayed to God to smite Randal, so Jesus attacked his heart
at my command

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.163
I prayed to God to smite Randal,
00:00:04.253 --> 00:00:08.712
so Jesus attacked his heart at my command.
Duration
9 seconds
Views
52
Timestamp in Movie
00:16:57
Uploaded
May 03, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
View Askew Productions,BondIt Media Capital,Lionsgate,TPC

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Movie Summary

Dante, Elias, and Jay and Silent Bob are enlisted by Randal after a heart attack to make a movie about the convenience store that started it all.
[sobbing] - Clerks III 00:05
[sobbing]
Pray with me, Mr. Dante. [exhales sharply] - Clerks III 00:08
Pray with me, Mr. Dante. [exhales sharply]
Spare the heretic I damned in jest. - Clerks III 00:05
Spare the heretic I damned in jest.
"Jesus did no wrong whereas we are but thieves." - Clerks III 00:08
"Jesus did no wrong whereas we are but thieves."
I can tell by your very subtle tattoo that you're a superhero fan, - Clerks III 00:06
I can tell by your very subtle tattoo that you're a sup...
- Uh-huh. - You know, - Clerks III 00:05
- Uh-huh. - You know,
Now, doesn't that sound like some bad guy that Ranger Danger has to fight? - Clerks III 00:05
Now, doesn't that sound like some bad guy that Ranger D...
Because in 80% of the cases, - Clerks III 00:05
Because in 80% of the cases,
But don't worry, you're gonna be in the 20%, - Clerks III 00:06
But don't worry, you're gonna be in the 20%,
Now, if you excuse me, - Clerks III 00:09
Now, if you excuse me,
So if you remember any prayers from when you were a kid, - Clerks III 00:06
So if you remember any prayers from when you were a kid,
Please don't let me die. - Clerks III 00:07
Please don't let me die.
After all this time devoting my life to God... - Clerks III 00:05
After all this time devoting my life to God...
I think Jesus was always more of a WaWa guy. - Clerks III 00:04
I think Jesus was always more of a WaWa guy.
Fairytales, faith and pledging fealty to a fictional fucking phantom. - Clerks III 00:06
Fairytales, faith and pledging fealty to a fictional fucking...
In my darkest hour, when I need Him most, the Lord totally ghosts me? - Clerks III 00:05
In my darkest hour, when I need Him most, the Lord totally g...
Well, to hell with all that made-up Jesus jive. - Clerks III 00:04
Well, to hell with all that made-up Jesus jive.
[exhales deeply] Save Randal this night, - Clerks III 00:09
[exhales deeply] Save Randal this night,
I mean, isn't he kind of like the Optimus Prime of evil? - Clerks III 00:04
I mean, isn't he kind of like the Optimus Prime of evil...
[sighs] Well, I'm an actual virgin, - Clerks III 00:07
[sighs] Well, I'm an actual virgin,