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Maybe the Bad Thief thought Jesus had a Bourne Identity thing going on
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Clerks III

Maybe the Bad Thief thought Jesushad a Bourne Identity thing going on, like Jesus fell off...

Maybe the Bad Thief thought Jesus
had a Bourne Identity thing going on, like Jesus fell off a boat, hit his head
and caught amnesia

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.992
Maybe the Bad Thief thought Jesus had a Bourne Identity thing going on,
00:00:04.087 --> 00:00:07.033
like Jesus fell off a boat, hit his head and caught amnesia.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
65
Timestamp in Movie
00:11:37
Uploaded
May 03, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
View Askew Productions,BondIt Media Capital,Lionsgate,TPC

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Movie Summary

Dante, Elias, and Jay and Silent Bob are enlisted by Randal after a heart attack to make a movie about the convenience store that started it all.
"He was born in a manger. Now he's Bourne again. - Clerks III 00:05
"He was born in a manger. Now he's Bourne again.
Matt Damon is Jesus Bourne - Clerks III 00:11
Matt Damon is Jesus Bourne
I can't catch my breath man - Clerks III 00:11
I can't catch my breath man
- You said you can't breathe! - [breathes heavily] - Clerks III 00:06
- You said you can't breathe! - [breathes heavily]
- I'm trying to breathe. - You're really sweating, Randal. - Clerks III 00:04
- I'm trying to breathe. - You're really sweating,...
[siren wailing] - Clerks III 00:11
[siren wailing]
Well, if you know what's wrong, then I guess I can go home. - Clerks III 00:05
Well, if you know what's wrong, then I guess I can go h...
[cackling madly] - Clerks III 00:05
[cackling madly]
I apologize for my wardrobe. I just came from a costume ball. - Clerks III 00:04
I apologize for my wardrobe. I just came from a costume ball...
You're having a heart attack right now as we speak, - Clerks III 00:06
You're having a heart attack right now as we speak,
I'm going to go get all glammed up for our big date - Clerks III 00:04
I'm going to go get all glammed up for our big date
♪ Shave and a haircut, two bits ♪ - Clerks III 00:14
♪ Shave and a haircut, two bits ♪
Surgery? No! The doctor just said I'm going to the O.R. - Clerks III 00:04
Surgery? No! The doctor just said I'm going to the O.R.
Right, which is short for operating room, - Clerks III 00:06
Right, which is short for operating room,
She's going to thread a camera through his femoral artery - Clerks III 00:06
She's going to thread a camera through his femoral arte...
So I gotta shave you. Or I get to shave you, - Clerks III 00:07
So I gotta shave you. Or I get to shave you,
So as the wife says at 10:00 pm. after Dateline every single week... - Clerks III 00:06
So as the wife says at 10:00 pm. after Dateline every single...
I gotta shave your groin, sir, so underwear too. - Clerks III 00:04
I gotta shave your groin, sir, so underwear too.
We're running out of time here to save your life. So come on, let's go. - Clerks III 00:04
We're running out of time here to save your life. So co...
Can you avert your eyes, block your ears and sing something, please? - Clerks III 00:04
Can you avert your eyes, block your ears and sing something,...