Everything I think and everything I do is wrong. I was wrong about Elton, I was wrong...

Cher: Everything I think and everything I do is wrong. I was wrong about Elton, I was wrong about Christian, and now Josh hated me. It all boiled down to one inevitable conclusion, I was just totally clueless. Oh, and this Josh and Tai thing was wigging me more than anything. I mean, what was my problem? Tai is my pal, I don't begrudge her a boyfriend, I really... Ooh, I wonder if they have that in my size. What does she want with Josh, anyway? He dresses funny, he listens to complaint rock, he's not even cute... in a conventional way. I mean, he's just like this slug who hangs around the house all the time. And he's a hideous dancer, I couldn't take him anywhere. Wait a second, what am I stressing about? This is like, Josh! OK, OK, so he's kind of a baldwin, but what would he want with Tai? She couldn't make him happy. Josh needed someone with imagination, someone to take care of him, someone to laugh at his jokes... in case he ever makes any. Then suddenly...

Everything I think and everything I do is wrong. I was wrong about Elton, I was wrong about Christian... now Josh hated me. It all boiled down to one inevitable conclusion: I was just totally clueless. Oh, and this Josh and Tai thing was wigging me more than anything. I mean, what was my problem? Tai is my pal. I don't begrudge her a boyfriend. I really... I wonder if they have that in my size. What does she want with Josh anyway? He dresses funny, he listens to complaint rock he's not even cute in a conventional way. I mean, he's just like this slug who hangs around the house all the time. And he's a hideous dancer. Couldn't take him anywhere. Wait a second, what am I stressing about? This is, like, Josh. Okay, so he is kind of a Baldwin. But what would he want with Tai? She couldn't make him happy. Josh needs someone with imagination, someone to take care of him. Someone to laugh at his jokes, in case he ever makes any. Then suddenly... Oh, my God! l love Josh. I am majorly, totally, butt crazy in love with Josh! But now I don't know how to act around him. Ordinarily, I'd strut around him in my cutest little outfits and send myself flowers and candy but I couldn't do that stuff with Josh. -What's with you? -What do you mean? You're so quiet. Haven't made me watch The Real World. l care about the news. -Since when? -Since now. ...retaliation for recent government successes in central Bosnia. You look confused. Well, l thought they declared peace in the Middle East. -Cher, get in here. -What's up, Daddy? What are you doing dancing in front of my office? Nothing. l just wanted to see if you need any help with anything. Yeah, you could help me with something. Come over here. All right. Every time that you see a telephone conversation that took place on September 3, highlight it. -Just September 3. -Okay. lt's fun?