That's why I only drink the beer

Garth, Kevin Tuerff and others:
It's hot outside, so we stay in the bar and make small talk with Matty, the owner, and his wife, Brenda. Ali, Kevin Jung and others:
But we're not sure how much to say. You just don't know where the red states are in a foreign country, right? Garth, Kevin Tuerff and others:
But we had been drinking all afternoon and I accidentally say something like Kevin and I have been together for almost five years. Ali, Kevin Jung and others:
In business. We've been together In business. I'm his sexy-tary. Secretary! Garth, Kevin Tuerff and others:
[pause]
It feels like the entire bar goes silent. Ali, Kevin Jung and others:
I'm like, oh God. Garth, Kevin Tuerff and others:
And then Matty says... Oz Fudge and others:
You're... gay? Ali, Kevin Jung and others:
I'm about to pass out. Garth, Kevin Tuerff and others:
But then Matty says... Oz Fudge and others:
Well praise be to God. My daughter's gay. Garth, Kevin Tuerff and others:
And then Brenda says... Diane Gray and others:
Sure, my sister's gay. And the woman across the road just ran off with her best friend. Garth, Kevin Tuerff and others:
And then Brenda's brother says... Claude Elliott and others:
Our uncle is 68 years old, and he just told us he's a bixsexual. Garth, Kevin Tuerff and others:
[pause]
We somehow ended up in the gayest town in Newfoundland. Kevin and I are looking at each other; I even think I say, There must be something in the water. And then Brenda's brother says... Claude Elliott and others:
That's why I only drink the beer