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But the cold truth of it
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Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis

But the cold truth of it -- the cold truth of itis that good reviews in The New Yorkerand...

But the cold truth of it -- the cold truth of it
is that good reviews in The New Yorker
and Oscar nominations that -- that you lose to the fucking Farmer's Insurance pitchman
J.K. Simmons

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.655
But the cold truth of it --
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the cold truth of it is that good reviews
00:00:05.069 --> 00:00:07.069
in The New Yorker and Oscar nominations that --
00:00:07.069 --> 00:00:09.035
that you lose to the fucking
00:00:09.035 --> 00:00:11.586
Farmer's Insurance pitchman J.K. Simmons...
Duration
12 seconds
Views
37
Timestamp in Movie
00:35:49
Uploaded
Jun 26, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Comedy Central

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Movie Summary

Traditional comedy 'roast' where celebrities, comics and friends poke fun at actor Bruce Willis.
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:13
[ Laughter ]
It's not that I'm jealous, but, Jesus, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
It's not that I'm jealous, but, Jesus,
I mean, can I cock my eye and say some cryptic shit - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:10
I mean, can I cock my eye and say some cryptic shit
I was sitting in a bar with Bruce - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:17
I was sitting in a bar with Bruce
I had no idea why. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
I had no idea why.
I still don't know what he thought of the script, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
I still don't know what he thought of the script,
Can I -- Can I say things like, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:26
Can I -- Can I say things like,
I most definitely cannot. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
I most definitely cannot.
I wish I was Teflon like you, but, then again, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
I wish I was Teflon like you, but, then again,
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:27
[ Laughter ]
No, I act my fucking ass off. Quentin never calls me. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
No, I act my fucking ass off. Quentin never calls me.
You know what I wouldn't give for the opportunity - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
You know what I wouldn't give for the opportunity
By the way -- By the way, when Wes Anderson calls him -- - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
By the way -- By the way, when Wes Anderson calls him --
Everyone in the cast stayed in a little house together. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
Everyone in the cast stayed in a little house together.
We did our own hair, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
We did our own hair,
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
[ Laughter ]
When Wes said, "Do you think Bruce understands - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
When Wes said, "Do you think Bruce understands
That's a fuckin' movie star." - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
That's a fuckin' movie star."
I got acclaim, but I -- - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:10
I got acclaim, but I --
I'm not making any more movies unless they go straight to DVD." - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:10
I'm not making any more movies unless they go straight ...