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Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis

If you had donethat movie today, you would not only havegotten an Oscar, you would get a...

[ Cheers and applause ] If you had done
that movie today, you would not only have
gotten an Oscar, you would get a cabinet position
in the White House

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.345
[ Cheers and applause ]
00:00:03.345 --> 00:00:05.104
If you had done that movie today,
00:00:05.104 --> 00:00:07.931
you would not only have gotten an Oscar,
00:00:07.931 --> 00:00:10.656
you would get a cabinet position in the White House.
Duration
11 seconds
Views
29
Timestamp in Movie
00:26:37
Uploaded
Jun 26, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Comedy Central

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Movie Summary

Traditional comedy 'roast' where celebrities, comics and friends poke fun at actor Bruce Willis.
[ Laughter, cheers and applause ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:10
[ Laughter, cheers and applause ]
I had the honor of playing Martha in two separate movies. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
I had the honor of playing Martha in two separate movies.
I did my best, but the only one to truly capture Martha Stewart - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
I did my best, but the only one to truly capture Martha Stew...
And then there's Dom Irrera - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
And then there's Dom Irrera
Two minutes after I met him, he was hittin' on me. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
Two minutes after I met him, he was hittin' on me.
I had to tell him, "Sorry, the last time I had sex - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:12
I had to tell him, "Sorry, the last time I had sex
He didn't just live in one. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
He didn't just live in one.
I saw her from behind, with her slender body and blond hair, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:18
I saw her from behind, with her slender body and blond hair,
I played a former model, which I was. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
I played a former model, which I was.
Bruce and I were really attracted to each other, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:09
Bruce and I were really attracted to each other,
Because based on how much we ended up hating each other, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
Because based on how much we ended up hating each other,
We actually came very close one time to having sex. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
We actually came very close one time to having sex.
But then he whipped it out, started playing with it, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
But then he whipped it out, started playing with it,
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:13
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:10
[ Laughter ]
I know we haven't had a conversation in 30 years, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:09
I know we haven't had a conversation in 30 years,
[ Cheers and applause ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:11
[ Cheers and applause ]
He provided the comic relief in "Get Out," - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
He provided the comic relief in "Get Out,"
[ Cheers and applause ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:15
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:14
[ Laughter ]