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Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis

I am here to doa deep dissection of how the fucking bartenderfrom New Jersey became such a...

I am here to do
a deep dissection of how the fucking bartender
from New Jersey became such a big titty
of a global movie star

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.655
I am here to do a deep dissection
00:00:04.655 --> 00:00:07.241
of how the fucking bartender from New Jersey
00:00:07.241 --> 00:00:10.241
became such a big titty of a global movie star.
Duration
10 seconds
Views
31
Timestamp in Movie
00:34:56
Uploaded
Jun 26, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Comedy Central

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Movie Summary

Traditional comedy 'roast' where celebrities, comics and friends poke fun at actor Bruce Willis.
[ Cheers and applause ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:16
[ Cheers and applause ]
I'm now coming to realize in middle age, um, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:15
I'm now coming to realize in middle age, um,
I mean, if I -- if I end up settling - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:12
I mean, if I -- if I end up settling
But the cold truth of it -- - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:12
But the cold truth of it --
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:13
[ Laughter ]
It's not that I'm jealous, but, Jesus, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
It's not that I'm jealous, but, Jesus,
I mean, can I cock my eye and say some cryptic shit - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:10
I mean, can I cock my eye and say some cryptic shit
I was sitting in a bar with Bruce - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:17
I was sitting in a bar with Bruce
I had no idea why. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
I had no idea why.
I still don't know what he thought of the script, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
I still don't know what he thought of the script,
Can I -- Can I say things like, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:26
Can I -- Can I say things like,
I most definitely cannot. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
I most definitely cannot.
I wish I was Teflon like you, but, then again, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
I wish I was Teflon like you, but, then again,
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:27
[ Laughter ]
No, I act my fucking ass off. Quentin never calls me. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
No, I act my fucking ass off. Quentin never calls me.
You know what I wouldn't give for the opportunity - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
You know what I wouldn't give for the opportunity
By the way -- By the way, when Wes Anderson calls him -- - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
By the way -- By the way, when Wes Anderson calls him --
Everyone in the cast stayed in a little house together. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
Everyone in the cast stayed in a little house together.
We did our own hair, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
We did our own hair,
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
[ Laughter ]