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I never thought I'd be spending a Saturday night thinking
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Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis

I never thought I'd be spendinga Saturday night thinking, "Fuck, I hopeI can follow Martha...

I never thought I'd be spending
a Saturday night thinking, "Fuck, I hope
I can follow Martha Stewart." [ Laughter ]

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.966
I never thought I'd be spending a Saturday night thinking,
00:00:02.966 --> 00:00:05.379
"Fuck, I hope I can follow Martha Stewart."
00:00:05.379 --> 00:00:07.173
[ Laughter ]
Duration
7 seconds
Views
30
Timestamp in Movie
00:51:37
Uploaded
Jun 26, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Comedy Central

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Movie Summary

Traditional comedy 'roast' where celebrities, comics and friends poke fun at actor Bruce Willis.
I've never seen anybody roast somebody else - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
I've never seen anybody roast somebody else
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
[ Laughter ]
And I got to tell you, it's an honor to meet you. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
And I got to tell you, it's an honor to meet you.
[ Cheers and applause ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
[ Cheers and applause ]
If you were Kevin's wife, you could fuck - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
If you were Kevin's wife, you could fuck
Just picture that little, pathetic, little pool of jizz - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
Just picture that little, pathetic, little pool of jizz
It's fuckin' killing me over here. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
It's fuckin' killing me over here.
Edward Norton, Ed, hey, you did a movie called "Primal Fear." - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:10
Edward Norton, Ed, hey, you did a movie called "Primal ...
It this thing on? Is this on? - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
It this thing on? Is this on?
Actually, he dated Courtney Love, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
Actually, he dated Courtney Love,
Cybill Shepherd, first of all, Cybill, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
Cybill Shepherd, first of all, Cybill,
You fuckin' -- - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
You fuckin' --
In her first film, "Last Picture Show," - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
In her first film, "Last Picture Show,"
Today, we call that a "Me Four." - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
Today, we call that a "Me Four."
What kind of God would let that happen? - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
What kind of God would let that happen?
Jeff just bought a new house - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
Jeff just bought a new house
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
[ Laughter ]
Yesterday, he walked into a Starbucks, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:12
Yesterday, he walked into a Starbucks,
Congratulations on the roast, man, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:16
Congratulations on the roast, man,