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I've been attacked by terrorists, asteroids
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Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis

I've been attackedby terrorists, asteroids, film critics, music critics,restaurant...

I've been attacked
by terrorists, asteroids, film critics, music critics,
restaurant critics, divorce lawyers,
male-pattern baldness, and none of it --
none of it stopped me because I am still
Bruce Fuckin' Willis

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.517
I've been attacked by terrorists, asteroids,
00:00:03.517 --> 00:00:07.483
film critics, music critics, restaurant critics,
00:00:07.483 --> 00:00:11.001
divorce lawyers, male-pattern baldness,
00:00:11.001 --> 00:00:13.414
and none of it -- none of it stopped me
00:00:13.414 --> 00:00:17.448
because I am still Bruce Fuckin' Willis.
Duration
17 seconds
Views
29
Timestamp in Movie
01:20:57
Uploaded
Jun 26, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Comedy Central

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Movie Summary

Traditional comedy 'roast' where celebrities, comics and friends poke fun at actor Bruce Willis.
People ask me why I did this roast. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
People ask me why I did this roast.
Was it because one of the last guys who did it - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
Was it because one of the last guys who did it
Why would I want to be president - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
Why would I want to be president
[ Cheers and applause ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
[ Cheers and applause ]
I did this roast for one reason and for one reason only -- - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:09
I did this roast for one reason and for one reason only --
Now, please, listen very carefully. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
Now, please, listen very carefully.
[ Cheers and applause ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
[ Cheers and applause ]
So, yippee ki-yay to all of you motherfuckers. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
So, yippee ki-yay to all of you motherfuckers.
My favorite joke of the night was Jeff Ross, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
My favorite joke of the night was Jeff Ross,
Ross: I had no idea Demi Moore - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
Ross: I had no idea Demi Moore
I thought something was gonna dislocate my jaw - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
I thought something was gonna dislocate my jaw
It was going like this. I was like [Grunts] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
It was going like this. I was like [Grunts]