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Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis

The script of his last threefilms was crinkle your forehead, say short, memorable quip,no...

[ Laughter ] The script of his last three
films was crinkle your forehead, say short, memorable quip,
no more than four words, shoot the gun, duck,
repeat, the end

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.828
[ Laughter ]
00:00:02.828 --> 00:00:06.207
The script of his last three films was crinkle your forehead,
00:00:06.207 --> 00:00:08.621
say short, memorable quip, no more than four words,
00:00:08.621 --> 00:00:10.038
shoot the gun, duck, repeat, the end.
Duration
10 seconds
Views
43
Timestamp in Movie
00:41:08
Uploaded
Jun 26, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Comedy Central

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Movie Summary

Traditional comedy 'roast' where celebrities, comics and friends poke fun at actor Bruce Willis.
It's a half a page long. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
It's a half a page long.
You could learn your lines in the car on the way to the set. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
You could learn your lines in the car on the way to the set.
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
[ Laughter ]
I have to start going for scripts - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
I have to start going for scripts
And then I could get a G-5, a Caribbean island, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
And then I could get a G-5, a Caribbean island,
At the end of the day, though, I've come to think, actually, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:12
At the end of the day, though, I've come to think, actu...
And, frankly, I -- - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
And, frankly, I --
It's totally hypnotic to men and women alike. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
It's totally hypnotic to men and women alike.
And, uh, men and women are both comfortable with it. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
And, uh, men and women are both comfortable with it.
They think it's funny, a little scary, a little sexy. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
They think it's funny, a little scary, a little sexy.
It's a rare thing, and I know, because I tried to emulate you - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
It's a rare thing, and I know, because I tried to emula...
And, um, it's probably the closest any actor - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
And, um, it's probably the closest any actor
But -- But the movie made less money than you made - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:09
But -- But the movie made less money than you made
You got to work with Paul Newman, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
You got to work with Paul Newman,
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
[ Laughter ]
I think I have to accept I will never be - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
I think I have to accept I will never be
No matter how good I am, no matter how committed, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
No matter how good I am, no matter how committed,
There is nobody else like you, damn it. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
There is nobody else like you, damn it.
Nobody. Um, joking aside... - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
Nobody. Um, joking aside...
I was doing a play many years ago in New York, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
I was doing a play many years ago in New York,