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Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis

But seriously, could I everleave a movie set after my close-ups are done and leave every...

[ Laughter ] But seriously, could I ever
leave a movie set after my close-ups are done and leave every one
of my co-stars for the last 30 years
to act their scenes looking at a C-stand
with a red "X" taped to it, listening to the 60-year-old
script girl reading the John McClane
lines to them and still have directors like
Quentin Tarantino call me?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.172
[ Laughter ]
00:00:05.345 --> 00:00:08.241
But seriously, could I ever leave a movie set
00:00:08.241 --> 00:00:09.966
after my close-ups are done
00:00:09.966 --> 00:00:11.586
and leave every one of my co-stars
00:00:11.586 --> 00:00:13.069
for the last 30 years to act their scenes
00:00:13.069 --> 00:00:17.414
looking at a C-stand with a red "X" taped to it,
00:00:17.414 --> 00:00:19.483
listening to the 60-year-old script girl
00:00:19.483 --> 00:00:22.483
reading the John McClane lines to them
00:00:22.483 --> 00:00:26.621
and still have directors like Quentin Tarantino call me?
Duration
27 seconds
Views
42
Timestamp in Movie
00:37:45
Uploaded
Jun 26, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Comedy Central

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Movie Summary

Traditional comedy 'roast' where celebrities, comics and friends poke fun at actor Bruce Willis.
No, I act my fucking ass off. Quentin never calls me. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
No, I act my fucking ass off. Quentin never calls me.
You know what I wouldn't give for the opportunity - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
You know what I wouldn't give for the opportunity
By the way -- By the way, when Wes Anderson calls him -- - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
By the way -- By the way, when Wes Anderson calls him --
Everyone in the cast stayed in a little house together. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
Everyone in the cast stayed in a little house together.
We did our own hair, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
We did our own hair,
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
[ Laughter ]
When Wes said, "Do you think Bruce understands - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
When Wes said, "Do you think Bruce understands
That's a fuckin' movie star." - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
That's a fuckin' movie star."
I got acclaim, but I -- - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:10
I got acclaim, but I --
I'm not making any more movies unless they go straight to DVD." - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:10
I'm not making any more movies unless they go straight ...
No way. If I pulled that, my ass would be out in the cold, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:17
No way. If I pulled that, my ass would be out in the cold,
Was it your training? No. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
Was it your training? No.
You didn't go to candy-ass acting class for training. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
You didn't go to candy-ass acting class for training.
You did mounds of cocaine and tended bar - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
You did mounds of cocaine and tended bar
[ Audience cheers ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
[ Audience cheers ]
Mine still makes people think of Eddie Murphy - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
Mine still makes people think of Eddie Murphy
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
[ Laughter ]
I look for roles that stretch me and are different, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
I look for roles that stretch me and are different,
And I mean, like, the same one every fucking time. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
And I mean, like, the same one every fucking time.
I did a big action movie called "The Incredible Hulk." - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
I did a big action movie called "The Incredible Hulk.&q...