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No way. If I pulled that, my ass would be out in the cold
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Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis

No way. If I pulled that, my asswould be out in the cold, and they'd be callingJoseph...

No way. If I pulled that, my ass
would be out in the cold, and they'd be calling
Joseph "Three Name" Levitt for "Fight Club 2." [ Laughter ] I couldn't make "Hudson Hawk"
and literally work ever again for a single day

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.103
No way. If I pulled that, my ass would be out in the cold,
00:00:04.103 --> 00:00:06.034
and they'd be calling Joseph "Three Name" Levitt
00:00:06.034 --> 00:00:07.793
for "Fight Club 2."
00:00:07.793 --> 00:00:10.931
[ Laughter ]
00:00:10.931 --> 00:00:13.758
I couldn't make "Hudson Hawk" and literally work ever again
00:00:13.758 --> 00:00:16.827
for a single day.
Duration
17 seconds
Views
38
Timestamp in Movie
00:39:30
Uploaded
Jun 26, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Comedy Central

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Movie Summary

Traditional comedy 'roast' where celebrities, comics and friends poke fun at actor Bruce Willis.
Was it your training? No. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
Was it your training? No.
You didn't go to candy-ass acting class for training. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
You didn't go to candy-ass acting class for training.
You did mounds of cocaine and tended bar - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
You did mounds of cocaine and tended bar
[ Audience cheers ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
[ Audience cheers ]
Mine still makes people think of Eddie Murphy - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
Mine still makes people think of Eddie Murphy
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
[ Laughter ]
I look for roles that stretch me and are different, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
I look for roles that stretch me and are different,
And I mean, like, the same one every fucking time. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
And I mean, like, the same one every fucking time.
I did a big action movie called "The Incredible Hulk." - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
I did a big action movie called "The Incredible Hulk.&q...
I thought maybe we should try to make one Marvel movie - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
I thought maybe we should try to make one Marvel movie
The last thing Bruce Willis would demand is a better script. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
The last thing Bruce Willis would demand is a better script.
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:10
[ Laughter ]
It's a half a page long. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
It's a half a page long.
You could learn your lines in the car on the way to the set. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
You could learn your lines in the car on the way to the set.
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
[ Laughter ]
I have to start going for scripts - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
I have to start going for scripts
And then I could get a G-5, a Caribbean island, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
And then I could get a G-5, a Caribbean island,
At the end of the day, though, I've come to think, actually, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:12
At the end of the day, though, I've come to think, actu...
And, frankly, I -- - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
And, frankly, I --
It's totally hypnotic to men and women alike. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
It's totally hypnotic to men and women alike.