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Um, I'm not really a
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Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis

Um, I'm not really a -- like, a niche takedown comiclike Jeff Ross or -- or a three-name...

Um, I'm not really a -- like, a niche takedown comic
like Jeff Ross or -- or a three-name suck-up like
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, but

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.381
Um, I'm not really a --
00:00:03.381 --> 00:00:06.794
like, a niche takedown comic like Jeff Ross or --
00:00:06.794 --> 00:00:11.036
or a three-name suck-up like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, but...
Duration
11 seconds
Views
28
Timestamp in Movie
00:34:37
Uploaded
Jun 26, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Comedy Central

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Movie Summary

Traditional comedy 'roast' where celebrities, comics and friends poke fun at actor Bruce Willis.
I'm here to do something I think maybe only I can do - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
I'm here to do something I think maybe only I can do
I am here to do a deep dissection - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:10
I am here to do a deep dissection
[ Cheers and applause ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:16
[ Cheers and applause ]
I'm now coming to realize in middle age, um, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:15
I'm now coming to realize in middle age, um,
I mean, if I -- if I end up settling - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:12
I mean, if I -- if I end up settling
But the cold truth of it -- - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:12
But the cold truth of it --
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:13
[ Laughter ]
It's not that I'm jealous, but, Jesus, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
It's not that I'm jealous, but, Jesus,
I mean, can I cock my eye and say some cryptic shit - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:10
I mean, can I cock my eye and say some cryptic shit
I was sitting in a bar with Bruce - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:17
I was sitting in a bar with Bruce
I had no idea why. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
I had no idea why.
I still don't know what he thought of the script, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:06
I still don't know what he thought of the script,
Can I -- Can I say things like, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:26
Can I -- Can I say things like,
I most definitely cannot. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:04
I most definitely cannot.
I wish I was Teflon like you, but, then again, - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
I wish I was Teflon like you, but, then again,
[ Laughter ] - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:27
[ Laughter ]
No, I act my fucking ass off. Quentin never calls me. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
No, I act my fucking ass off. Quentin never calls me.
You know what I wouldn't give for the opportunity - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:08
You know what I wouldn't give for the opportunity
By the way -- By the way, when Wes Anderson calls him -- - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:07
By the way -- By the way, when Wes Anderson calls him --
Everyone in the cast stayed in a little house together. - Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis 00:05
Everyone in the cast stayed in a little house together.