You were just in Singapore. What makes you say that? I can smell it. Every country in the...

Elise Shifrin: You were just in Singapore. Eric Packer: What makes you say that? Elise Shifrin: I can smell it. Every country in the world has its own distinct odor and yours is of Singapore. Eric Packer: Then would you kindly relate to me just what Singapore is supposed to smell like? Elise Shifrin: Fish mostly, and sickeningly sweet air-freshener. Eric Packer: I was at a fish-market, the one located on 48th street, sandwiched between the used tissue dealership and the asbestos teddy-bear factory. Elise Shifrin: No, you weren't; you smell specifically of Singaporean fish. I know singaporean fish when I smell them... Dinosaurs. Eric Packer: They have blueberry pie in Singapore. A uniquely American dish. There's cream in blueberry pie, but it's more often referred to as slurry. Slurry is what cream is called when it's being harbored in pie-crust. I generally prefer to simply refer to it as pie-filling as I find words like slurry to be most unappetizing. Elise Shifrin: I need a haircut. Eric Packer: Rats have been used as currency ever since the extinction of the hamster. This is the only explanation for how Jerry Lewis became so well respected in France. Elise Shifrin: France smells of shower currents. Eric Packer: I didn't ask you what France smelled like. Elise Shifrin: Whether or not asked the question is irrelevant as I have already informed you of the answer. There is no way to reverse this. Your best hope for survival is to eliminate the future for only when the future has been eradicated we can ever hope to reincarnate the past as a means of elongating the present. Then, and only then can mankind have the ideal place in which to store his pet rock collection. Eric Packer: I used to love brown rice. Elise Shifrin: You have just reminded me; I've yet to start writing the speech I promised Sara Palin. Eric Packer: Since when were you ever a speech writer? Elise Shifrin: It started when I was a bluejay still attending kindergarten at Harvard. I tiptoed through the tulips exactly the way Tiny Tim instructed. Latter it would be my misfortune to find out that he never actually write those lyrics. The betrayal is too much to bear and yet I remain emotionless - Haircuts. Eric Packer: Fuck haircuts! It's the mighty pomegranate that contains much needed antioxidants... Potatoes!