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Count Abdulla

Sitcom following a British Pakistani Muslim junior doctor based in London who is bitten by a halal-hunting vampire.

Director

N/A

Year

Genre

comedy, fantasy, horror

Production

Fudge Park Productions

Awards

N/A

Homepage

https://www.itv.com/watch/count-abdulla/10a3156

Abdulla

Kathy

Bushra

Amrita

Manpreet Bambra

Shafi

Nahima

Maajid

Frank

Charles

Ruby

Yazan

Chris

Rishi

Surgeon

Shakeel

Rashid

Bhupinder

Uncle Jabbar

Preethi

Fraser

Simran

Maitre D'

Jaswinder

Air Hostess

Auntie Gurinder

Marcus

Airport Passerby

Omar Alboukharey

Coven Vampire

Coven Vampire

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Explore 518 Clips

FAST-PACED MUSIC - Count Abdulla

FAST-PACED MUSIC

Amrita? You didn't tell us
you had a boyfriend. - Count Abdulla

Amrita? You didn't tell us you had a boyfriend.

Abs? Abs! - Count Abdulla

Er, Ab...
It's Abhijeet! His name's Abhijeet. - Count Abdulla

Er, Ab... It's Abhijeet! His name's Abhijeet.

SLURPING - Count Abdulla

I was just, er, looking
for single, sexy Muslim boys. - Count Abdulla

I was just, er, looking for single, sexy Muslim boys.

Right, erm... - Count Abdulla

MONITOR BEEPS - Count Abdulla

ISLAMIC SINGING
GROWS LOUDER - Count Abdulla

ISLAMIC SINGING GROWS LOUDER

HE MOANS - Count Abdulla

I can't tell my Sikh sister I've got
a Muslim boyfriend, now, can I? - Count Abdulla

I can't tell my Sikh sister I've got a Muslim boyf...

I'm sorry, Mr Abdulla. - Count Abdulla

I'm sorry, Mr Abdulla.

PLEADS IN ARABIC - Count Abdulla

PLEADS IN ARABIC

THEY CHUCKLE - Count Abdulla

You two loverbirds
can talk all you want later, - Count Abdulla

You two loverbirds can talk all you want later,

SHE HISSES - Count Abdulla

Erm, the drug test was inconclusive, - Count Abdulla

Erm, the drug test was inconclusive,

You? You, or my... or my own mum? - Count Abdulla

You? You, or my... or my own mum?

WIND BLOWS - Count Abdulla

Oh, come on, you can do a few rounds
with us, Abhijeet, - Count Abdulla

Oh, come on, you can do a few rounds with us, Abhijeet,

I know I can't remember
every detail, - Count Abdulla

I know I can't remember every detail,

Ya Allah, I'm a fucking vampire,
what do I do, Amrita? - Count Abdulla

Ya Allah, I'm a fucking vampire, what do I do, Amrita?

But the, er,
STI test did come back negative. - Count Abdulla

But the, er, STI test did come back negative.

Bro, men like us can't be afraid
of anything. You feel me? - Count Abdulla

Bro, men like us can't be afraid of anything. You feel ...

So, a few more days under obs
and we can discharge. - Count Abdulla

So, a few more days under obs and we can discharge.

HE GROANS
This vampirism malarkey! - Count Abdulla

HE GROANS This vampirism malarkey!

MAJ TUTS
Look, what you got to be afraid of - Count Abdulla

MAJ TUTS Look, what you got to be afraid of

Oh, no, no, no, no.
I... I brought my own. - Count Abdulla

Oh, no, no, no, no. I... I brought my own.

Please tell me that you found
at least one girl mad enough - Count Abdulla

Please tell me that you found at least one girl mad enough

Ghouls?
MAJ CHUCKLES - Count Abdulla

Ghouls? MAJ CHUCKLES

Can I go out in the sun,
like in Twilight, - Count Abdulla

Can I go out in the sun, like in Twilight,

Oh, Abs, that's not...
It's a... a moonshine. - Count Abdulla

Oh, Abs, that's not... It's a... a moonshine.

Look, I didn't know
if I was gonna take it, - Count Abdulla

Look, I didn't know if I was gonna take it,

SHE GROANS
Can I be killed with silver - Count Abdulla

SHE GROANS Can I be killed with silver

Arrest...
There's an Islamophobic vampire - Count Abdulla

Arrest... There's an Islamophobic vampire

Or with a ghost, or a werewolf,
or I don't know, even like a...? - Count Abdulla

Or with a ghost, or a werewolf, or I don't know, even l...

A vampire?
MAJ SCREAMS - Count Abdulla

A vampire? MAJ SCREAMS

Who's gonna section me, bruv?
SHAFI SIGHS - Count Abdulla

Who's gonna section me, bruv? SHAFI SIGHS

Good Lord, Abdulla!
A Muslim, of all people, - Count Abdulla

Good Lord, Abdulla! A Muslim, of all people,

What about the... sunshine - Count Abdulla

What about the... sunshine

I mean, vampires can be ethical,
productive members of society. - Count Abdulla

I mean, vampires can be ethical, productive members of socie...

I mean, I've tried Jewish, Buddhist, - Count Abdulla

I mean, I've tried Jewish, Buddhist,

SIM GIGGLES - Count Abdulla

What, you got a problem
with a disabled person - Count Abdulla

What, you got a problem with a disabled person

Muslim blood or Halal blood...
BOTH GASP - Count Abdulla

Muslim blood or Halal blood... BOTH GASP

The white guy who loves horror,
respects my culture, - Count Abdulla

The white guy who loves horror, respects my culture,

Oh, OK, OK.
I told you I was busy. - Count Abdulla

Oh, OK, OK. I told you I was busy.

Tell me. Tell me how
I'm supposed to get a job - Count Abdulla

Tell me. Tell me how I'm supposed to get a job

I know you don't bang gym, yeah,
but even you are not weak enough - Count Abdulla

I know you don't bang gym, yeah, but even you are not w...

So, he's, like, straight, white,
South African AND woke?! - Count Abdulla

So, he's, like, straight, white, South African AND woke...

It's just so hard
to come by nowadays - Count Abdulla

It's just so hard to come by nowadays

HE GROANS - Count Abdulla

SHE CHUCKLES
Did you make the fatal mistake - Count Abdulla

SHE CHUCKLES Did you make the fatal mistake

BOLLYWOOD MUSIC - Count Abdulla

BOLLYWOOD MUSIC

And given your dating history,
surely you know how much damage - Count Abdulla

And given your dating history, surely you know how much dama...

BUT here's the catch...
bastard's visa's up, - Count Abdulla

BUT here's the catch... bastard's visa's up,

KNOCKING - Count Abdulla

But Halal virgin blood,
well, finding that is like... - Count Abdulla

But Halal virgin blood, well, finding that is like...

HE HISSES - Count Abdulla

The chastity belt you got me
has broken and... I can't pee. - Count Abdulla

The chastity belt you got me has broken and... I can't ...

But isn't it Ramadan?
The month of charity? - Count Abdulla

But isn't it Ramadan? The month of charity?

You don't get it. Come here.
SHE CHUCKLES - Count Abdulla

You don't get it. Come here. SHE CHUCKLES

Well, there's no better time
than now to give blood. - Count Abdulla

Well, there's no better time than now to give blood.

But if them vampires come for you, - Count Abdulla

But if them vampires come for you,

OK, either I'm much more pissed
than I thought I was, or... - Count Abdulla

OK, either I'm much more pissed than I thought I was, o...

A bite has one percent chance
of turning you, - Count Abdulla

A bite has one percent chance of turning you,

HISSES - Count Abdulla

Have you considered an STI test?
Guys! Guys! I'm fine, OK? - Count Abdulla

Have you considered an STI test? Guys! Guys! I'm fine, ...

I need a drink. - Count Abdulla

I need a drink.

Rabies. Porphyria. I mean,
Renfield's Syndrome, you've got... - Count Abdulla

Rabies. Porphyria. I mean, Renfield's Syndrome, you...

Look, I chundered raw blood
all over my mum's Indian food. - Count Abdulla

Look, I chundered raw blood all over my mum's Indian fo...

HE SCREAMS - Count Abdulla

I've spent the last few days
running away - Count Abdulla

I've spent the last few days running away

Justice! Justice! Justice!
HE GROANS - Count Abdulla

Justice! Justice! Justice! HE GROANS

HE WAILS - Count Abdulla

SHE GROANS - Count Abdulla

HIGH-PITCHED: Mummy!
HE SCREECHES - Count Abdulla

HIGH-PITCHED: Mummy! HE SCREECHES

Or has that imported
third-world blood made you lazy? - Count Abdulla

Or has that imported third-world blood made you lazy?

You know our rules.
Your Indian lover boy needs to go. - Count Abdulla

You know our rules. Your Indian lover boy needs to go.

I-I-I came late, like, you know,
saving lives and everything. - Count Abdulla

I-I-I came late, like, you know, saving lives and everything...

I mean...
SHE SIGHS - Count Abdulla

I mean... SHE SIGHS

SHE GASPS - Count Abdulla

Otherwise, we might have to step in. - Count Abdulla

Otherwise, we might have to step in.

Aren't YOU meant to be their doctor?
They were attacked. - Count Abdulla

Aren't YOU meant to be their doctor? They were attacked...

SHE HISSES,
THEY HISS - Count Abdulla

SHE HISSES, THEY HISS

There's literally
an angry coven of racist vampires - Count Abdulla

There's literally an angry coven of racist vampires

Maajid. Forever in our hearts,
the light when it was dark. - Count Abdulla

Maajid. Forever in our hearts, the light when it was dark.

What's this,
the Islamic Father Karras - Count Abdulla

What's this, the Islamic Father Karras

Well, yeah, but, I mean...
Look, just stay the night, OK? - Count Abdulla

Well, yeah, but, I mean... Look, just stay the night, OK?

There's something
that I wanna tell you, so just... - Count Abdulla

There's something that I wanna tell you, so just...

Count Abdulla poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Sitcom following a British Pakistani Muslim junior doctor based in London who is bitten by a halal-hunting vampire.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: N/A

Writer: Kaamil Shah

Production: Fudge Park Productions

Genre: comedy, fantasy, horror

Year: 2023

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 5.4

BoxOffice:

Released: 15 Jun 2023

Awards: N/A

Homepage: https://www.itv.com/watch/count-abdulla/10a3156