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Crackcoon

You know, for the chump change this cheap-asscounty's paying me, I oughta give up...

[music fades] You know, for the chump change this cheap-ass
county's paying me, I oughta give up doing
autopsies altogether

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.702
[music fades]
00:00:04.704 --> 00:00:06.405
You know, for the chump change
00:00:06.505 --> 00:00:08.541
this cheap-ass county's paying me,
00:00:08.607 --> 00:00:11.344
I oughta give up doing autopsies altogether.
Duration
12 seconds
Views
33
Timestamp in Movie
00:07:52
Uploaded
Apr 20, 2025
Genres
comedy, horror
Production
Fuzzy Monkey Films

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Movie Summary

A raccoon ingests a discarded synthetic drug and mutates into a vicious killer. It rampages through a mountain community, threatening campers, tourists, and residents. No one is safe from the monstrous raccoon's violent onslaught.
I mean, they'd still be wheeling in your gunshot victims, - Crackcoon 00:06
I mean, they'd still be wheeling in your gunshot victim...
I don't have to saw off the tops of their skulls. - Crackcoon 00:05
I don't have to saw off the tops of their skulls.
Especially when I think about her eyes, - Crackcoon 00:07
Especially when I think about her eyes,
It... it's like somebody stuffed little tiny oranges in there. - Crackcoon 00:06
It... it's like somebody stuffed little tiny oranges in...
Yeah, I... I can't believe the perp kept hitting her - Crackcoon 00:07
Yeah, I... I can't believe the perp kept hitting her
He kept stabbing her with the crack pipe - Crackcoon 00:05
He kept stabbing her with the crack pipe
What you're seeing is the effects - Crackcoon 00:07
What you're seeing is the effects
I think it's probably maybe a combination - Crackcoon 00:09
I think it's probably maybe a combination
And we know what bath salts does, - Crackcoon 00:11
And we know what bath salts does,
Right, like, uh, - Crackcoon 00:05
Right, like, uh,
[chuckles] Fucks 'em up and they don't even know it. - Crackcoon 00:05
[chuckles] Fucks 'em up and they don't even know i...
So fucked up on bath salts, - Crackcoon 00:06
So fucked up on bath salts,
[chuckles] I followed that case seriously - Crackcoon 00:07
[chuckles] I followed that case seriously
He bit her in the face, - Crackcoon 00:06
He bit her in the face,
He chomped all the flesh right off of her skull. - Crackcoon 00:05
He chomped all the flesh right off of her skull.
And sitting there on the curb, - Crackcoon 00:09
And sitting there on the curb,
I'm telling you, - Crackcoon 00:09
I'm telling you,
Well, the lab guys say they can't forecast - Crackcoon 00:11
Well, the lab guys say they can't forecast
I guess given all that, I... I'd understood - Crackcoon 00:07
I guess given all that, I... I'd understood
I actually enjoy making 'em look really nice - Crackcoon 00:09
I actually enjoy making 'em look really nice