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You couldn't hit the blue side of a red barn
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Crackcoon

You couldn't hitthe blue side of a red barn if you were standingright in front of it

You couldn't hit
the blue side of a red barn if you were standing
right in front of it

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.902
You couldn't hit the blue side of a red barn
00:00:03.998 --> 00:00:04.404
if you were standing right in front of it.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
44
Timestamp in Movie
00:36:34
Uploaded
Apr 20, 2025
Genres
comedy, horror
Production
Fuzzy Monkey Films

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Movie Summary

A raccoon ingests a discarded synthetic drug and mutates into a vicious killer. It rampages through a mountain community, threatening campers, tourists, and residents. No one is safe from the monstrous raccoon's violent onslaught.
Maybe she was hungry, wandering around the woods, - Crackcoon 00:06
Maybe she was hungry, wandering around the woods,
At least my mom ain't a big old whore - Crackcoon 00:09
At least my mom ain't a big old whore
A naked lady? [chuckles] - Crackcoon 00:06
A naked lady? [chuckles]
Uh, listen to me, you fucking troglodytes. - Crackcoon 00:05
Uh, listen to me, you fucking troglodytes.
I am telling you it's a killer raccoon, okay? - Crackcoon 00:06
I am telling you it's a killer raccoon, okay?
[foreboding music] - Crackcoon 00:06
[foreboding music]
-Get off my gun, boy. -Oh, forget you, pig fuckers. - Crackcoon 00:07
-Get off my gun, boy. -Oh, forget you, pig fuckers.
[whimpers] - Crackcoon 00:09
[whimpers]
[Jethro] Maybe it's one of those killer raccoons - Crackcoon 00:06
[Jethro] Maybe it's one of those killer raccoons
[bird squawking] - Crackcoon 00:09
[bird squawking]
[yells] - Crackcoon 00:12
[yells]
[raccoon warbles] - Crackcoon 00:21
[raccoon warbles]
[groans] - Crackcoon 00:14
[groans]
No, Jethro and Lenny went hunting - Crackcoon 00:06
No, Jethro and Lenny went hunting
Well, if you don't, she's gonna keep calling, - Crackcoon 00:07
Well, if you don't, she's gonna keep calling,
[telephone ringing] - Crackcoon 00:16
[telephone ringing]
Jesus likes Ozzy Osbourne. Jesus likes Ronnie James Dio. - Crackcoon 00:06
Jesus likes Ozzy Osbourne. Jesus likes Ronnie James Dio.
Ronnie James Dio was not a holy diver. - Crackcoon 00:05
Ronnie James Dio was not a holy diver.
He did, brother. He was besmirched. - Crackcoon 00:05
He did, brother. He was besmirched.
Behold, brothers and sisters, - Crackcoon 00:07
Behold, brothers and sisters,