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Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy

"I'm sorry for walkinglike this. I've got a UTI." Anyway, a chalazion is a horrible,...

"I'm sorry for walking
like this. I've got a UTI." [audience laughing] Anyway, a chalazion is a horrible, very
unpleasant eye infection

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.915
"I'm sorry for walking like this. I've got a UTI."
00:00:02.915 --> 00:00:06.048
[audience laughing]
00:00:07.136 --> 00:00:08.877
Anyway, a chalazion
00:00:08.877 --> 00:00:11.532
is a horrible, very unpleasant eye infection.
Duration
13 seconds
Views
30
Timestamp in Movie
00:36:34
Uploaded
Apr 09, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Green Mountain West

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Movie Summary

Ferguson returns to the spotlight and despite life's setbacks - his recent bout with an unknown calcified infection that plagued his eyeball, a nasty UTI, long covid, his fear of millennials, and having to tiptoe his comedy around foreign accents and his wife - Craig Ferguson is still so happy.
And it looks like a stye but it's not a stye. - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:05
And it looks like a stye but it's not a stye.
And I was like, oh, and I was in Scotland again - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:06
And I was like, oh, and I was in Scotland again
[audience laughing] - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:06
[audience laughing]
And I had to go and see the same doctor - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:06
And I had to go and see the same doctor
She went, "Oh, what's that?" - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:20
She went, "Oh, what's that?"
I better have another look at your penis just in case." - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:08
I better have another look at your penis just in case."
You had your chance, doctor." - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:10
You had your chance, doctor."
She said, "It looks like a stye." I went, "Okay." - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:09
She said, "It looks like a stye." I went, "Ok...
That'll take care of it." - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:12
That'll take care of it."
So I go and see my American doctor - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:06
So I go and see my American doctor
And I walk in and he looks at it and he goes, - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:13
And I walk in and he looks at it and he goes,
Looks like a stye." [audience laughing] - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:13
Looks like a stye." [audience laughing]
I'm gonna give you some American antibiotics." - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:35
I'm gonna give you some American antibiotics."
Hell yeah. Gimme some of those American antibiotics." - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:10
Hell yeah. Gimme some of those American antibiotics."
They came in a monster truck - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:07
They came in a monster truck
And Chuck Norris jumped out of the monster truck - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:06
And Chuck Norris jumped out of the monster truck
He opened his pants and a bald eagle flew out of his pants - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:13
He opened his pants and a bald eagle flew out of his pants
And they didn't work. [audience laughing] - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:09
And they didn't work. [audience laughing]
Like really worried and I start going on the internet - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:07
Like really worried and I start going on the internet
I ended up, for some reason, I don't know why, - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:11
I ended up, for some reason, I don't know why,