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Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy

She said, "I'm afraid, Craig, what do you haveis a chalazion." I said, "Well, what is it?

She said, "I'm afraid, Craig, what do you have
is a chalazion." I said, "Well, what is it?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.392
She said, "I'm afraid, Craig,
00:00:02.392 --> 00:00:03.741
what do you have is a chalazion."
00:00:03.741 --> 00:00:05.091
I said, "Well, what is it?
Duration
6 seconds
Views
30
Timestamp in Movie
00:44:43
Uploaded
Apr 09, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Green Mountain West

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Movie Summary

Ferguson returns to the spotlight and despite life's setbacks - his recent bout with an unknown calcified infection that plagued his eyeball, a nasty UTI, long covid, his fear of millennials, and having to tiptoe his comedy around foreign accents and his wife - Craig Ferguson is still so happy.
She said, "A chalazion, Craig, - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:07
She said, "A chalazion, Craig,
It blocks the tear duct and it gets infected. - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:06
It blocks the tear duct and it gets infected.
We pop the pus ball and the pus rolls down your cheek - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:10
We pop the pus ball and the pus rolls down your cheek
She said, "But your chalazion, - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:13
She said, "But your chalazion,
It has become like a little rock, - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:38
It has become like a little rock,
[audience laughing] - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:08
[audience laughing]
The eye is an extremely difficult place - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:06
The eye is an extremely difficult place
And she put a clamp in my eye - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:05
And she put a clamp in my eye
Which, it was like that movie "Clockwork Orange." - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:07
Which, it was like that movie "Clockwork Orange."
I love the idea of a touchy millennial - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:06
I love the idea of a touchy millennial
"Ah!" - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:19
"Ah!"
The little things, and she wriggled around in there - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:08
The little things, and she wriggled around in there
I went, "Ooh, that's good. Do the other side." - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:07
I went, "Ooh, that's good. Do the other side."...
[audience laughing] - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:24
[audience laughing]
You grew it yourself - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:09
You grew it yourself
[audience laughing] - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:10
[audience laughing]
I got the chalazion, I got it dried out, I got it varnished, - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:07
I got the chalazion, I got it dried out, I got it varnished,
[audience laughing] - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:06
[audience laughing]
And she said, "Wow, that's unusual. What's that?" - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:10
And she said, "Wow, that's unusual. What's th...
I said, "It's an Irish pearl." - Craig Ferguson: I'm So Happy 00:24
I said, "It's an Irish pearl."