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Crash Pad

A hopeless romantic thinks he's found true love with an older woman, only to learn that she's married and that his fling is merely an instrument of revenge against her neglectful husband.

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Indomitable Entertainment,Wonderful Films

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Explore 531 Clips

It's the same
puzzling dance every day! - Crash Pad

It's the same puzzling dance every day!

You're not the smartest,
you're not the coolest, - Crash Pad

You're not the smartest, you're not the coolest,

You've got something
that attracts the ladies. - Crash Pad

You've got something that attracts the ladies.

They don't know what it is,
you don't know what it is, - Crash Pad

They don't know what it is, you don't know what it...

And one day, you'll bloom
into a big, beautiful condor - Crash Pad

And one day, you'll bloom into a big, beautiful condor

"I can't believe that
used to be stensland,"
they'll say. - Crash Pad

"I can't believe that used to be stensland," ...

Go ahead. - Crash Pad

Stensland?
Oh, you are here. - Crash Pad

Stensland? Oh, you are here.

Morgan
dumped me, okay? - Crash Pad

Morgan dumped me, okay?

Don't make her sound
like Jessica tandy.
She's in her July. - Crash Pad

Don't make her sound like Jessica tandy. She's in ...

Whatever, man.
At least you got
sex without strings. - Crash Pad

Whatever, man. At least you got sex without strings.

I want commitment
and mutual adoration. - Crash Pad

I want commitment and mutual adoration.

I want the danger
of forgetting anniversaries - Crash Pad

I want the danger of forgetting anniversaries

I want a girlfriend, Lyle.
I know, I know. - Crash Pad

I want a girlfriend, Lyle. I know, I know.

I'm sorry
to change the subject, - Crash Pad

I'm sorry to change the subject,

No, I started
moving over to Linda's. - Crash Pad

No, I started moving over to Linda's.

I like you, too, buddy,
just not as much as Linda.
I love her. - Crash Pad

I like you, too, buddy, just not as much as Linda. I love he...

All right, well,
I'm out of here - Crash Pad

All right, well, I'm out of here

So find another roommate,
stens. - Crash Pad

So find another roommate, stens.

...life imitating
art imitating life? - Crash Pad

...life imitating art imitating life?

I think sometimes
you have to lose
somebody completely - Crash Pad

I think sometimes you have to lose somebody completely

Hi, it's me... - Crash Pad

My spiritual self
is still making an o-face. - Crash Pad

My spiritual self is still making an o-face.

That tiny taste of affection
has made it very evident to me - Crash Pad

That tiny taste of affection has made it very evident to me

Okay. I'm just surprised
the store gave you
this much time off. - Crash Pad

Okay. I'm just surprised the store gave you this much t...

This is more like
one of those self-allotted
time-out leaves, you know? - Crash Pad

This is more like one of those self-allotted time-out leaves...

Tomorrow's Monday?
Tomorrow's Monday.
Come on. - Crash Pad

Tomorrow's Monday? Tomorrow's Monday. Come on.

Shit. This chiba
is unforgiving. - Crash Pad

Shit. This chiba is unforgiving.

I was just
mulling a froyo break.
You want one? - Crash Pad

I was just mulling a froyo break. You want one?

You don't showing up one week,
no call, no nothing! - Crash Pad

You don't showing up one week, no call, no nothing!

Wait a minute,
are we doing a scene
from the pawnbroker? - Crash Pad

Wait a minute, are we doing a scene from the pawnbroker?

I need to work
on my communication skills,
that's clear. - Crash Pad

I need to work on my communication skills, that's clear...

But I'm pretty sure
i was already due
a vacation week, - Crash Pad

But I'm pretty sure i was already due a vacation week,

I think this varnish
may have turned, - Crash Pad

I think this varnish may have turned,

There's no other stensland.
How could you say that? - Crash Pad

There's no other stensland. How could you say that?

Mr. laframboise,
your assumption
that my absence - Crash Pad

Mr. laframboise, your assumption that my absence

I was sideswiped
by a nasty cyclone
known as "woman." - Crash Pad

I was sideswiped by a nasty cyclone known as "woman.&qu...

So, please, just give me
another chance. - Crash Pad

So, please, just give me another chance.

Moneypenny,
could you order us up
some sandwiches and lemonade? - Crash Pad

Moneypenny, could you order us up some sandwiches and lemona...

It's not a thing at all.
It's just a, um... - Crash Pad

It's not a thing at all. It's just a, um...

Okay.
Thanks, honey. - Crash Pad

Okay. Thanks, honey.

What do you want?
"What do you want?" - Crash Pad

What do you want? "What do you want?"

I'm no dildo you wipe off
and put back in the drawer. - Crash Pad

I'm no dildo you wipe off and put back in the drawer.

I still love you.
You love me, it's just...
What? - Crash Pad

I still love you. You love me, it's just... What?

Let's ride this
naughty little secret. - Crash Pad

Let's ride this naughty little secret.

Why? Isn't he cheating
on you, too? - Crash Pad

Why? Isn't he cheating on you, too?

I want $15,000,
or I'm gonna tell him. - Crash Pad

I want $15,000, or I'm gonna tell him.

I'm sorry, you're...
You're gonna
have to repeat that. - Crash Pad

I'm sorry, you're... You're gonna have to rep...

I demand you pay me $15,000, - Crash Pad

I demand you pay me $15,000,

"Stens," she says!
Using the abridged
pet name to disarm me. - Crash Pad

"Stens," she says! Using the abridged pet name to ...

I doubt he will believe
that I slept with you. - Crash Pad

I doubt he will believe that I slept with you.

Why? Did you
record us or something? - Crash Pad

Why? Did you record us or something?

No, but I have
evidence of passion. - Crash Pad

No, but I have evidence of passion.

"Kiss me between
my shoulder blades,
stensland." - Crash Pad

"Kiss me between my shoulder blades, stensland."

"Rub my ass like
this when you're going
down on me, stensland." - Crash Pad

"Rub my ass like this when you're going down on me...

Will this be
evidence enough - Crash Pad

Will this be evidence enough

I was looking for someone
to have an affair with, - Crash Pad

I was looking for someone to have an affair with,

He said a lot of stuff
that's none of your business. - Crash Pad

He said a lot of stuff that's none of your business.

You're going
to work it out?
Yeah. - Crash Pad

You're going to work it out? Yeah.

Kid, I hate to crush
your spirit here, - Crash Pad

Kid, I hate to crush your spirit here,

You're like my
little revenge marionette. - Crash Pad

You're like my little revenge marionette.

You haven't told him
diddly squat, have you? - Crash Pad

You haven't told him diddly squat, have you?

15 grand, sweetheart, - Crash Pad

15 grand, sweetheart,

Uh-oh. The little
pitcher has big ears.
Yenta, yenta. - Crash Pad

Uh-oh. The little pitcher has big ears. Yenta, yenta.

How much of that did you hear? - Crash Pad

How much of that did you hear?

Oh, Hannah,
i was in the store,
and I was depressed, - Crash Pad

Oh, Hannah, i was in the store, and I was depressed,

It's like, of course
i sleep with
the one guy on the planet - Crash Pad

It's like, of course i sleep with the one guy on the pl...

You already told Grady, so... - Crash Pad

You already told Grady, so...

No.
You haven't told Grady? - Crash Pad

No. You haven't told Grady?

Balls of wonder,
balls of might... - Crash Pad

Balls of wonder, balls of might...

Law offices
of dott and rosen. - Crash Pad

Law offices of dott and rosen.

I'm sorry,
he's out of the office.
Would you like his voicemail? - Crash Pad

I'm sorry, he's out of the office. Would you li...

Mr. stensland,
what's this concerning? - Crash Pad

Mr. stensland, what's this concerning?

Please hold.
Uh-huh. - Crash Pad

Please hold. Uh-huh.

This is Grady dott. - Crash Pad

This is Grady dott.

I'm a 29-year-old,
unemployed
diamond in the rough - Crash Pad

I'm a 29-year-old, unemployed diamond in the rough

It's my sad duty to inform you
that I met your wife,
Morgan, last week - Crash Pad

It's my sad duty to inform you that I met your wife, Mo...

At no point over the weekend
did she inform me - Crash Pad

At no point over the weekend did she inform me

Now I'm going to find you,
and I'm going to kill you. - Crash Pad

Now I'm going to find you, and I'm going to kill...

One who hasn't
already been fucked up
by some other asshole, - Crash Pad

One who hasn't already been fucked up by some other ass...

Ella, Internet dating
has turned you cold. - Crash Pad

Ella, Internet dating has turned you cold.

She's right.
This Morgan's a mess. - Crash Pad

She's right. This Morgan's a mess.

Spend that love
on a woman who wants it.
Amen. - Crash Pad

Spend that love on a woman who wants it. Amen.

Coast is clear.
No one's outside
your apartment, doll. - Crash Pad

Coast is clear. No one's outside your apartment, doll.

Typical. That chump
ain't gonna fight for her. - Crash Pad

Typical. That chump ain't gonna fight for her.

You've fucked
your last wife, stensland. - Crash Pad

You've fucked your last wife, stensland.

Don't! God... - Crash Pad

No. My receptionist
was listening in
when I threatened you, - Crash Pad

No. My receptionist was listening in when I threatened you,

And there's no way
I'm breaking in
a new receptionist. - Crash Pad

And there's no way I'm breaking in a new reception...

I am, however, going to kick
the ever-loving
shit out of you. - Crash Pad

I am, however, going to kick the ever-loving shit out of you...

Crash Pad poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

A hopeless romantic thinks he's found true love with an older woman, only to learn that she's married and that his fling is merely an instrument of revenge against her neglectful husband.

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Production: Indomitable Entertainment,Wonderful Films

Genre: comedy

Year: 2017

MetaScore: N/A/100

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