"Crimes and Misdemeanors" quotes

Crimes and Misdemeanors poster
An ophthalmologist's mistress threatens to reveal their affair to his wife while a married documentary filmmaker is infatuated with another woman.

Director: Woody Allen
Writer: Woody Allen
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, drama
Year: 1989
MetaScore: 77/100
ImdbRating: 7.8
BoxOffice: $18,254,702
Released: 03 Nov 1989
Awards: Nominated for 3 Oscars. 16 wins & 26 nominations total

89 Clips

This is reality - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:26
This is reality
I want to speak to Miriam - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:43
I want to speak to Miriam
Schumann is flowery - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:22
Schumann is flowery
Maybe Miriam was responsible in some ways too - Crimes and Misdemeanors 02:39
Maybe Miriam was responsible in some ways too
You don't have to wear an outfit or anything - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:23
You don't have to wear an outfit or anything
I can't watch his stuff - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:17
I can't watch his stuff
Where I lead this double life - Crimes and Misdemeanors 01:51
Where I lead this double life
I'll be frank with you - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:47
I'll be frank with you
Give me one second - Crimes and Misdemeanors 01:04
Give me one second
I know you don't respect what I do - Crimes and Misdemeanors 01:17
I know you don't respect what I do
I think I see a cab - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:27
I think I see a cab
I remember my father telling me - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:35
I remember my father telling me
Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:54
Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya
I don't know why - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:59
I don't know why
It's pure evil - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:22
It's pure evil
It's   it's the one print that I own - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:42
It's it's the one print that I own
It's my fault - Crimes and Misdemeanors 02:02
It's my fault
I'm so lonely - Crimes and Misdemeanors 02:18
I'm so lonely
I'm in a great mood today - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:23
I'm in a great mood today
I'm a rabbi - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:23
I'm a rabbi
I'll say it once again - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:16
I'll say it once again
If you play your cards right - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:25
If you play your cards right
I wanted to give you this letter back - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:52
I wanted to give you this letter back
I told you I'm putty in your hands - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:23
I told you I'm putty in your hands
I love him like a brother - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:16
I love him like a brother
I like mental stimulation - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:18
I like mental stimulation
I know this guy - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:52
I know this guy
I don't know - Crimes and Misdemeanors 01:19
I don't know
I have so much good footage of him - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:29
I have so much good footage of him
I go all the time with my niece - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:47
I go all the time with my niece
I don't know what's wrong with you these days - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:32
I don't know what's wrong with you these days
I don't know from suicides - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:28
I don't know from suicides
You've seen too many movies - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:30
You've seen too many movies
You're the one who stopped sleeping with me - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:34
You're the one who stopped sleeping with me
You're not - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:41
You're not
You're in such wonderful shape - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:39
You're in such wonderful shape
You'd fire me - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:42
You'd fire me
You won't be involved - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:15
You won't be involved
You told me it's been plutonic a year - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:36
You told me it's been plutonic a year
You look very deep in thought - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:42
You look very deep in thought
At the same time - Crimes and Misdemeanors 01:36
At the same time
History is written by the winners - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:36
History is written by the winners
His endless hours of fund raising for the hospital - Crimes and Misdemeanors 03:01
His endless hours of fund raising for the hospital
He was very eloquent on the subject of love - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:37
He was very eloquent on the subject of love
He left a note - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:52
He left a note
He was great - Crimes and Misdemeanors 01:09
He was great
God have mercy on us - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:11
God have mercy on us
Everything came out fine - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:31
Everything came out fine
Every single thing on me is rented - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:29
Every single thing on me is rented
Don't get discouraged - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:18
Don't get discouraged
Do you agree the eyes are the windows of the soul - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:56
Do you agree the eyes are the windows of the soul
Comedy is tragedy plus time - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:13
Comedy is tragedy plus time
But the law - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:16
But the law
Are you telling me that you prefer God to the Truth - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:27
Are you telling me that you prefer God to the Truth
And after the awful deed is done - Crimes and Misdemeanors 03:11
And after the awful deed is done
And that's the first part of comedy - Crimes and Misdemeanors 01:16
And that's the first part of comedy
And his brother turns to the family priest and says  Father - Crimes and Misdemeanors 01:34
And his brother turns to the family priest and says Father
You fool around with her for your pleasure - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:56
You fool around with her for your pleasure
You don't just step on her - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:16
You don't just step on her
You called me because you needed some dirty work done - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:24
You called me because you needed some dirty work done
Why don't you come with me down to Barbados - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:25
Why don't you come with me down to Barbados
When he tells you he wants to exchange ideas - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:23
When he tells you he wants to exchange ideas
When we fall in love - Crimes and Misdemeanors 01:41
When we fall in love
What is the guy so upset about - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:25
What is the guy so upset about
What do you want me to say - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:26
What do you want me to say
What are you saying May - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:36
What are you saying May
What are you bothering with this guy for - Crimes and Misdemeanors 01:06
What are you bothering with this guy for
What am I gonna do - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:37
What am I gonna do
We really do have to go - Crimes and Misdemeanors 01:27
We really do have to go
We must always remember - Crimes and Misdemeanors 01:07
We must always remember
This is the 20th Century - Crimes and Misdemeanors 01:24
This is the 20th Century
This only happens in the movies - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:13
This only happens in the movies
There is absolutely nothing that escapes His sight - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:42
There is absolutely nothing that escapes His sight
The woman listened to reason - Crimes and Misdemeanors 01:04
The woman listened to reason
That's perfect - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:40
That's perfect
Show business is - Crimes and Misdemeanors 01:05
Show business is
She's always got a zinger - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:14
She's always got a zinger
Right there - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:35
Right there
Public television wants to do a documentary on me - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:40
Public television wants to do a documentary on me
One sin leads to a deeper sin - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:20
One sin leads to a deeper sin
Now I can get rid of my few remaining teeth - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:16
Now I can get rid of my few remaining teeth
No awards or anything - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:20
No awards or anything
My heart says one thing - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:41
My heart says one thing
Murder will out - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:26
Murder will out
Moral choices - Crimes and Misdemeanors 02:14
Moral choices
Miriam won't forgive me - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:18
Miriam won't forgive me
Maybe I   maybe I did make some questionable moves - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:49
Maybe I maybe I did make some questionable moves
Maybe I did make some questionable moves - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:23
Maybe I did make some questionable moves
Jack lives in the real world - Crimes and Misdemeanors 00:34
Jack lives in the real world

Cast

Testimonial Speaker - Bill Bernstein
Judah Rosenthal - Martin Landau
Miriam Rosenthal - Claire Bloom
Sharon Rosenthal - Stephanie Roth Haberle
Photographer (as George Manos) - George J. Manos
Dolores Paley - Anjelica Huston
Cliff Stern - Woody Allen
Wendy Stern - Joanna Gleason
Lester - Alan Alda
Carol - Zina Jasper
Judah's Secretary - Dolores Sutton
T.V. Producer (as Joel S. Fogel) - Joel Fogel
T.V. Producer - Donna Castellano
T.V. Producer (as Thomas P. Crow) - Thomas Crowe
Halley Reed - Mia Farrow
Professor Louis Levy - Martin Bergmann
Barbara - Caroline Aaron
Murray - Kenny Vance
Jack Rosenthal - Jerry Orbach
Man on Campus - Jerry Zaks
T.V. Writer - Barry Finkel
T.V. Writer - Steve Maidment
Alva (as Nadia Sanford) - Naydia Sanford
Stanley - Chris' Father - Stanley Reichman
Chris' Mother - Rebecca Schull
Sol Rosenthal - David S. Howard
Young Judah - Garrett Simowitz
House Owner - Frances Conroy
Aunt May - Anna Berger
Seder Guest - Sol Frieder
Seder Guest - Justin Zaremby
Seder Guest - Marvin Terban
Seder Guest - Hy Anzell
Seder Guest - Sylvia Kauders
Detective - Victor Argo
Wedding Guest - Lenore Loveman
Wedding Guest - Nora Ephron
Wedding Guest - Sunny Keyser
Wedding Guest - Merv Bloch
Wedding Guest - Nancy Arden
Wedding Guest - Thomas L. Bolster
Wedding Guest - Myla Pitt
Wedding Guest - Robin Bartlett
Bride (as Grace Zimmerman) - Grace Phillips
Rabbi - Joel Y. Zion
Jazz Band (as Major Halley Jr.) - Major Holley
Jazz Band (as Walter Levinsky) - Walt Levinsky
Jazz Band - George Masso
Jazz Band - Charles Miles
Jazz Band - Derek Smith
Jazz Band (as Warren Vache) - Warren Vaché
Wedding Band - Pete Antell
Wedding Band - Anthony Gorruso
Wedding Band - Gary Allen Meyers
Wedding Band - Lee Musiker
Wedding Band - Tony Sotos
Wedding Band (as Tony Tedeasco) - Tony Tedesco
Kathy - Makeup Person - Nancy Cohen
Popcorn Girl - Karen Constantine
Theater Popcorn Vendor - Marilyn Dobrin
Brother-in-law - Avner Eisenberg
Cliff's Assistant - Matthew T. Gitkin
Lisa Crosley - Daryl Hannah
Fantasy Focus During Dance Sequence - Peter Kalin
The Dean - Fred Melamed
Self (archive footage) - Benito Mussolini
Girl at Wedding Reception - Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow
Wedding Guest - Steven Prince
Party Guest - Mercedes Ruehl
Bridesmaid - Maggie Wagner
Sound Girl - Terry Walters