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Crossing Swords

A good-hearted peasant dreaming of knighthood becomes a squire at the royal castle. But his dream job isn't everything he'd hoped it would be.

Director

N/A

Year

Genre

animation, comedy, fantasy

Production

Stoopid Buddy Stoodios,Tom is Awesome,Buddy Systems,Sony Pictures Television

Awards

1 nomination

Homepage

https://www.hulu.com/series/crossing-swords-ae4f3a01-3cf8-4cf3-b28a-5add46ec094f

Cast information not available.

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Explore 943 Clips

"No cake, no king." - Crossing Swords

"No cake, no king."

The Million Dollar Minotaur Challenge
is about to commence. - Crossing Swords

The Million Dollar Minotaur Challenge is about to commence.

- Oh, c'mon, bitch! I'm in the middle
of a pirate turf war - Crossing Swords

- Oh, c'mon, bitch! I'm in the middle of a pirate ...

- He shouldn't take any ski trips - Crossing Swords

- He shouldn't take any ski trips

- That's right, Mother.
I've come back to you. - Crossing Swords

- That's right, Mother. I've come back to you.

- As a special treat,
tomorrow we'll be training somewhere new: - Crossing Swords

- As a special treat, tomorrow we'll be training somewh...

- Mother?
- Oh, ho-ho, sweetheart. - Crossing Swords

- Mother? - Oh, ho-ho, sweetheart.

- I love how you're not afraid to say
stuff out loud that no one wants to hear. - Crossing Swords

- I love how you're not afraid to say stuff out loud th...

I saw a horse drown in it the other day. - Crossing Swords

I saw a horse drown in it the other day.

- And Coral is the CEO
of her own shipping company! - Crossing Swords

- And Coral is the CEO of her own shipping company!

Trina Franklins! - Crossing Swords

Trina Franklins!

- We're not telling anybody.
We're going to Beast Feast. - Crossing Swords

- We're not telling anybody. We're going to Beast ...

- Would you just back off
and let me savor my victory? - Crossing Swords

- Would you just back off and let me savor my victory?

- Welcome to the 485th Chill Society! - Crossing Swords

- Welcome to the 485th Chill Society!

And the best part is,
I get a super sweet period party. - Crossing Swords

And the best part is, I get a super sweet period party.

Listen, I know you love us equally-- - Crossing Swords

Listen, I know you love us equally--

He's going to have the experience
of a lifetime, and it's all thanks to me! - Crossing Swords

He's going to have the experience of a lifetime, and it...

Lucky for you, I wrote and illustrated
a children's book all about it. Hmmph. - Crossing Swords

Lucky for you, I wrote and illustrated a children's boo...

Sucks to be you, Patrick! - Crossing Swords

Sucks to be you, Patrick!

I don't think you're ready
for the labyrinth - Crossing Swords

I don't think you're ready for the labyrinth

Merlin's merkin! My beans! - Crossing Swords

Merlin's merkin! My beans!

When I'm a knight, you're gonna realize - Crossing Swords

When I'm a knight, you're gonna realize

I mean, I can see inside your brain,
and that's cool, - Crossing Swords

I mean, I can see inside your brain, and that's cool,

I just might move there permanently! - Crossing Swords

I just might move there permanently!

- Don't sweat it, buddy.
I bought us some time. - Crossing Swords

- Don't sweat it, buddy. I bought us some time.

My sustained verbal abuse
and plant-shaming worked! - Crossing Swords

My sustained verbal abuse and plant-shaming worked!

Then I'm finally gonna be
front and center on the Christmas cards! - Crossing Swords

Then I'm finally gonna be front and center on the Chris...

As a young girl, I was in love
with a hunky stable boy named Danny. - Crossing Swords

As a young girl, I was in love with a hunky stable boy named...

It's mine. - Crossing Swords

- Aw, Keef!
What else do you miss about being real? - Crossing Swords

- Aw, Keef! What else do you miss about being real?

Stunt Budz! - Crossing Swords

- Oh, that's weird.
Someone left a trail of snacky food. - Crossing Swords

- Oh, that's weird. Someone left a trail of snacky food...

My hair and makeup budget!
That's what! - Crossing Swords

My hair and makeup budget! That's what!

- Um, I guess playing with my band.
The taste of my grandma's peach cobbler. - Crossing Swords

- Um, I guess playing with my band. The taste of my grandma&...

What happened to the old days
when we'd just stone people to death? - Crossing Swords

What happened to the old days when we'd just stone peop...

Let me give you the basics.
First, stay hydrated. - Crossing Swords

Let me give you the basics. First, stay hydrated.

Not feeling untethered in a directionless
void between heaven and hell. - Crossing Swords

Not feeling untethered in a directionless void between heave...

It was such a crowd-pleaser!
People like to feel included. - Crossing Swords

It was such a crowd-pleaser! People like to feel included.

Yeah. You can't kill me, snow. - Crossing Swords

Yeah. You can't kill me, snow.

- Let's just put it this way, - Crossing Swords

- Let's just put it this way,

Kraken Week is canceled! Forever! - Crossing Swords

Kraken Week is canceled! Forever!

What? The beans! - Crossing Swords

What? The beans!

As much fun as that sounds,
there's no way I'm splitting that million. - Crossing Swords

As much fun as that sounds, there's no way I'm spl...

Next, have a designated meet-up spot.
That's our meet-up spot. - Crossing Swords

Next, have a designated meet-up spot. That's our meet-u...

- Baby, it's so tragic.
We're like a young adult novel. - Crossing Swords

- Baby, it's so tragic. We're like a young adult n...

- Sounds like both of you
have dreams that won't come true. - Crossing Swords

- Sounds like both of you have dreams that won't come t...

So, Gregory, Isaac.
How do we avoid this war? - Crossing Swords

So, Gregory, Isaac. How do we avoid this war?

If my secret got out,
they'd lock me up - Crossing Swords

If my secret got out, they'd lock me up

It's... It's the beautiful princess
in love with the ghost - Crossing Swords

It's... It's the beautiful princess in love with t...

Here, get used to kicking
something with a face on it. - Crossing Swords

Here, get used to kicking something with a face on it.

And they've both got some nice cannons.
Do we have a deal? - Crossing Swords

And they've both got some nice cannons. Do we have a de...

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck... - Crossing Swords

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...

How am I supposed to atone for my sins - Crossing Swords

How am I supposed to atone for my sins

Minotaur made out of balloons? - Crossing Swords

Minotaur made out of balloons?

- I'm gonna be educated!
It was my papa's dying wish! - Crossing Swords

- I'm gonna be educated! It was my papa's dying wi...

- You know I'd freak everybody out
if I went to your period party. - Crossing Swords

- You know I'd freak everybody out if I went to your pe...

- The Royal Navy can handle it.
More importantly, where are we with lunch? - Crossing Swords

- The Royal Navy can handle it. More importantly, where are ...

- Oh, great.
- Her papa was the last guy I executed. - Crossing Swords

- Oh, great. - Her papa was the last guy I executed.

And the lawsuits,
they were settled in arbitration! - Crossing Swords

And the lawsuits, they were settled in arbitration!

On the eve of the period party, - Crossing Swords

On the eve of the period party,

Did someone say "period party"? - Crossing Swords

Did someone say "period party"?

But I'm certainly not gonna work
at this "hospice for toddlers." - Crossing Swords

But I'm certainly not gonna work at this "hospice ...

For example,
Cinnamon is on the ship. - Crossing Swords

For example, Cinnamon is on the ship.

You can't take a bite out of my ass, - Crossing Swords

You can't take a bite out of my ass,

- That's... haunting.
But perfect segue: - Crossing Swords

- That's... haunting. But perfect segue:

If he's running away from his problems,
maybe I should, too. - Crossing Swords

If he's running away from his problems, maybe I should,...

- Aunt Donna!
Piss off, you crazy egg lady. - Crossing Swords

- Aunt Donna! Piss off, you crazy egg lady.

- Behold. A drunk festival girl
who lost her friends. - Crossing Swords

- Behold. A drunk festival girl who lost her friends.

But if the king dies, the kingdom's
problems might only get worse. - Crossing Swords

But if the king dies, the kingdom's problems might only...

Your son's no looker
since that horse fell on his face. - Crossing Swords

Your son's no looker since that horse fell on his face.

- I haven't had visitors in years. - Crossing Swords

- I haven't had visitors in years.

- Your Highness, also aboard
is a load of Basil. - Crossing Swords

- Your Highness, also aboard is a load of Basil.

- It's an announcement for
the King's Annual Squire Tournament. - Crossing Swords

- It's an announcement for the King's Annual Squir...

And lastly,
don't ever lead a cow upstairs. - Crossing Swords

And lastly, don't ever lead a cow upstairs.

- We're not visiting you.
This is our secret makeout spot now. - Crossing Swords

- We're not visiting you. This is our secret makeout sp...

- Okay.
I think the death penalty is, uh, wrong. - Crossing Swords

- Okay. I think the death penalty is, uh, wrong.

- Oh, fine.
- Now... let's seal the deal! - Crossing Swords

- Oh, fine. - Now... let's seal the deal!

They can't get back down.
You might think it's a fun prank, - Crossing Swords

They can't get back down. You might think it's a f...

- Oh! That's nice! That's why I put it
on a public bulletin board: - Crossing Swords

- Oh! That's nice! That's why I put it on a public...

Ugh! My grandpa locked her weird ass
up here before I was even born. - Crossing Swords

Ugh! My grandpa locked her weird ass up here before I was ev...

- Kid, I am so with you.
We can't put every prisoner to death. - Crossing Swords

- Kid, I am so with you. We can't put every prisoner to...

Ah, yes! - Crossing Swords

- I'm Doreen,
and this is my husband, Glenn. - Crossing Swords

- I'm Doreen, and this is my husband, Glenn.

I bet a beautiful ice princess lives here. - Crossing Swords

I bet a beautiful ice princess lives here.

- Exactly!
- An execution is a “sometimes treat.” - Crossing Swords

- Exactly! - An execution is a “sometimes treat.”

But I never knew what happened
to my baby after that. - Crossing Swords

But I never knew what happened to my baby after that.

- He's not my boyfriend,
we're common law married now. - Crossing Swords

- He's not my boyfriend, we're common law married ...

- Oh, God. Come back!
The kingdom needs you! - Crossing Swords

- Oh, God. Come back! The kingdom needs you!

And she keeps cat shit in a pizza box? - Crossing Swords

And she keeps cat shit in a pizza box?

- And that's why I can't execute
some average schmoe tomorrow. - Crossing Swords

- And that's why I can't execute some average schm...

Crossing Swords poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

A good-hearted peasant dreaming of knighthood becomes a squire at the royal castle. But his dream job isn't everything he'd hoped it would be.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: N/A

Writer: John Harvatine IV, Tom Root

Production: Stoopid Buddy Stoodios,Tom is Awesome,Buddy Systems,Sony Pictures Television

Genre: animation, comedy, fantasy

Year: 2020

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 6.7

BoxOffice:

Released: 12 Jun 2020

Awards: 1 nomination

Homepage: https://www.hulu.com/series/crossing-swords-ae4f3a01-3cf8-4cf3-b28a-5add46ec094f