I mean, what are you eating? A lot of grains and fruits and nuts? You're like a Jew...
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Larry David:
Every time I go to the bathroom I have to have this stop-and-chat with her both before I go and after I go. You know, it's too much. Richard Lewis:
She means well. By the way, she told me that you go to the bathroom like ten to fourteen times a day. You move your bowels, you piss... Are you alright? She was concerned. Larry David:
Alright, you see what I'm saying? This is what I'm talking about. This is none of her business! How often I go to the bathroom, what I'm doing in there, how long I'm in there, talking to you about my personal bathroom habits! That's not good, alright? It's too much! It's too much. Richard Lewis:
But someone's gonna sit there. What, would you rather have a klansman sitting there? Larry David:
No, I would rather have a stranger, frankly! A stranger sitting there who I don't have to report in to. Richard Lewis:
She cares about you. Larry David:
Oh, she cares about me? Richard Lewis:
Yeah. Larry David:
Listen, it's none of her business... Richard Lewis:
She has bowel concern for you and I do too! Larry David:
I don't need her bowel concern! I drink A lot of water, that's all. I drink A lot of water. Big deal. Richard Lewis:
A lot of water? You drink more than a porpoise. No one pisses that often without drinking like thousands of gallons a week. Larry David:
Alright, let's stop talking about this. My bathroom habits are not your concern, okay? Richard Lewis:
Alright then I won't care about your health. Fine. Larry David:
You don't need to care about- I'm in very good health! I got a beautiful colon! You wanna take a picture of my colon? Richard Lewis:
I have a VHS of mine! Larry David:
Fine, fine, you can put my colon up next to your colon! We'll see who has a cleaner, healthier colon! Richard Lewis:
I'll have a colon contest with you any time you want! Larry David:
Any time you wanna have a colon contest, buddy! Richard Lewis:
You're shitting and pissing almost seventy times a week! Larry David:
Get the hell out of here! This is ridiculous! Richard Lewis:
She's right next to you, she's... Larry David:
I DON'T WANT HER MONITORING My bathroom HABITS, OKAY? Richard Lewis:
I mean, what are you eating? A lot of grains and fruits and nuts? You're like a Jew squirrel
Every time I go to the bathroom I have to have this stop-and-chat with her both before I go and after I go. You know, it's too much. Richard Lewis:
She means well. By the way, she told me that you go to the bathroom like ten to fourteen times a day. You move your bowels, you piss... Are you alright? She was concerned. Larry David:
Alright, you see what I'm saying? This is what I'm talking about. This is none of her business! How often I go to the bathroom, what I'm doing in there, how long I'm in there, talking to you about my personal bathroom habits! That's not good, alright? It's too much! It's too much. Richard Lewis:
But someone's gonna sit there. What, would you rather have a klansman sitting there? Larry David:
No, I would rather have a stranger, frankly! A stranger sitting there who I don't have to report in to. Richard Lewis:
She cares about you. Larry David:
Oh, she cares about me? Richard Lewis:
Yeah. Larry David:
Listen, it's none of her business... Richard Lewis:
She has bowel concern for you and I do too! Larry David:
I don't need her bowel concern! I drink A lot of water, that's all. I drink A lot of water. Big deal. Richard Lewis:
A lot of water? You drink more than a porpoise. No one pisses that often without drinking like thousands of gallons a week. Larry David:
Alright, let's stop talking about this. My bathroom habits are not your concern, okay? Richard Lewis:
Alright then I won't care about your health. Fine. Larry David:
You don't need to care about- I'm in very good health! I got a beautiful colon! You wanna take a picture of my colon? Richard Lewis:
I have a VHS of mine! Larry David:
Fine, fine, you can put my colon up next to your colon! We'll see who has a cleaner, healthier colon! Richard Lewis:
I'll have a colon contest with you any time you want! Larry David:
Any time you wanna have a colon contest, buddy! Richard Lewis:
You're shitting and pissing almost seventy times a week! Larry David:
Get the hell out of here! This is ridiculous! Richard Lewis:
She's right next to you, she's... Larry David:
I DON'T WANT HER MONITORING My bathroom HABITS, OKAY? Richard Lewis:
I mean, what are you eating? A lot of grains and fruits and nuts? You're like a Jew squirrel
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.867
HER OFFICE IS RIGHT ACROSS FROM THE BATHROOM
00:00:02.867 --> 00:00:06.000
YEAH I KNOW EVERY TIME I GO TO THE BATHROOM
00:00:06.033 --> 00:00:09.133
I HAVE TO HAVE THIS STOP AND CHAT WITH HER
00:00:09.167 --> 00:00:13.003
BOTH BEFORE I GO AND AFTER I GO IT'S TOO MUCH
00:00:13.333 --> 00:00:15.007
SHE MEANS WELL BY THE WAY SHE'S TOLD ME
00:00:15.733 --> 00:00:19.167
THAT YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM LIKE 10 TO 14 TIMES A DAY
00:00:19.002 --> 00:00:21.467
YOU MOVE YOUR BOWELS YOU PISS
00:00:21.005 --> 00:00:23.267
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT SHE WAS CONCERNED
00:00:23.003 --> 00:00:25.067
OKAY DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING
00:00:25.001 --> 00:00:28.233
THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT THIS IS NONE OF HER BUSINESS
00:00:28.267 --> 00:00:29.933
HOW OFTEN I GO TO THE BATHROOM
00:00:29.967 --> 00:00:32.467
WHAT I'M DOING IN THERE HOW LONG I'M IN THERE
00:00:32.005 --> 00:00:35.333
TALKING TO YOU ABOUT MY PERSONAL BATHROOM HABITS
00:00:35.367 --> 00:00:38.333
THAT'S NOT GOOD ALL RIGHT IT'S TOO MUCH IT'S TOO MUCH
00:00:38.367 --> 00:00:41.067
SOMEONE'S GOT TO SIT THERE WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE A KLANSMAN SITTING THERE
00:00:41.001 --> 00:00:44.002
NO I'D RATHER HAVE A STRANGER FRANKLY A STRANGER SITTING THERE
00:00:44.233 --> 00:00:46.005
WHO I DON'T HAVE TO REPORT INTO
00:00:46.533 --> 00:00:49.533
SHE CARES ABOUT YOU OH SHE CARES ABOUT ME
00:00:49.567 --> 00:00:51.007
YEAH OKAY LISTEN IT'S NONE OF HER BUSINESS
00:00:51.733 --> 00:00:53.007
SHE HAS BOWEL CONCERN FOR YOU AND I DO TOO
00:00:53.733 --> 00:00:55.433
I DON'T NEED HER BOWEL CONCERN
00:00:55.467 --> 00:00:57.933
HOW MUCH WATER DO YOU DRINK I DRINK A LOT OF WATER THAT'S ALL
00:00:57.967 --> 00:00:58.933
BIG DEAL A LOT OF WATER YOU DRINK MORE THAN A PORPOISE
00:00:58.967 --> 00:01:02.001
YEAH USUALLY I HAVE BOTTLES OF WATER
00:01:02.133 --> 00:01:03.967
I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE NO ONE PISSES THAT OFTEN
00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:05.967
WITHOUT DRINKING LIKE THOUSANDS OF GALLONS A WEEK
00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:08.367
OKAY ALL RIGHT LET'S STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS
00:01:08.001 --> 00:01:11.367
MY BATHROOM HABITS ARE NOT YOUR CONCERN OKAY
00:01:11.001 --> 00:01:13.999
ALL RIGHT I WON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH FINE
00:01:13.633 --> 00:01:15.533
YOU DON'T NEED TO CARE ABOUT I'M IN VERY GOOD HEALTH
00:01:15.999 --> 00:01:17.467
YOU ARE I GOT A BEAUTIFUL COLON
00:01:17.005 --> 00:01:19.367
YOU WANNA TAKE A PICTURE OF MY COLON I HAVE A VHS OF MINE
00:01:19.001 --> 00:01:22.002
FINE YOU CAN PUT MY COLON UP NEXT TO YOUR COLON
00:01:22.233 --> 00:01:23.999
WE'LL SEE WHO'S GOT A CLEANER HEALTHIER COLON
00:01:23.999 --> 00:01:25.367
I'LL HAVE A COLON CONTEST WITH YOU ANY TIME YOU WANT
00:01:25.001 --> 00:01:27.867
ANY TIME YOU WANT TO HAVE A COLON CONTEST BUDDY YEAH
00:01:27.867 --> 00:01:30.994
YOU'RE SHITTING AND PISSING ALMOST 70 TIMES A WEEK
00:01:30.133 --> 00:01:33.133
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE THIS IS RIDICULOUS
00:01:33.167 --> 00:01:34.003
SHE'S RIGHT NEXT TO YOU
00:01:34.333 --> 00:01:35.867
I DON'T WANT HER MONITORING
00:01:35.867 --> 00:01:39.005
MY BATHROOM HABITS OKAY
00:01:39.533 --> 00:01:41.005
WHAT ARE YOU EATING A LOT OF GRAINS
00:01:41.533 --> 00:01:43.001
AND FRUIT AND NUTS LIKE A JEW SQUIRREL
00:01:43.467 --> 00:01:45.007
OKAY WHERE ARE YOU GOING
00:01:45.733 --> 00:01:46.967
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO THE BATHROOM AGAIN
00:01:47.000 --> 00:01:48.001
NO I'M NOT GOING TO THE BATHROOM
00:01:48.001 --> 00:01:50.001
YOU ARE GOING TO THE BATHROOM NO
00:01:50.993 --> 00:01:52.001
I BET YOU ARE GOING TO THE BATHROOM
00:02:25.999 --> 00:02:27.999
screaming
00:02:47.999 --> 00:02:48.733
SO WHAT HAPPENED
00:02:48.767 --> 00:02:51.001
I FLUSHED A TOILET AND IT WAS LIKE
00:02:51.005 --> 00:02:54.001
THE LOUDEST FLUSH LIKE A SONIC BOOM WENT OFF
00:02:54.005 --> 00:02:57.999
IT JUST WAS SO LOUD THAT I WAS THROWN BACK REALLY
00:02:57.733 --> 00:02:59.001
I WAS TRAPPED INSIDE THE STALL
00:02:59.999 --> 00:03:02.233
AND I'M TELLING YOU IT'S KILLING ME
00:03:02.267 --> 00:03:04.999
OKAY SO YOU'RE HAVING SOME PAIN THERE
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Movie Summary
The life and times of Larry David and the predicaments he gets himself into with his friends and complete strangers.
