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This kidnap's the most terrible thing that's ever happened to me
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Damsel

This kidnap's the most terriblething that's ever happened to me

Damsel • 2018
This kidnap's the most terrible
thing that's ever happened to me

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.243
This kidnap's the most terrible thing that's ever happened to me.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
43
Timestamp in Movie
00:37:35
Uploaded
Jun 22, 2025
Genres
comedy, drama, western
Production
Strophic Productions Limited

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Movie Summary

It's the Wild West, circa 1870. Samuel Alabaster, an affluent pioneer, ventures across the American frontier to marry the love of his life, Penelope. As his group traverses the west, the once-simple journey grows treacherous, blurrin
It hurts... down deep inside. - Damsel 00:04
It hurts... down deep inside.
Literally, I've... I've got ulcers. - Damsel 00:04
Literally, I've... I've got ulcers.
Marry her proper under the eyes of the Lord and have a quiet life. - Damsel 00:04
Marry her proper under the eyes of the Lord and have a quiet...
That evil son of a bitch had to go and mess it all up. - Damsel 00:04
That evil son of a bitch had to go and mess it all up.
I mean, someone in the flesh just pure goddamned scum-loving evil? - Damsel 00:05
I mean, someone in the flesh just pure goddamned scum-loving...
I don't know. - How can you not know? You're a Parson. - Damsel 00:04
I don't know. - How can you not know? You're a Par...
Now, I'm not talking about some fly by night gangbang hostess. - Damsel 00:04
Now, I'm not talking about some fly by night gangbang h...
I agreed to join the two of you in holy matrimony - Damsel 00:05
I agreed to join the two of you in holy matrimony
Of course I believe in love! I'm sorry, I just can't! - Damsel 00:04
Of course I believe in love! I'm sorry, I just can'...
Well, I'm no cartographer but I figured I'd just go right back the way we came. - Damsel 00:06
Well, I'm no cartographer but I figured I'd just g...
I'll give you 90 more. I'll make it 150. - Damsel 00:04
I'll give you 90 more. I'll make it 150.
Look, I... I beg you. Penelope's all I got left. - Damsel 00:05
Look, I... I beg you. Penelope's all I got left.
I told her I landed on number nine because that was her cake and I wanted to meet her. - Damsel 00:05
I told her I landed on number nine because that was her cake...
And I joked, 'That's legal?' - Damsel 00:05
And I joked, 'That's legal?'
Have you considered the slight possibility that they... - Damsel 00:05
Have you considered the slight possibility that they...
I hate to break it to you - Damsel 00:07
I hate to break it to you
Then, I'll untie Penelope, help her to escape. - Damsel 00:04
Then, I'll untie Penelope, help her to escape.
That point, once the coast is clear, on bended knee... - Damsel 00:04
That point, once the coast is clear, on bended knee...
But just please remember, that a woman's life is at stake here. - Damsel 00:04
But just please remember, that a woman's life is at sta...
I want to ask you to be my lawfully wedded wife. - Damsel 00:04
I want to ask you to be my lawfully wedded wife.