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Carolyn Stoddard:
I don't feel comfortable discussing this with you.Barnabas Collins:Do not fear, my child. I simply seek advice on the art of courting a woman of this time... Land. And who better to tutor me than a woman of your age? What is your age, if I may?Carolyn Stoddard:Fifteen.Barnabas Collins:Fifteen and no husband. You must put those birthing hips to good use at once lest your womb shrivel up and die.Carolyn Stoddard:You're weird.Barnabas Collins:But do you think me too weird for a woman of this... land?Carolyn Stoddard:You obviously mean Vicky.Barnabas Collins:She has the most fertile birthing hips I have ever laid eyes upon.Carolyn Stoddard:You're way too weird.Barnabas Collins:Do you really think so?Carolyn Stoddard:You're all stiff, proper and old-fashioned.Barnabas Collins:And Victoria... Is she not proper?Carolyn Stoddard:She likes to pretend she's rock 'n' roll. She's a Carpenters kind of chick for sure.Barnabas Collins:Do you mean to say that she has a penchant for woodworkers?Carolyn Stoddard:The Carpenters are musicians, stupid.Barnabas Collins:Ah, music. Yes, I'm rather fond of the music of the day. "I am a picker, I am a grinner / I am a lover and I am a sinner / I play my music in the sun" If only Shakespeare had been as eloquent.Carolyn Stoddard:Okay. If you wanna get with her, you're gonna have to change your approach. Drop the whole weird Swinging London thing and hang out with a few normal people
I don't feel comfortable discussing this with you.Barnabas Collins:Do not fear, my child. I simply seek advice on the art of courting a woman of this time... Land. And who better to tutor me than a woman of your age? What is your age, if I may?Carolyn Stoddard:Fifteen.Barnabas Collins:Fifteen and no husband. You must put those birthing hips to good use at once lest your womb shrivel up and die.Carolyn Stoddard:You're weird.Barnabas Collins:But do you think me too weird for a woman of this... land?Carolyn Stoddard:You obviously mean Vicky.Barnabas Collins:She has the most fertile birthing hips I have ever laid eyes upon.Carolyn Stoddard:You're way too weird.Barnabas Collins:Do you really think so?Carolyn Stoddard:You're all stiff, proper and old-fashioned.Barnabas Collins:And Victoria... Is she not proper?Carolyn Stoddard:She likes to pretend she's rock 'n' roll. She's a Carpenters kind of chick for sure.Barnabas Collins:Do you mean to say that she has a penchant for woodworkers?Carolyn Stoddard:The Carpenters are musicians, stupid.Barnabas Collins:Ah, music. Yes, I'm rather fond of the music of the day. "I am a picker, I am a grinner / I am a lover and I am a sinner / I play my music in the sun" If only Shakespeare had been as eloquent.Carolyn Stoddard:Okay. If you wanna get with her, you're gonna have to change your approach. Drop the whole weird Swinging London thing and hang out with a few normal people
Full Transcript
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I don't feel comfortable discussing this with you
00:00:03.794 --> 00:00:05.503
Do not fear my child
00:00:05.671 --> 00:00:10.217
I simply seek advice on the art of courting a woman of this time
00:00:10.384 --> 00:00:11.426
Land
00:00:11.969 --> 00:00:15.805
And who better to tutor me than a woman of your age
00:00:16.014 --> 00:00:17.641
What is your age if I may
00:00:18.434 --> 00:00:22.027
Fifteen Fifteen and no husband
00:00:22.438 --> 00:00:24.981
You must put those birthing hips to good use at once
00:00:25.149 --> 00:00:28.485
lest your womb shrivel up and die
00:00:28.945 --> 00:00:30.032
You're weird
00:00:30.738 --> 00:00:34.658
But do you think me too weird for a woman of this
00:00:34.825 --> 00:00:35.825
land
00:00:35.993 --> 00:00:38.286
You obviously mean Vicky
00:00:40.873 --> 00:00:45.961
She has the most fertile birthing hips I have ever laid eyes upon
00:00:46.837 --> 00:00:48.338
You're way too weird
00:00:48.965 --> 00:00:50.034
Do you really think so
00:00:51.027 --> 00:00:54.427
You're all stiff proper and old fashioned
00:00:55.972 --> 00:00:57.722
And Victoria
00:00:58.474 --> 00:01:01.309
is she not proper
00:01:01.852 --> 00:01:05.002
She likes to pretend she's rock 'n' roll
00:01:05.999 --> 00:01:07.774
She's a Carpenters kind of chick for sure
00:01:09.277 --> 00:01:12.999
Do you mean to say that she has a penchant for woodworkers
00:01:12.078 --> 00:01:14.999
The Carpenters are musicians stupid
00:01:16.158 --> 00:01:18.999
Music
00:01:18.369 --> 00:01:22.539
Yes I'm rather fond of the music of the day
00:01:25.501 --> 00:01:27.377
I am a picker
00:01:27.545 --> 00:01:30.001
I am a grinner
00:01:30.339 --> 00:01:32.001
I am a lover
00:01:33.997 --> 00:01:36.553
And I am a sinner
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I play my music
00:01:40.002 --> 00:01:41.001
In the sun
00:01:44.562 --> 00:01:46.073
If only Shakespeare had been as eloquent
00:01:46.001 --> 00:01:48.999
Okay
00:01:49.233 --> 00:01:52.444
If you wanna get with her you're gonna have to change your approach
00:01:52.611 --> 00:01:54.946
Drop the whole weird Swinging London thing
00:01:55.114 --> 00:01:57.999
and hang out with a few normal people
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Movie Summary
Vampire Barnabas Collins is inadvertently freed from his tomb and emerges into the very changed world of 1972. He returns to Collinwood Manor to find that his once-grand estate and family have fallen into ruin.


