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I'm calling because I'm about to access my bar mitzvah money
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DAVE

I'm calling because I'm aboutto access my bar mitzvah money and I thought you should know

DAVE • S01E01 • 2020
I'm calling because I'm about
to access my bar mitzvah money and I thought you should know

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.969
I'm calling because I'm about to access my bar mitzvah money
00:00:03.998 --> 00:00:04.237
and I thought you should know.
Duration
4 seconds
Views
46
Timestamp in Movie
00:11:44
Uploaded
Jun 01, 2025
Season
1
Episode
1
Genres
comedy, music

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Movie Summary

A neurotic, mid-20s suburbanite, is convinced he's destined to be one of the greatest rappers of all time. Now, he just has to prove it to everyone else.
S01 • E08 My features are so grotesque, - DAVE 00:06
My features are so grotesque,
S01 • E10 Yeah, well, how the-how the fuckis Spotify gonna play that - DAVE 00:05
Yeah, well, how the-how the fuckis Spotify gonna play that
S01 • E04 As much as it pains me to say it, I do, I really do. - DAVE 00:04
As much as it pains me to say it, I do, I really do.
S01 • E03 Ah, I'm cool, bro. I ain't trying to hear - DAVE 00:04
Ah, I'm cool, bro. I ain't trying to hear
S01 • E10 And by the way, your days of not letting me - DAVE 00:04
And by the way, your days of not letting me
S01 • E01 I'm actually getting, like, a very big rapper - DAVE 00:07
I'm actually getting, like, a very big rapper
S01 • E08 I don't know, I shot out the other side, - DAVE 00:04
I don't know, I shot out the other side,
S01 • E02 His dad sent me an e-mail, but the format's so weird, - DAVE 00:04
His dad sent me an e-mail, but the format's so weird,
S01 • E07 DAVE: You look like if they made a new Pinocchio movie, you know, - DAVE 00:08
DAVE: You look like if they made a new Pinocchio movie, you ...
S01 • E04 -Hmm. -But without me or somebody like me, - DAVE 00:06
-Hmm. -But without me or somebody like me,
S02 • E05 You got to be kidding me. - DAVE 00:06
You got to be kidding me.
S01 • E09 I feel like I've had enough woman-on-woman abuse - DAVE 00:05
I feel like I've had enough woman-on-woman abuse
S01 • E02 Come on, stop tripping, and this cheesesteak, - DAVE 00:05
Come on, stop tripping, and this cheesesteak,
S01 • E05 What are you, a Globetrotter? [chuckles] - DAVE 00:04
What are you, a Globetrotter? [chuckles]
S01 • E01 Are you crazy? What-- David, - DAVE 00:05
Are you crazy? What-- David,
S01 • E03 -Next subject. Let's keep it rolling. -What does she want - DAVE 00:05
-Next subject. Let's keep it rolling. -What does she wa...
S03 • E07 (grunts) - DAVE 00:12
(grunts)
S01 • E09 -Oh, I see. -Sorry. (laughs) - DAVE 00:05
-Oh, I see. -Sorry. (laughs)
S01 • E05 -[whoops] -I stopped doing it for that reason. I'm just saying, - DAVE 00:05
-[whoops] -I stopped doing it for that reason. I'm just...
S01 • E01 How come we never talk about the 15 million views - DAVE 00:04
How come we never talk about the 15 million views