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Why are you being so weird about this? Why don't you
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DAVE

Why are you being so weirdabout this? Why don't you just, like, watch porn with...

DAVE • S01E03 • 2020
Why are you being so weird
about this? Why don't you just, like, watch porn with her?
Everybody does that -with their girlfriend.
-DAVE: Yeah, why don't I say, "Hey, Al.
Let me load up a video of a guy with an 11 and a half-inch cock
made of meat." -MIKE: Yeah.
-DAVE: "You can compare it -to my shredded wheat dick..."
-Hold up

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.368
Why are you being so weird about this? Why don't you
00:00:02.402 --> 00:00:03.803
just, like, watch porn with her? Everybody does that
00:00:03.836 --> 00:00:05.037
-with their girlfriend. -DAVE: Yeah, why don't I say,
00:00:05.007 --> 00:00:07.373
"Hey, Al. Let me load up a video of a guy
00:00:07.407 --> 00:00:09.709
with an 11 and a half-inch cock made of meat."
00:00:09.742 --> 00:00:11.999
-MIKE: Yeah. -DAVE: "You can compare it
00:00:11.001 --> 00:00:12.478
-to my shredded wheat dick..." -Hold up.
Duration
12 seconds
Views
27
Timestamp in Movie
00:13:06
Uploaded
Jun 01, 2025
Season
1
Episode
3
Genres
comedy, music

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Movie Summary

A neurotic, mid-20s suburbanite, is convinced he's destined to be one of the greatest rappers of all time. Now, he just has to prove it to everyone else.
S01 • E02 Yeah. You're not praying to your God. - DAVE 00:04
Yeah. You're not praying to your God.
S01 • E04 No, no, that's okay. Already, I'm selecting... - DAVE 00:04
No, no, that's okay. Already, I'm selecting...
S01 • E05 -I know you ain't in here buyingshoes. You still owe me money. -Relax, bro. Come on. - DAVE 00:04
-I know you ain't in here buyingshoes. You still owe me...
S01 • E09 -I'm gonna let the cream brew. -Mm-kay. - DAVE 00:04
-I'm gonna let the cream brew. -Mm-kay.
S01 • E10 And then, for myself, I did some without dicks. - DAVE 00:05
And then, for myself, I did some without dicks.
S01 • E07 But you know what? I may start stealing laptops, - DAVE 00:05
But you know what? I may start stealing laptops,
S01 • E02 -Like, like... do you... -Whoo... what you 'bout to do? - DAVE 00:05
-Like, like... do you... -Whoo... what you 'bout to do?
S01 • E10 I actually-- I like this non-dick one. Let's do that. - DAVE 00:04
I actually-- I like this non-dick one. Let's do that.
S01 • E04 Hey, I-I got to tell you, Mike,Carol and I, - DAVE 00:07
Hey, I-I got to tell you, Mike,Carol and I,
S01 • E10 So you want, like, 50 differentvariations of this - DAVE 00:07
So you want, like, 50 differentvariations of this
S01 • E02 Whoever made this planet is doing a great job to me, brah. - DAVE 00:05
Whoever made this planet is doing a great job to me, brah.
S01 • E01 -(ringtone playing) -Oh, my... - DAVE 00:04
-(ringtone playing) -Oh, my...
S01 • E07 -Stand up 69 where I hold you? -(laughs) - DAVE 00:05
-Stand up 69 where I hold you? -(laughs)
S01 • E04 It's unbelievable. We have three Roombas at the house, - DAVE 00:05
It's unbelievable. We have three Roombas at the house,
S01 • E09 And just to be clear, dude, - DAVE 00:07
And just to be clear, dude,
S01 • E01 It's my boss. Dude, - DAVE 00:06
It's my boss. Dude,
S01 • E04 Look at this-- $42 on a delivery dinner for one. - DAVE 00:05
Look at this-- $42 on a delivery dinner for one.
S02 • E06 ♪ Known it, why don't you say so?♪ - DAVE 00:22
♪ Known it, why don't you say so?♪
S01 • E09 I can't believe we're having a conversation - DAVE 00:06
I can't believe we're having a conversation
S01 • E08 -GATA: Ha! -...and are too white." - DAVE 00:06
-GATA: Ha! -...and are too white."