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Can't keep him.
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Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas

Can't keep him." And then my kids started cryingand screaming like the dog had gambling...

Can't keep him." And then my kids started crying
and screaming like the dog had gambling debts

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.989
Can't keep him."
00:00:02.068 --> 00:00:04.237
And then my kids started crying and screaming
00:00:04.304 --> 00:00:05.805
like the dog had gambling debts.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
28
Timestamp in Movie
00:48:18
Uploaded
Oct 30, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Dave Chappelle gives his stand about racially charged run-ins, celebrity scandals and fatherly dilemmas in his stand-up set at Austin's Moody Theater.
"Please, Dad! If you don't let us keep him, - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:13
"Please, Dad! If you don't let us keep him,
One night, I'd smoked a bunch of weed, and I was eating a sandwich, - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:08
One night, I'd smoked a bunch of weed, and I was eating...
I had to give him a piece of my sandwich so he'd go away, - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:07
I had to give him a piece of my sandwich so he'd go awa...
Now, if you see me walking down the street with Baba, - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:07
Now, if you see me walking down the street with Baba,
How'd you train Baba to do that shit?" - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:07
How'd you train Baba to do that shit?"
I'm just a messy eater." - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:08
I'm just a messy eater."
"Baba!" - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:06
"Baba!"
"Over here, little buddy." - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:09
"Over here, little buddy."
But he knows all my habits. If he smells weed in the house, - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:08
But he knows all my habits. If he smells weed in the house,
Baba got me through a very difficult time in my marriage. - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:05
Baba got me through a very difficult time in my marriage.
It's not that me and my wife don't spend time together, - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:13
It's not that me and my wife don't spend time toge...
You know what I mean. Yeah. We're just in the zone. - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:05
You know what I mean. Yeah. We're just in the zone.
She says the same shit to me every night before she goes to bed. - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:05
She says the same shit to me every night before she goes to ...
Good night." - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:08
Good night."
"David?" - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:10
"David?"
Well, the crazy shit is, I don't even eat their lunch anymore. - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:05
Well, the crazy shit is, I don't even eat their lunch a...
Back in the day, I used to eat that shit. You know how that goes. - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:05
Back in the day, I used to eat that shit. You know how that ...
Now I might smoke some weed in the middle of the night, - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:07
Now I might smoke some weed in the middle of the night,
What's the big deal? Why can't she just make another one in the morning? - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:05
What's the big deal? Why can't she just make anoth...
My kids will be at school the next day like, - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:12
My kids will be at school the next day like,